and gnawed around the edges.
I felt a thump against the back of my leg but ignored it. A moment later it came again, a bit harder. Through my self-imposed fog, I finally realized it was the toe of Felicity’s tennis shoe. She hadn’t assaulted me with a full- fledged kick, but the force of the second thud told me it wasn’t merely an accident either; it was definitely on purpose and meant to get my attention. I slowly glanced over at her and saw that she was staring at me with more than a little concern in her eyes.
“Rowan?” she said. “Are you okay then?”
Doctor Kingston was speaking almost simultaneously. “Mister Gant, is something wrong?”
“I’m… I’m sorry,” I stuttered in apology, turning back to her. “Sorry… Just… Ummm… What was the question again?”
She gave me a cautious stare and then paraphrased her earlier query, “Should I be concerned that you might experience some sort of life-threatening reaction if I let you go through with this?”
“Well…” I began with a heavy sigh. “I really don’t think it’s anything to worry about in this case…” I forced myself to say the words, even though I didn’t believe a single one of them myself.
“Are you certain?” she pressed. “No offense intended, but you don’t sound particularly convinced.”
I reached up and rubbed my forehead. The onslaught of images set loose by my unrestrained imagination was still ravaging my brain. And now, the endless loop of the vision depicting my battered and emaciated wife was playing over the top of them in vivid, contrasty hues. The acute distress they caused was consuming me in violent waves, and I could no longer maintain the calm charade.
“Mister Gant?”
“I’m sorry,” I told her, shaking my head. “I just… I just…”
“Is something wrong?” she asked.
“What?” I asked. I understood her words, but anything resembling a coherent response escaped me. I looked over at my wife then over to Ben. They were both staring at me with worried expressions.
“You okay, Kemosabe?” my friend asked. “Somethin’ change all of a sudden? You goin’ Twilight Zone?”
Panic set in.
I felt the room starting to close in around me, and my chest tightened as a low hum began pulsing against my eardrums. I glanced quickly between all their faces once again then said, “I’m…I’m sorry. I think…I…I just need to get some air.”
I pushed up from the chair and turned. Then I stumbled around the piece of furniture as I aimed myself at the door. I heard the hollow drone of both Ben and Felicity calling out my name behind me, but I was already putting distance between them and me at an increasingly rapid pace. Less than a half minute later, I was standing in the middle of the parking lot with my eyes closed and the heels of my palms pressed against them while I tried to recapture my breath.
CHAPTER 21
It wasn’t very long before I heard a pair of voices engaged in a hesitant conversation. They were coming from a point that sounded to be several feet behind me, and both of them were just barely audible over the traffic on the nearby highway. However, they were still clear enough for me to recognize as Ben and Felicity.
I knew, of course, that my sudden rush out of the building couldn’t be ignored. So at the very least I’d fully expected my wife to follow after me. The fact that Ben joined her was no big surprise at all. He’d been down this road with me several times himself.
I had only just begun to find my breath, and my heart was still hammering against my ribcage as it threw its frenzied tantrum. The horror projecting inside my skull remained clear and inescapable; it didn’t matter whether my eyes were closed or open. I was honestly beginning to wonder if this was all just another part of Miranda’s plan to remove me as a threat. To torture me into submission by leaning on the weakness I had so blatantly displayed to her over and over again. It was just like something she would do, and she would enjoy every minute of it.
I sensed someone standing next to me and heard a quick series of shuffling noises, but I didn’t open my eyes. I had a good feeling I knew who it was without even looking, and when the light breeze shifted allowing me to catch a hint of familiar perfume, my suspicion was instantly confirmed.
I wasn’t actually ready to talk to anyone just yet, even my wife, but I suspected that soon I wasn’t going to have much choice in the matter. I suppose I could have simply turned and started walking away, but I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to put off the inevitable forever. And running down the road like a madman with a petite redhead in hot pursuit wasn’t going to solve anything for either of us.
Still, right now, I needed to think. Unfortunately, what I needed to think about wasn’t what kept replaying through my mind.
“I’m sorry, honey…” I finally muttered. “Pretty dramatic exit, huh?”
“Aye, I’d give it a weak five,” Felicity answered softly, with an audible shrug in her voice. “Honestly, you were fairly subdued in the drama department.”
“I’m glad you’re able to joke about it,” I said. “Because I’m not.”
“I’m sorry…” she said. “Are you okay then?”
“Not really,” I admitted.
I could hear her measured breathing as she waited for me to embellish upon the comment. After a long pause she reached out and placed her hand softly against my arm and simply held it there. When I still remained quiet, she elected to probe for a more complete answer. “Headache? Voices?”
“No…” I said. “Gods, if only that’s what it was. Then maybe this wouldn’t be happening.”
“What is it then?”
I paused for a moment and then simply said, “This.”
“This?” she asked.
I lowered my hands and opened my eyes. The blurred image of my wife was no more than a foot away, staring back at me with what appeared to be concern and curiosity twisting her face. She gently rubbed her palm against my arm then brought up her other hand and offered me my eyeglasses.
“You dropped these,” she told me. “How they didn’t end up scratched I’ll never know.”
“Thanks,” I muttered, taking them from her and slipping them onto my face.
Her pale countenance came sharply into focus, wide eyes fixed firmly upon mine. The previously fuzzy expression of inquisitive disquiet creasing her face was now crisp and clear.
She waited a moment and then verbally pushed me once again, “You said ‘this.’ What did you mean?”
“This,” I repeated, shaking my head and gesturing back toward the building. “This place. This situation. You. All of it.”
“What about it then?”
I shook my head. “I can’t let you do it, Felicity. I just can’t.”
While she still held concern in her eyes, the curiosity in her face seemed to morph into something resembling slight annoyance. “Aye, Rowan, we just had this conversation. I told you that you cannot make this decision for me. And, we’ve already discussed…”
“I know,” I said, cutting her off. “I know. But, trust me, I have a valid reason.”
“All right then, tell me. I’m listening.”
“It’s not that simple,” I objected.
She sighed heavily. “I’m not someone off the street who’s unaware, Rowan. You aren’t alone in this. I understand… I believe… Talk to me.”
“I know that, honey. But this is…” I let my voice fade as the necessary words hid from me.
“Caorthann,” she urged. “I’m not blind. I know this has something to do with what you’ve been keeping from me… The thing you saw in that last vision that you won’t say. The thing that’s eating away at you.”
“Yeah…” I whispered. “It does.”
“And that’s what I was really after you to tell me this morning,” she added.
“I know you were.”
“Obviously whatever it is you saw has something to do with me… And whatever that is, it terrifies you.”
