“Some things go on that nobody ever knows about.”
Chel looked apologetic. “I forgot about Dock.” She drove down Main Street again, past the high school. “I never would’ve made it in a town like this.”
The porch light had been left on. They took off their shoes and tiptoed into the house. Chel used the bathroom first and came out in a Cal T-shirt that hit midthigh. Carolyn went in to brush her teeth. The hall clock chimed once. She heard low voices in the hallway between her bedroom and Charlie’s. When she came out, Charlie stood leaning against his doorjamb, bare-chested, pajama bottoms hanging low on his hips. She caught an odd look on his face before he straightened, wished them both a good night, and closed his door.
Later, the sound of the door opening awakened Carolyn. She saw Chel’s silhouette as she went out, closing the door silently behind her. Maybe she needed to use the bathroom again. Rolling over, Carolyn went back to sleep. Chel slipped carefully back into bed just before the hall clock chimed four. “Are you okay, Chel?”
Chel jumped and let out a soft four-letter word. “I thought you were asleep.”
“How many times have you gotten up tonight?”
“Once.”
“I was giving Charlie a going-away present.”
The hair rose on the back of Carolyn’s neck. “You didn’t-”
“Relax, Caro. I asked him first.” She sounded amused. “He said yes.”
“If my parents ever find out…”
“I’ll tell them I felt it my patriotic duty.”
Carolyn groaned. “You’re insane!”
“Maybe I am.” She gave a bleak laugh. “At least, it gives me a good excuse to do what I want. You should try it sometime.” She turned her back to Carolyn. “We talked, too. We didn’t just-”
“I don’t want to hear what you did with my brother.”
“Are you mad?”
“I don’t know.”
“I like him, Caro. A Marine, no less.” She choked up. “Who would’ve guessed?” She let out her breath. “I’m going back to Berkeley in the morning.”
“I’m not mad, Chel. Maybe I should be, but… you don’t have to go.”
“Yes, I do. You need time with your family. They care about you.”
“Yeah, right.”
“Maybe you can’t see it, but I can. And I’m getting out of the way.”
“They were more interested in what you had to say than anything I’ve ever said.”
“Maybe that’s because you have to be drunk before you’ll open up and talk to anyone.” She raised herself up and peered at Carolyn. “If they didn’t give a squat, they wouldn’t have come home every night or taken you on every vacation. They wouldn’t have moved your grandmother into a cottage next door. So don’t try to tell me they didn’t care.” She warmed to her subject. “They call every few weeks and ask when you’re coming home for a visit. You want to know the last time my dad invited me home? I can’t tell you because I can’t remember. The last time I saw my father face-to-face was more than two years ago.”
“You get letters.”
“His secretary sends a form letter once a month and encloses a check. Money, Caro, that’s what I get from my parents.” Her voice broke. Carolyn could hear her swallow. “Money’s the cheapest, easiest gift anyone can give. If I had a hint my father or mother loved me, I’d-” She sounded angry. She spit out a four-letter word and flopped down again. “I’m going back to Berkeley, and you’re staying here, if for no other reason than this might be the last time you see your brother alive.”
Carolyn could feel her shaking and realized Chel was crying. She’d never seen this side of Chel before, broken, in pain. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to leave.”
“I can’t stand seeing what I’ve missed, Caro, what I’ll never have. What you’ve had all your life and don’t have the sense to appreciate.”
She turned over and Carolyn could tell the conversation was over. She was awake for more than an hour, wondering what would happen in the morning. What would her parents say if they found out what Chel had done? Chel would learn there was no such thing as a
When Carolyn awakened, Chel was gone. So was her duffel bag. Mom sat at the table with a cup of coffee. “Your friend left about an hour ago.”
“Why?” Had Mom or Dad guessed what happened last night and told her to leave?
Mom shrugged. “She didn’t say. She thanked us and said she had to get back to Berkeley.”
Carolyn avoided her gaze. “Is Charlie up yet?”
“I guess he’s sleeping in.”
After the first uncomfortable moments after Charlie got up, the two of them wandered the property, talking about all sorts of things. He’d kept up with friends and filled her in on what they were doing, not that she had ever been part of their group. He talked about the Marine Corps and Vietnam and how much he believed in what he was doing. Maybe he’d stay in and make it a career, but he wasn’t really thinking beyond the years of his enlistment. “How about you, Caro?” When he used Chel’s nickname, she knew her friend was on his mind even if he didn’t bring her up.
The whole family went to church Sunday morning. Charlie wore his uniform. He looked every inch the Marine, fit and confident. Rev. Elias announced to the congregation that Charlie was going to Vietnam. People swarmed Charlie after the service. Everyone said they would be praying for him.
Carolyn decided to skip Monday classes and stay home another day. Surprisingly, Mom and Dad didn’t quibble. Dad pulled out the slide projector, and they enjoyed pictures of trips to the beach and Colorado. That night, Carolyn dreamed of Charlie in dress blues standing in a field of white crosses. Awakening abruptly, she prayed it wasn’t a premonition.
Before leaving on Tuesday morning, she went over to say good-bye to Oma. They talked briefly about Chel. “That girl is headed for trouble.”
“You heard her story, Oma. Despite all the money, she hasn’t had an easy time of it.”
“She can use her parents as an excuse to ruin her life or as a reason to do better. It’s up to her.”
“Is that why you shared so much of your life story with her?”
Oma tipped Carolyn’s chin. “You’d better watch out for yourself,
Carolyn thought that over as Charlie drove her back to Berkeley. They talked about Chel on the way. Carolyn abruptly changed the subject. “I hate the war, Charlie. I’m protesting it.”
His knuckles whitened on the steering wheel. “If Dad hadn’t fought, where would we be now?”
“We’re not talking about World War II and the Nazis.”
“We can’t all stay home hoping things will turn out right.”
“Vietnam isn’t our country.”
“We can’t turn our backs on what’s happening in the world, Carolyn.”
“I don’t care what happens to the world! I care about what happens to
They didn’t say anything more until he pulled up in front of the apartment house. He tugged her hair. “Don’t become a radical.”
“Don’t be a hero!” She burst into tears.
He gathered her into his arms. His voice choked as he tried to reassure her he’d come back in one piece. He set her away from him and got out of the car. He opened the trunk and took out her backpack. Leaning down, he kissed her cheek. “Try to behave yourself.”
Smile dying, he looked at the door into the building. “Tell Chel I’ll write.”
