“She’s on the high school soccer team.” Dawn watched Pam talking to Kim and Pastor Daniel.
“So what was it like?”
“We read about Daniel.” Dawn leaned back as her mother drove out of the parking lot. “There’s a lot more to him than surviving a night in a lion’s den. I felt like such an idiot. Everyone had a Bible. I don’t even know where mine is.”
“I’m sorry they made you feel inferior.”
“No, Mom.” Dawn didn’t want her getting the wrong idea. “It wasn’t like that at all. It’s just that I’ve been going to church with Mitch since second grade, but I don’t know a fraction of what those kids know.”
“Granny and Papa read you Bible stories when you were little, didn’t they?”
“Yeah. Simplified versions with pictures. Pastor Daniel made something written thousands of years ago sound like current events. Rev. Jackson doesn’t exactly light my fire when he preaches.”
“Boots gave me a Bible when I lived with her.”
“Wasn’t she Granny’s friend? the one who died of cancer a few years ago?”
“Yes. She was my friend, too. She’s the one who encouraged my interest in Scripture.”
“I didn’t know you even had a Bible, let alone read one.”
“I didn’t mean to shock you.”
“Well, it’s not like I’ve ever seen you reading it.”
“I have a quiet time every morning. In the privacy of my room, so I can think about what I’m reading.”
“But you never go to church.”
Mom kept her eyes straight ahead.
“Why don’t you?”
Her mother lifted one shoulder and shifted her hands on the steering wheel. “I’m not comfortable in church.”
“Did Boots go?”
“Christmas and Easter. Like me, she felt more at home in AA meetings. We both have the same Higher Power: Jesus.”
“AA isn’t the same as church, Mom.”
“How would you know?”
Dawn hadn’t meant to sound critical. This was the first time her mom had talked to her about anything remotely personal. Dawn didn’t want to ruin it. “Is it?”
“For me, it’s better.” She gave Dawn a bleak smile. “We all know we’re sinners in AA. No one wears a mask.”
Every Wednesday, Dawn hitched a ride to Cornerstone youth group with Pam Preston. After meetings, they hung out until Pastor Daniel locked up and headed home with Kim. Then Dawn piled into Pam’s Honda with Sharon, Linda, and Amy; and they all went to Taco Bell to have sodas and nachos and talk about boys, movies, movie stars, clothes, makeup, and the latest diet craze. Tom Barrett called Dawn for a date. So did Steven Dial. Dawn made excuses, hoping Jason would call. He didn’t. She saw him at youth group, but he didn’t talk to her much.
Pastor Daniel started a new summer study on chastity and talked at length about running from sin and avoiding youthful passions and how rebellion against God led to a ruined life. “Joseph had to run from Potiphar’s wife when she tried to seduce him. Learn from Joseph. God wants you to be pure, and that’s not going to be easy in a world that encourages promiscuity.”
Jason glanced at her once, but she didn’t look back at him. Discussion moved to advertising, movies, music, attitudes at school, the media, new provocative styles of dress.
Jason didn’t come to the next meeting.
“He can’t come for the rest of the summer,” Kim told Dawn. “My dad knows someone at Raley’s, and they helped Jason get a job there. He’s working nights stocking shelves and cleaning floors.”
“Oh. That’s great.” Dawn tried to sound enthusiastic. “So he’s not coming back?”
“Not until school starts. Maybe not then either. He has to save money for college.”
She felt niggling jealousy. She liked Kim. She liked her a lot, but she seemed to know quite a bit about Jason’s private life. “Well, say hi when you see him.”
“I don’t see him. He comes by and talks with my dad.” She gave Dawn a knowing smile. “If you want to see him, you’ll have to come to church.”
“I can’t.”
Kim’s brows went up. “Why not?”
“I promised my mother I’d keep going to Mitch’s church if she let me come to youth group.”
“Oh.” Kim looked sympathetic. “Then I guess you’re going to have to wait five weeks until school starts.” She gave Dawn a curious look. “You said ‘Mitch’s church.’ Doesn’t your mom go with you?”
Dawn shook her head. “No.”
“Why not?”
“I have no idea. My grandmother said she used to go all the time, and then she just quit.”
She couldn’t get Jason out of her mind for the rest of the week. The thought of going through the rest of the summer without so much as a glimpse of him depressed her.
“Why so glum, Pita?” Mitch asked over dinner. “The spaghetti and salad are great. You’re becoming a fine cook.”
Dawn lifted one shoulder and poked at her food. “Doesn’t take a lot of talent to boil noodles, dump Ragu on them, and tear up a head of lettuce.”
He chuckled. “Maybe you need to challenge yourself more. Try some fancy French cuisine tomorrow night.”
She sighed heavily. “Getting through the rest of summer is going to be challenge enough.”
Mom frowned as she lifted her glass of ice water. “Since Christopher won’t go to camp for two weeks, I thought this might be a good time to go down to Merced and see Oma.” She sipped and set her glass down without looking at Dawn. “We’ll be back in plenty of time for camp.”
Christopher’s exuberant mood collapsed. He groaned and launched into excuses. He wanted to play with his friends. He wanted to swim and Oma only had sprinklers. He wanted…
Mom glowered at him. “Be quiet, Christopher.”
Mitch leaned back in his chair. “Why don’t you take Dawn this year?”
“She wants to stay home for the summer.”
“Granny called.” Christopher jumped in again. “She and Papa are coming in to pick Dawn up and take her out to Jenner by the Sea for the weekend.”
Dawn’s heart sank. She’d forgotten all about it. “You could go instead of me. Granny and Papa would love to have you spend a weekend with them. Or a week, for that matter.”
“The beach! Cool!” Christopher turned a bright smile on Mom. “Could I, Mom?”
“No.” Her tone came out flat and hard enough to keep Christopher from asking again. Dawn wondered why it was fine for her to spend an entire summer, but her mother wouldn’t even allow Christopher to spend a night. What sense did that make? They were his grandparents, too, for heaven’s sake.
Mitch spoke up. “Christopher can stay home with me. Take Dawn. You two haven’t had a trip alone together in a long time.” Dawn wanted to snort. They had never been on a trip together. Mitch looked at Christopher. “What do you say we make it men only for a week?” He winked. “Pizza delivery, steak at the Western Boot, rent a dozen movies. We could play some golf. What do you say, buddy? Wanna stick around the hacienda with dear old Dad?”
“Yeah!” Christopher turned to Mom and made prayer hands. He stuck out his lower lip and made it quiver pathetically. “Please, Mom.” Not waiting to see if his playacting worked, he jumped up and wrapped his arms around her neck and kissed her cheek three or four times.
Mitch laughed. “How can you turn the boy down?”
Mom, mouth twitching, rolled her eyes at Mitch. “Okay, Christopher, okay…” She laughed.
Sometimes Dawn felt like an outsider watching the three of them. She was a cuckoo left in a warbler’s
