now believed that they had been Necromancer spies, Alendi under the influence of Kukran Epthel or his kind. And how many where there? I'd said nothing exists in a vacuum but still had no clue how many Necromancers there were. I guessed not so many. If you dilute your knowledge amongst too many there is bound to be dissent. They ruled by fear and intimidation. They did not need to be many. I shrugged it off; I doubted Kukran would tell me, even if I had the opportunity to ask. But the more I thought about it the more it made sense. Sometime I would have to cross the mountains and take a look about Battling Plain and track them down to the last man. If I could get out of here alive.
It was too cold to stay on the balcony. I was shivering, though I knew not all of that was due to the cold. I needed a drink like I had never needed anything in my life. I went back inside and paced the room.
I had taken to going outside several times a day and the guards hated me. Which was good.
I paced around the room, giving them enough time to relax, then went back through the ward. The pain was good. I liked it. It took my mind off the rest of it for a moment or two. I watched the guards stroll casually outside, less of them, and look up at me. I grinned. Shrugged. Looked at the view. Watched the army leave. At least we wouldn't have an army on our doorstep any more, leaving maybe only a thousand or two to worry about. Much better. I began to shiver uncontrollably. It would be impossible for me to express how desperately I wanted a drink. I would have killed for one.
I staggered back into the room and climbed in to the bed clumsily, wrapping myself in the eiderdown and shivering, suddenly drenched in sweat though I was freezing cold. I was going to crack, I knew it. Any time now. The next person who offered me a drink could have my soul. Everything had become disjointed. Time had stopped meaning anything to me. I knew that the shivers would stop, the sweat dry, the nausea would pass, I'd feel a little better, but it didn't matter, the moment stretched into an eternity of need.
It would never go away until I had a drink.
80
I must have fallen asleep because I was suddenly back in the mist. It didn't happen every time, not by a wide margin, and I had begun to lose the ability to tell the difference between sleeping and waking. Unless I was here, in the mist that cleared to show me Jocasta, and my thoughts became more lucid.
“Where are we?”
“Empty warehouse,” she said succinctly. “There are plenty of them. You are going to be moved soon. The order came to prepare to move out.”
“Where to?”
“Meran hasn't been told, just to prepare. They will leave a small garrison here and move on but we don't know where yet. The army is already on the move. It could be any time.”
“Where are the others?”
“They are over there but you won't be able to see them. I'm not really here. I'm over there in the corner, lying on a cot. It's dusty and smelly and I don't like it very much, but there you are. We are working on your idea but there are problems. Illusory spell forms, that was clever. It took me a while to understand but then I got it when I understood why you had mentioned spirits. You can make a form and then change it and they can tell you what it will do.”
“That's it exactly! I think that what they do is just magic by another name. After all, what is magic?”
“It's a good question. One with many answers, depending on who you read or talk to. But I think you are right. There are problems, though.”
“Tell me.”
“Spirits are difficult to understand.” Her brow was wrinkled in thought.
“So Dubaku explained to me.”
“They are cooperating. Dubaku has good relationships with his ancestors. They all have a specialty they have developed to help him but I can't learn what they know, they have no way of showing me.”
“But you are making progress?”
“Yes, yes. It's just hard, and slow. I can't understand their explanations so I'm guessing all the time and they just say no, or yes, but yes isn't always right because if I check by asking the question a different way it's no. Then they explain and I don't understand. It's frustrating. It's not that I don't understand what they are saying but they mean something else and it's obvious that they do mean something else.”
I thought for a while and she let me. I was worried. I wondered if it wouldn't be better if she took this knowledge far away from here. If Kukran got hold of this idea he would abuse it ruthlessly. I already knew what he would do to a spirit to achieve his objective. If he started working on this he would make better progress. I said as much and she started to pace.
“You're right. It's dangerous. I don't think I could hold out under torture but he would have to ask me about it and he doesn't know what to ask. It's almost the same problem with the spirits. They don't understand why I don't understand. It's as though they have forgotten what it is like to be alive, forgotten our perceptions.” She laughed. “It would probably all be so simple to understand if I were dead.”
“Please don't say that.”
“Sorry. I'll try and stay alive. And free. I promise.”
I smiled for her. “And I will try and get free. I might need help though.”
“We are working on it. If they move you we will follow, at a distance.”
“Be careful.”
“And you. I mean…”
“I know what you mean, it's all right. That's a lie. Sorry. It's not all right. I'll be an addict for life even if I do get free. Sure you want to live with that? And the stone,” I touched my forehead. “I keep forgetting the stone. They'll find me.”
“Not if we kill them.”
I nodded, not thinking that I was endorsing a plan. “I need something to teach them. If I crack, I mean. When I crack.”
“I… here.” She hesitated for only a moment before a spell form appeared in the air between us. “An illusory spell form. Brilliant. Why didn't anyone think of it before?”
“Why did anyone not think of anything before?” I said as I studied the shape and movement of it.
“Why not cast the spell several times to teach it? It's what we always did. It works. I only thought of it because, well because I wanted to be sure a spirit would be able to see it. I was just looking at things differently.”
The mists suddenly swirled round me and I was gone, back to dreams that didn't enchant me with their beauty.
81
“Did you catch him?”
I couldn't muster much enthusiasm for the question. I didn't have much enthusiasm for anything. I recognized that I was depressed. Knowing what it was and why didn't help much. Just as I was sometimes restless, agitated, anxious, or suffered from insomnia; I knew why and that a shot or two of booze would fix it. That was the problem. Sometimes the sweating and tremors would make me think I was ill, sometimes I believed it, but I wasn't ill, I was in withdrawal, so I knew it wasn't true. Rationally I knew that they had somehow enhanced the effects; there was no way I had been drinking for long enough to cause this acute a reaction to the absence of alcohol. Enhancing something that's real already, one way or another, is the easiest kind of magic. I guessed they had enhanced the alcohol they had fed me to hasten the changes in my brain, making the withdrawal that much harder.
Larner didn't answer, he never did. But his silence was instructive, the dissatisfaction in it told me they had not. That must burn. I imagined Sapphire appearing from nowhere, killing one or two of them and fading back into
