avoiding Bibi’s gaze, ‘and ‘I thought, what if Liam’s one of them? What if it jolts him into realising he doesn’t want to lose me?’
‘You hoped he’d turn into Mr Ever-Faithful.’
Dulcie nodded.
‘That was the plan. It didn’t work, of course. And then he found out, so it was all over between us anyway.’ She sat back in her chair and groaned. ‘I wasn’t upset about losing him. ‘I didn’t even care by that time. ‘I just can’t get over the fact that ‘I did something so awful, so pathetic and underhand. I’m so ashamed ... ‘I still can’t believe I thought it was a reasonable thing to do.’
‘Oh Dulcie, an unfaithful lover is enough to drive anyone to desperation,’ Bibi said consolingly.
She leaned closer. ‘Look on the bright side. At least you didn’t shoot him.’
Dulcie dredged up a smile.
‘No, there is that.’
‘And at least you weren’t really pregnant.’
Dulcie’s smile did an abrupt U-turn and disappeared. ‘No, I know.’
‘Oh darling, what’s wrong?’ Bibi looked alarmed.
It sounded ridiculous, but Dulcie knew she had to say this too.
‘Those children I told you about, the ones who sang 'Silent Night' to me,’ she faltered, trying to explain. ‘It made me realise how much ‘I do want a family ... and then ‘I thought what if God decides to punish me for pretending to be pregnant? What if he makes sure ‘I never have children of my own?’
‘Sweetheart, you can’t possibly think that!’ exclaimed Bibi, before Dulcie’s eyes could fill up again. ‘Heavens, I’m sure God has more on his mind than your latest bit of plotting. ‘I mean, what were you doing really?’ she argued. ‘Just sussing Liam out, seeing if he’d make a good husband and father. If you look at it that way, it’s a perfectly sensible thing to do.’ With a reassuring smile, Bibi tapped her forehead. ‘Like most of your bright ideas, darling. If they come off, fine. Everybody’s happy.’
‘And if they don’t,’ Dulcie concluded ruefully, ‘they’re not.’
By the time they reached the car park it was almost empty. Dulcie gave Bibi a lift home.
‘I’m so glad we’re friends again,’ said Bibi when they pulled up outside her house.
‘So am I.’
Bibi gave her a kiss and opened the passenger door. ‘Now all we have to do is sort you out and cheer you up.’
‘I will cheer up, I promise.’
Dutifully, Dulcie produced a convincing smile. Even admitting she was depressed made her feel bitterly ashamed. Compared with Liza, what the hell did she have to be depressed about?
On her own again in the car, Dulcie switched on the radio. Whitney Houston was belting out:
‘And eye-eye-eye will always love y000ooo0u.’ Vividly Dulcie recalled the party she and Patrick had held at the house a couple of years ago, when all the furniture had been pushed back and everyone had got spectacularly legless on the punch she had concocted. She remembered Bibi and James dancing to this song, this very song. Bibi, her arms thrown around James’s neck, had smiled dreamily up at him and he had bent his dark head and kissed her...
And I, Dulcie recalled with startling clarity, yelled out, ‘Ugh, no lovey-dovey stuff allowed in this house! Less of the snogging if you don’t mind.’
She waited until the song came to an end, drove up to the traffic lights and signalled left.
Then she changed her mind – luckily there were no other cars around – and signalled right instead.
Chapter 53
‘Good grief.’ James looked astonished when he opened his front door. ‘Dulcie. Is something wrong?’
Yes, something’s wrong, thought Dulcie, but not in the way you think.
‘I haven’t wrapped the car round a lamp post, if that’s what you mean. ‘I just needed to talk to you.’ She spoke brightly, as if the last year hadn’t happened. ‘Okay if I come in?’
Bemused, James stood to one side and Dulcie slid past him, heading for the sitting room. The television was on. The coffee table in front of the sofa was littered with Christmas cards, an address book, a half-empty pack of M&S prawn sandwiches and an even emptier tumbler of Scotch.
James’s suit jacket was flung over the back of a chair. He had undone the top button of his green and white striped shirt and loosened his tie. Dulcie watched him spin the top off a bottle of Glenfiddich and refill his glass. He paused and glanced up.
‘Drink?’
‘Better not. I’m driving.’
James frowned slightly.
‘You look terrible.’
About to get indignant Dulcie realised she still had mascara all over her face.
‘Can ‘I use your bathroom?’
He shrugged.
‘Be my guest.’
