“Now would really be a good time to come collect your civilian.”
“Oh, man,” Ben moaned. “Is she cuffed?”
“Not yet, but she’s going to be in about thirty seconds.”
“Jeezus, Row… What’s up with her all of a sudden?”
“This place, probably,” I offered. “Like I said, she’s not grounding. See why I didn’t want her in here?”
“Fuck me… You two are a piece a’ work… Man… Go. Go get your wife, and get ‘er outta here before she ends up gettin’ herself arrested.”
“Yeah,” I agreed as I started for the door.
“I’ll get ahold of ya’ later,” he called after me.
I was already heading through the door as his words reached me, but I didn’t waste time to acknowledge them. Across the parking lot, the petite redhead standing toe to toe with a grim-faced cop had instantly become the focus of my full attention.
“I still don’t see why we had to leave,” Felicity announced.
“How about, because I don’t have enough bail money with me,” I returned, having grown tired of trying to calmly explain the downfalls of her behavior to her.
I had barely managed to extract my wife from the confrontation in time to avoid her seeing the world from the back seat of a squad car. After a somewhat embarrassing moment or two, I got her into the passenger seat of her Jeep, and we were on our way. That had been better than ten minutes ago, and she still hadn’t stopped complaining. In fact, she had only gotten worse.
“He wouldn’t have dared arrest me,” she shot back with a haughty air.
“Yeah? Well, I wouldn’t count on it. If I had been him, I would have seriously considered the use of excessive force.”
“Bullshit.”
I ignored the blatant curse, although I thought it odd that she didn’t use Gaelic, as that was her normal language for swearing. Even so, she did occasionally let loose with an American obscenity, so I allowed the curiosity at her choice of words to die on the vine.
“Besides, Albright was going to be there at any minute,” I added.
I knew that even if the officer she was tangling with were willing to forgive and forget, Albright would jump at the chance to toss my wife into a cell. Considering some of their past altercations, I almost believed she hated Felicity even more than she did me.
“Screw that bitch,” she spat in a dismissive tone.
That was epithet number two she had spoken without resorting to her Celtic tongue. The curiosity was suddenly resurrected.
“He was enjoying it almost as much as I was,” she continued. “Then, you had to interrupt.”
“Excuse me?”
“He was getting off,” she stated in no uncertain terms. “So was I. You ruined my fun.”
Now I noticed something else that was peculiar. Even at her most rested and lucid, Felicity had a mild lilt in her voice that betrayed her Irish heritage. But, at this moment in time, that lilt was completely gone, and in fact had been usurped by a slight, but still noticeable, Southern affectation. On top of that, the tone itself had changed; enough so that if I’d been blindfolded, I wouldn’t identify the voice as my wife’s.
“You need to ground,” I instructed. “Right now.”
“I’m grounded.”
“No you aren’t.”
“Hmph.” She tossed her head and shot me a flat gaze. “And just how do you know that I’m not?”
“Easy,” I replied. “You aren’t even you right now.”
“Of course I am.”
“No. No you aren’t. Listen to yourself.”
“Listen to myself what?”
“Your voice,” I insisted. “It’s changed. It’s not even yours.”
“All right. Then who am I?”
“That’s what I’d like to know. So would the police.”
“And why would the police care?”
“Because, I think that right now you are the ethereal reflection of a very sick individual who’s killed at least two men, and I’m sure they’d be all about stopping you… Her… Whatever.”
“Or, maybe this is just a side of me you’ve never seen.”
“No.” I shook my head. “Even if you could explain away everything else, my wife wouldn’t consider it a turn on to argue with a cop.”
“Maybe I would and you just don’t know it.”
“Maybe, but I doubt it.”
“All men want to be dominated by a woman, even you,” she continued unfazed. “It’s the ultimate fantasy of your gender and you know it. It’s as it should be.”
“Role playing is one thing,” I replied. “You’re taking it past that line.”
“That’s because I’m not playing,” she retorted. “I’m serious.”
“I know. That’s another thing that tells me you aren’t yourself at the moment.”
“Like I said, then who am I?”
“You tell me.”
“Guess.”
“We don’t have time for this, Felicity.”
“Wrong.”
“Wrong what?”
“Felicity. Wrong. Not my name.”
“Okay, so I’m correct. You’re channeling someone.”
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” she teased.
“Felicity, stop it right now! Ground and center, please.”
“Oh, okay, you’re right. I’m not myself right now. Would you really like to know who I am?”
“Yes.”
“You, little man, may call me, Mistress,” she replied. “Go ahead, say it. Yes, Mistress.”
I didn’t reply.
Everything caught up with me all at once. My head still hadn’t stopped aching, Agent Drew had been a major annoyance, even Ben was moodier than ever, and those were just for starters. Now, on top of it all, my wife was being driven by an unnatural connection with an insane individual, and she was using me for a practice dummy.
A hard sting suddenly ripped through my jaw as the back of Felicity’s hand struck my face.
“I told you to say ‘yes mistress’, little man. Now do it!”
In that single moment, I’d had my fill.
I looked to the right and noticed a convenience store on the opposite corner of the intersection we were approaching. Instead of continuing through toward home, I immediately downshifted the vehicle and hooked it into the parking lot. The turn was so abrupt that the tires screeched as they skidded against the pavement, and Felicity was pitched sideways against the safety harness.
“What the hell are you doing!” she demanded.
I didn’t respond; instead, I jammed the shift lever hard into gear and gunned the engine. We shot across the paved expanse and came to a halt between the worn lines of a parking space at the front of the building. I shut off the engine and climbed quickly out of the vehicle.
“You answer me dammit!” Felicity barked once again, the Southern drawl becoming thicker by the moment.
I slammed the door and stalked around the front of the Jeep to the passenger side then yanked her door
