“What? Now you’re gonna start after all? What happened to ‘okay’?”
“I’m not pushing you to go see him. Just tell me why you won’t.”
“Because I don’t fuckin’ wanna, okay?!” he barked.
“It might help.”
“Goddammit Rowan! What did…” He shouted the curse then let his voice trail off quickly as he gave me a suspicious look. Raising an eyebrow, he gave his head a quick shake then harrumphed out a half-chuckle. “Yeah. Nice try, white man, but don’t play psychologist with me. My sis’s already got that base covered.”
“I’m not,” I replied then shrugged again and amended the statement. “Okay, well, maybe a little.”
He grunted, “Uh-huh.”
“Okay, so that didn’t work.”
“Nope.” He shook his head. “Got anything else?”
I lied. “Not really.”
“Then, why don’tcha grab a cigar and kick back for a bit?”
“As much as I’d like to, I’m going to need to dig myself out of this hole with Felicity, and I doubt that would help much.”
“You’re prob’ly right.”
“Yeah. Guess I’d better head downstairs.”
“Yeah. Guess you’d better.”
“Well, just so you know,” I offered, “Helen says he’s in bad shape.”
“Yeah,” he mumbled then took a drag on the cigar and allowed the smoke to billow around him. “He was in bad shape this afternoon too.”
“Apparently now he’s worse.”
“Good.”
“He probably won’t make it through the night.”
“Even better.”
While I was used to my friend’s occasional bursts of brutal honesty with regard to his feelings, I was wholly unaccustomed to seeing anyone with this level of animosity toward a parent. Whatever had happened between the two of them went deeper than I wanted to imagine. On top of that, it was obvious from his comment that he and Helen had gone into it more than once, and if she was unable to pull him from the depths, I seriously doubted there was anything I could say that would make a difference.
We sat staring at one another for enough heartbeats that I eventually lost count. He quietly puffed on his cigar, once taking a moment to knock down the ash before returning it to the corner of his mouth. The look in his dark eyes was one of unabashed hatred. The scariest part was that it was not born of an emotional rage; it was cold and brooding, deep and without limit. The feeling was so palpable in the air between us that given my hypersensitivity to emotions, it made me physically ache.
I knew full well that it wasn’t directed toward me, but I fell within its dark swath, and it was a place I knew I simply couldn’t remain for long.
I took a deep breath and cleared my throat. I don’t know exactly why, since I clearly had his full attention, but it seemed like the thing to do, especially since I was preparing to play the hold card I’d lied about. I was about to blindside my friend, and I wasn’t feeling good about it. Unfortunately, I didn’t seem to have any other choice.
“I’m not going to press you on this,” I finally said.
“Smart man,” he replied.
“I do, however, think that you should consider Helen in all of this.”
“Don’t ya’ think I have, Rowan? She made her decision.”
I stood and pushed my hands into the pockets of my jacket then regarded him for another moment. “I believe that you think you have.”
“Whaddaya mean by that?”
I sighed and pressed forward with my plan. “Family is important, Ben. Felicity and I consider you an important part of ours. I want you to know that.”
He nodded. “Yeah. Same here.”
I continued. “I’m serious, Ben. You’re a rare kind of friend. The kind of friend that either one of us would walk through fire for; and, I know you would do the same for either of us.”
“Yeah, I would. That goes without sayin’,” he replied in a confused but serious tone. “So?”
“So, you have other family, my friend. Blood family…”
I pulled my hand out of my pocket and in it was my cell phone.
“Jeezus… Fuck me… Rowan, don’t…”
I had flipped it open and thumbed the speed dial for Helen’s cell while it was still concealed, so I put the device up to my ear. Her strained voice was already coming across the line.
“Rowan? Rowan, are you there?”
“Hold on a second, Helen,” I replied.
I took the couple of short steps toward Ben and laid the phone on the end table next to his chair then looked him in the eyes once again.
I gave him a shallow nod then as I turned to walk out, I said, “I think maybe it’s time you walked through some of that fire for your sister.”
Before I even hit the bottom of the stairs, I could hear that Felicity and Patrick were engaged in an animated conversation. From what I could make out, I had to assume that it was about Gaelic history. I suppose that shouldn’t have been a surprise.
When I came out of the back room, my wife shot me a quick glance over her shoulder.
“Did you convince him to go see his father, then?” she asked, her Celtic brogue heavily underscoring the sentence. I knew she had to be just as exhausted as me, and it wasn’t out of the question that the rum could be playing a part as well. It was hard to say at this point, and the dull throb that was still residing in my own skull wasn’t helping me to reach any conclusions.
“We’ll see,” I replied. “He’s on my cell with Helen right now. Or at least I hope he is.”
“You hope he is?”
“Yeah. Long story.”
“Okay, so what should we do now?” she asked.
“Go home.”
“You don’t want to wait?”
“He’ll either go or he won’t.” I shrugged. “We’ve done all we can do, and I can get my phone back later.”
She considered me in silence for a moment then asked, “How’s your headache?”
“Still there,” I replied. “How’s your drinking problem?”
“Still there.” She echoed my answer.
Without missing a beat, Patrick interjected, “Somehow I don’t think I want to know what the two of you are talking about.”
“You don’t,” we replied almost in unison.
Felicity shook her head and turned back to me. “Aye, let’s just go home. I’ll beat you after I’ve had some sleep.”
CHAPTER 16:
I awakened to the sensation of something soft tickling my cheek, and out of reflex I brushed at it without even opening my eyes. I had no idea how long I’d been lying in the bed. It felt like it had only been a few minutes,
