Her Daughter’s Dream

tablespoon of blood made yellow and black spots dance before her eyes.

It wasn’t her calling. That was the problem. She watched the other nursing students and knew they loved what they were doing, while she dreaded every minute. She felt tense and uncomfortable the moment she stepped into the hospital, afraid she wouldn’t be up to whatever emergency she’d face.

Jason tried to cheer her up. “You should’ve majored in art and interior design.”

Too late now. Mom and Mitch, Christopher, and Granny came down together for Dawn’s graduation. Georgia arrived a day ahead, thought the apartment “stunning,” and accepted the invitation to sleep on the sofa rather than pay for a motel room.

The rest agreed with Georgia. “I think you missed your calling, Pita.”

Great. Just what she needed to hear.

Jason sat proudly in the audience as Dawn received honors for her academic work. He needed another year to finish his engineering degree, especially now that he’d decided to add on a master’s.

Christopher begged Dawn and Jason to come home for the summer. Everyone else joined in. Georgia said Kim and Tom were coming home. “She’s pregnant.”

Dawn couldn’t wait for the day when she and Jason could start a family.

Granny patted Jason’s arm. “You haven’t been out to Jenner since before Papa died.” Dawn felt heat flood her face and lowered her head, hoping no one noticed. Granny rushed on. “You two can stay in the downstairs apartment as long as you like, take drives along the coast, walk on the beach. Spend a week… or a month.”

Mom looked at Dawn. “It’d be nice if you’d spend a few weeks with us, too.”

“Don’t forget you have a mother, Jason.”

Under the table, Jason’s hand slid to Dawn’s thigh. “Nice to be in such demand.” He gave her a teasing smile. “We wouldn’t have to pay rent for two months.”

* * *

Dawn and Jason spent the first two weeks with Georgia. Dawn felt odd the first night, sleeping in Jason’s old bed with Georgia just across the narrow hall. Both tense, they spoke in whispers and barely touched.

After their stay with Georgia, they moved to Alexander Valley to spend time with Mom, Mitch, and Christopher. Christoper jabbered all through the first dinner and left shortly afterward for an overnight at a friend’s house. Dawn insisted on doing the dishes. When the phone rang, Mom answered. Dawn could tell by her shuttered expression Granny was on the other end of the line.

“They just got here… I don’t know. They haven’t said anything. They were over at Georgia’s for two weeks.” She listened for a moment, shoulders drooping. “They have friends to see and things to do… Yes. I know.” She looked at Dawn and mouthed, Granny wants to talk to you.

Dawn dried her hands and took the phone. Mom went into the family room, where Mitch and Jason were watching a golf tournament. Mitch said something, and Mom sat next to him. He draped an arm around her and she leaned into his side.

Granny wanted to know how soon Dawn and Jason were coming to Jenner. Feeling guilty, Dawn said they wouldn’t come for three weeks, at least. So long? Granny didn’t try to cover her disappointment. “I’d like to spend as much time with Mom and Mitch and Christopher as I can, Granny.”

“Oh. Well. Of course, I understand.” Her tone hinted the opposite. “There are three of them to visit with and only one of me.”

Dawn winced with guilt. “We could come out for a visit on Saturday.”

“I’ll fix a nice lunch.”

When Dawn told Jason, Mitch gave her an odd look. Mom kept her focus on the television.

Later that night, Jason slipped his arm around her as they lay in bed. “What’s with your mom and grandmother?”

“I’m not sure, but I think I’m the bone of contention.”

“How so?”

“Mom came home from Haight-Ashbury pregnant. Granny had to give up her nursing career to take care of me.”

“Somehow I don’t think she minded.” He ran a finger over her brow. “Where was your mom while your grandmother was taking care of you?”

“Going to school, working. I think she was trying to piece her life back together.”

“She picked a good man to help her.”

“Mitch picked her. As far as I know, my mother never even went on a date until he rode into town on his motorcycle. He was Uncle Charlie’s best friend. He told me once he’s been in love with Mom since high school.”

“Sounds like someone else I know.” Jason leaned down and kissed her.

When he raised his head, she ran her fingers through his short hair. “Mitch is the only person Mom allows close.” She sighed. “Mothers and daughters should be close, too. I know Mom and Granny love each other, but they can’t talk. I’m not sure who put up the wall first or why. I just wish I knew how to tear it down.”

They curled together like two spoons in a drawer. Jason wrapped his arm around her. “Ask God to do it for you.”

* * *

1993

Everyone came for Jason’s graduation. Jason wore a black cap and gown to receive his bachelor’s and master’s diplomas. Later that same day, he wore his Army uniform with red trim and socks to designate he was an engineer. Dawn had never seen him more handsome.

The past year had been difficult, but she knew harder days were to come.

While Dawn sat silent, Jason told everyone what was coming. He had orders to Fort Sill, Oklahoma, where he’d go through three months of basic infantry training. After that, he’d train with the corps of engineers at Fort Leonard Wood in Missouri. Then he could apply for Airborne, Ranger, or Special Forces training.

Granny jumped in and pressed Dawn with advice to quit her nursing job at the clinic and stay at Jenner until Jason had a duty station.

Mom spoke quietly. “That could be months away.”

Granny looked annoyed. “It’s not easy chasing all over the country. I’ve done it.” She turned to Dawn. “You move into a room somewhere and wait until he has a weekend off. You’ll be lonely and depressed.”

Jason frowned as though that side of things hadn’t even occurred to him until Granny brought it up.

Mom interrupted. “Dawn should decide.”

“I wasn’t saying she shouldn’t. I just think Dawn would be better off spending time with family now.”

Dawn jumped in before things could get worse. “I’ve already decided what I’m going to do.”

Jason looked at her in surprise. “You have?”

“Yes.” She smiled at him, trying to project more confidence than she felt. “Where you go, I go.” She glanced around the table, at Mitch, Mom, Christopher, Granny, and Georgia. “I love all of you very much, but Jason is my husband.”

“But…,” Granny stammered.

“If I have to live in a tent, Granny, it’s all right by me. I belong with Jason.”

A few seconds of silence could feel like an eternity.

“Okay then.” Jason’s eyes shone. He took her hand and kissed it.

Granny’s shoulders slumped. “Thank God there’s no war.”

“What, Hildie?” Mitch grinned down the table. “Dawn might strap on a rifle and follow him into battle?”

Everyone laughed, even Granny, though not as brightly. “I shouldn’t be surprised. Dawn is my granddaughter.” She told the gathering she’d almost enlisted in the nursing corps during World War II, but Trip made her ineligible.

“How’d he do that?” Christopher wanted to know.