“You sure? We’ve been working on this new song, and I really wanted you to hear it.” I had to admit, he looked pretty sincere.
“Yeah,” I said. “I’m sorry, I really can’t.” Looking into his eyes was like looking directly at the sun—do it too long and you could go blind. I stared down at the scuffs on my Converse. “Next time, maybe?”
“Sure,” he said. He reached across the counter, but just then the bells on the front door rang and three women walked in. Josh looked like he wanted to say something else, but instead he turned to the customers. “Good afternoon. What can I get for you?” As he ignored me and became all businesslike, I started to realize what had just happened. Josh had asked me out once, and chances were, he wasn’t going to do it again.
Kaylie ordered a coffee and headed for an open table. “Come. Sit.”
“I really do have to—”
Kaylie kicked the chair under the table so it scooted in my direction. “Sit. You at least owe me that for bailing.”
So I sat. Kaylie had been my best friend since the start of school this year—longer than I’d ever been best friends with anyone before. She didn’t ask a lot of questions and always believed my answers, which to me were important qualities for a best friend. I couldn’t afford to blow it, especially now. After what happened to my last “best friend,” I swore I’d never let it happen again.
I’d always been careful before. Whenever I got picked up at the house, I made sure to meet people out front or on the curb. I spent a lot of time waiting outside, but it was worth not having to explain why they couldn’t come in. I should have been waiting at the end of the driveway for Elaina and her mom to pick me up that day. Even though I’d never been able to pull off the slumber party, she and a couple of girls in my class still seemed interested in hanging out with me. I’d fooled myself into thinking they liked me. Instead of waiting at the curb that day, I was in the bathroom trying to get one side of my hair to lie flat like it was supposed to. Once I noticed what time it was, it was too late. Elaina was knocking on the front door before I could even get down the hall. I stood on the other side of the door with my heart racing, trying to figure out what I was going to do.
“Hey, Elaina,” I yelled through the door. “I’ll be out in a sec. I’ll meet you down at the car.”
“Okay,” she yelled back.
I took a deep breath. Close calls always freaked me out. I stood on my side of the door for two whole minutes just to make sure, but when I opened it, Elaina was standing on the other side. Even worse, she slid into the doorway before I could pull it shut.
“You know what?” she said. “I really need to . . .” Her words tapered off as she took a look around the parts of the house that she could see. “I, um, really need to pee.” She looked directly at me with a funny smirk on her face. “Can I use your bathroom?”
“I, uh, it’s broken,” I said, knowing in the pit of my stomach that it was already too late. Our hallway bathroom was covered in mildew, and the shower was filled with papers and bags of clothes, but technically it still worked. She’d have to push her way through the rest of the house to get there, though, and there was no way I was going to make this worse.
“Broken?” Elaina asked, staring at the piles of newspapers that lined the hallway. “How does a bathroom get broken?”
“We’re remodeling.” I tried to block her way into the house, but just then Mom came around the corner and stopped in her tracks at the sight of Elaina on the wrong side of the door.
Her hands flew to her hair, as if having a few hairs out of place was the worst thing we had going. “Oh, hello, dear,” she said. Her voice was shaking and her eyes were darting around the room. “Are you girls going out?”
“I was just telling Elaina that she can’t use the bathroom. Because of the remodel.” I sent Mom messages with my eyes to please, please go along with me. She hated lying, but she hated having people in the house even more.
Mom couldn’t keep her hands still, and they flew around her body like they were possessed. She reached out to touch some of the newspapers and to smooth the cover of a
Elaina took one last look around, memorizing the piles of junk that reached almost to the ceiling. “That’s okay,” she said. “I guess I can wait.”
I grabbed my bag, and all three of us slipped out of the house. I didn’t dare look at Elaina, but Mom cut her eyes at me like she’d never been so angry in her life. I knew she’d blame me for letting Elaina in on purpose, even though I spent all my time trying to keep people away. I was glad I was going out, because then maybe she’d cool off by the time I got home.
Mom followed us down the driveway and plastered on a normal-looking smile as she waved to Elaina’s mom in the driver’s seat. “Hi, Victoria,” she said as she reached the van. “Thanks so much for taking Lucy with you.”
“Oh, it’s no trouble at all,” Elaina’s mom said.
I pulled the back door open and strapped myself into the van. I tried to stare straight ahead and listen to their conversation, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what Elaina had seen. I started to breathe faster and had to will myself to calm down. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as I thought. Maybe Elaina would just think the place was a little messy, is all.
After what seemed like an hour and a half, Mom stepped back from the van with a wave. “All set?” Elaina’s mom asked.
“Yup,” Elaina said as the van pulled away from the curb. She watched out the front window as her mother drove, but kept sneaking glances back at me as she talked. I swear I saw her nose wrinkle just a little. That whole afternoon, Elaina seemed normal but distant. There was no way I was going to bring it up, so we just acted like nothing had happened, and I’d hoped that was the end of it. I found out at school on Monday that it was nowhere near the end of it.
The balled-up piece of notebook paper hit me in the back of the head to the sound of giggling from the back of the room. It landed near my right foot, so I bent down to pick it up. As quietly as I could, I straightened it out in my lap so that I could see the cartoon of what was probably supposed to be me, with boogers dripping down my face and flies buzzing around me. I was sitting on top of a mountain of junk and underneath the whole thing were the
