‘God, morning sickness!’ Dulcie groaned and clutched her stomach. You didn’t watch as many soaps as she had in her time without becoming something of an expert on the various signs and symptoms of pregnancy. ‘I’ve been throwing up like nobody’s business—’
‘Cravings?’
‘Cravings!’ Dulcie rolled her eyes. ‘Tell me about them! Custard creams, pickled beetroot dunked in chocolate spread, peanut butter and honey sandwiches—’
‘You’ve always eaten those.’
‘I know, but then I just fancied them,’ explained Dulcie. ‘Now I crave them, totally. Morning, noon and night. And cornflakes mashed up with double cream and marmalade.’
‘I read an article in the paper recently,’ Liza went on. ‘Some professor was saying women who crave green olives have boys, and if they go for lemons it’s a girl.’
Dulcie had already decided Liam would prefer a son. To start with, anyway. She patted her stomach and said happily, ‘I’m eating millions of olives. I know it’s going to be a boy.’
Then because Liza and Pru were both still exchanging furtive glances, she wailed, ‘Isn’t anyone going to congratulate me? Come on, I’m having a baby here! Is this exciting or what?’
Pru looked away, pretending to pick a bit of grass off her shirt. Finally Liza spoke.
‘It might be exciting,’ she said drily, ‘if it were true.’
‘But it is true!’
Liza reached across and whipped off Dulcie’s dark glasses. ‘You might be able to do it to everyone else, but you can’t lie to us.’
Oh bugger, so much for subterfuge.
‘Damn.’ Resignedly, Dulcie grabbed her glasses back. ‘How could you tell?’
‘You might be flippant,’ said Liza, smiling at the expression on Dulcie’s face, ‘but even you aren’t that flippant.’
‘Plus,’ Pru added, looking apologetic, ‘if you really were pregnant, you wouldn’t be able to keep it to yourself for an hour, let alone a week.’
‘I made up the bit about the olives, by the way,’ said Liza.
Feeling ganged-up on, Dulcie said nothing. She drank her glass of tonic and pulled a face. At least now the game was up, she could stick some gin in.
‘Sorry.’ Liza was trying not to laugh. ‘What were we, the practice run?’
Dulcie nodded.
‘Thought so. It’s a really sick thing to do, you know.’
Since Liza wasn’t Liam’s greatest fan, this came as something of a shock to Dulcie; it made her sit up a bit. Hang on, was she defending him here? Was she actually on Liam’s side?
‘I thought you’d approve,’ she protested. ‘I’m being responsible, aren’t I? If he’s thrilled, I’ll do it for real. If he isn’t .. . well, then I won’t.’
Pru looked at her.
‘Well, don’t you think it’s a good idea?’ said Dulcie defensively. ‘I’m testing the ground first.
You’d try on a dress, wouldn’t you, before you bought it?’
‘Except we aren’t talking about a dress here,’ said Liza, ‘we’re talking about a baby and that’s a pretty major deception.’ She shook her head. ‘I still think you’re mad.’
‘Some men just need a nudge in the right direction.’ Dulcie hugged her knees; she still thought it was a brilliant idea. ‘Look, how did you really know I was lying?’
‘We know you,’ said Liza with a shrug.
‘Okay, but Liam doesn’t. He’ll believe me, won’t he?’ Dulcie raised her eyebrows, pleading with them to be on her side. ‘So long as you two back me up.’
Pru looked flustered. Subterfuge didn’t come naturally to her.
‘Why don’t you just ask him if he’d like a baby?’ she said with an air of helplessness.
Sometimes Dulcie wondered about Pru. Was she from the real world or not?
‘Because,’ she explained patiently, ‘it just doesn’t work like that.’
* * *
Kit was taking Liza away to the Lake District for the weekend. He picked her up at four o’clock and chucked her case in the back of the Bentley.
‘We’re going to stay at this amazing hotel,’ he told her, ‘surrounded by woodland. The countryside’s fantastic. You’ll love it.’
Liza wondered jealously who he’d taken there before. She wondered how many times he’d been there and how many girls he’d been there with.
‘None,’ said Kit, glancing across at her as they headed for the motorway.
‘What?’
‘In case you were wondering.’
