And Baby Makes Two

I stood in front of the cups so she couldn’t see me using one old tea bag for both of us. “Really?”

I took down the tin we kept the biscuits in, but there was nothing in it but a handful of crumbs. I couldn’t have done a shop.

“Then maybe next summer we can all go to her parents’ cottage in Suffolk for a week. All on our own,” Shanee went on. “Won’t that be brilliant?”

I could tell that when she said “we” she wasn’t including me. Which was fine. I wouldn’t be able to go anyway. Even if Les didn’t mind – since by then we’d have our own flat and be together – I wasn’t going to be the kind of mother who went off with her friends the way Hilary used to go off with Charley whenever she liked.

I put the mugs on the table. “I think I’m going to teach Shinola to swim in the summer,” I told Shanee. “The baby book says infants can learn to swim painlessly.”

I couldn’t really swim myself. But I liked wearing swimsuits. I wouldn’t mind sitting by the edge of the pool, watching Shinola amaze everybody by being able to swim before she could walk.

“I’ve heard—” Shanee began. But as soon as I sat down Shinola started whingeing and she broke off. “I think she wants her mum,” Shanee finished.

She blew on her tea while I struggled with Shinola. “Anyway, we might even go to France for a day, as well. If they get a car that can go that far.”

Shinola was wide awake by now. I tucked her against my hip so I could more or less hold her steady.

Shanee fished something out of her mug.

“So, what’ve you been up to?” she asked. “I thought you were going to ask me to mind Shinola when you wanted to go out.”

“I don’t really feel like going out,” I lied. I did feel like going out, and Les asked me to go bowling and stuff like that, but he never gave me enough notice to ask Shanee. Not that I was going to admit that to Shanee. She was always probing about Les, as if she didn’t like him or something. Which was really stupid, since she’d never met him. “My domestic side is taking over.” I fished something out of my mug. “Les says he can’t believe I’m pretty and a mother type.”

Shanee smiled. “We’re all going ice-skating on Saturday if you want to come.”

I gave her a look. “With Shinola?”

Shanee shrugged. “I thought maybe Les could look after her for a couple of hours. Give you a break.”

“I don’t need a break,” I said quickly. “I’ve never been happier.” I bounced Shinola on my knee. “As far as I’m concerned, this is what life is all about. Anyway, Saturday’s no good for Les. He’s really busy at weekends.”

Shanee stopped staring into her tea to see what else was in there and stared at me.

“Well, what about Saturday night?” she pushed. “Gerri’s parents are away for the weekend and she’s having a party. Shinola could sleep in one of the bedrooms.”

The thought of being at a party with Shinola was even worse than the thought of being at a party without Les.

“What about New Year? My mum and her new bloke are taking the brats to Wales straight after Christmas and I’m allowed to have some friends over.”

I laughed. “Your mother has a bloke?”

I’d never seen Shanee’s mother with her hair combed, never mind make-up. Who’d be interested in her?

Shanee grinned. “It’s wild, isn’t it? But you know what the best part is? Derek’s a dentist. Can you believe it? They met in an Oxfam shop. They were both after the same jacket.”

I couldn’t believe that a dentist would fall for a woman with four kids whose idea of getting dressed up was to wear a flannel shirt over her T-shirt and jeans.

I sighed. “Christ… Things don’t always turn out like you think they will, do they?”

“Almost never,” said Shanee. “But the point is, that gives you plenty of time to sort out a baby-sitter.” She looked so chuffed you’d think she’d won the lottery. “Derek’s even giving me money for food. Isn’t that excellent?”

“For God’s sake, it’s only November, Shanee. I can’t think that far ahead.” I was barely able to think about tomorrow, I was always so worn out by today.

Shinola’s fist swung out to knock my mug off the table and spill weak but scalding tea over both of us, but I managed to grab her just before she made contact.

“Me and Shinola live one day at a time.”

If you could call it living.

Shanee’s eyes sort of darted around the room. I could tell that she didn’t call it living either, but all she said was, “Well, as far as the rest of the world is concerned, the holiday season has already begun.” She grinned. “Party, party, party… Be there or be square…”

“I don’t know…”

Even though I hadn’t thought about it, I knew I wanted to spend New Year’s Eve with Les. He had a green linen suit he bought in the sales that he wore for special occasions. I hadn’t seen it, but he’d told me all about it. I reckoned I’d get something blue to complement it. Les wouldn’t want to hang out in a council flat with a bunch of teenagers, but maybe we could drop by for half an hour. So everyone could get a good look at him and eat their hearts out. It didn’t matter any more if he found out I was younger than he thought. He was going to find out when we went for our marriage licence anyway, wasn’t he?

“I’ll have to check with Les. He may have other plans.”

Shanee scraped some dried formula from the table with a long purple nail. I’d had to cut all my own nails short so I didn’t stab Shinola.

“I thought Les went to his mother’s for Christmas,” said Shanee. “In Norfolk.”

“Norwich,” I corrected. “But that was last year. This year he may not go.”

He hadn’t actually said he wouldn’t, but I couldn’t believe he’d want to miss his daughter’s first Christmas. Not even if his mother did make the best fruit-cake in Britain.

“Whatever,” said Shanee. “Let me know.”

Now that she’d brought it up, Christmas was stuck in my mind. I had this flash of me and Shinola in identical outfits, sitting around the tree with Les. I could always get a fruit-cake from Marks and Sparks.

“What do you think about me and Shinola dressing alike for Christmas?” I dug my spoon in the sugar and lifted it towards my mug. “I saw this picture in one of the Sundays and the mother and daughter both had the same velvet and lace dresses.”

Shinola squirmed and the sugar went flying.

“I think oilskin might be better,” said Shanee. “Or plastic. Something that’s easy to clean.” She sipped her tea. Carefully. “So…” She smiled encouragingly. “How’s it going?”

“Fine. Everything’s brilliant. It’s bliss having the old cow out of the house. Every day’s a holiday.” I smiled to prove how happy I was. “How about you?”

“Great.” Shanee’s head bobbed up and down. “School’s a lot of work, but I’m enjoying it and it’s going well. And now that Lucy’s got Derek I’ve got more time for myself. That’s why I can take this job.”

“That’s brilliant.”

It was also ironic. It used to be Shanee who could never do anything because she was stuck in the flat helping her mum and I was the one who was always on the go. Now Shanee had more time and I had none. Not even just less but none. I was still holding Shinola’s soppy little fist, but I must’ve squeezed it too hard or something because she started howling.

“I’ll tell you what,” said Shanee. “If you and Les want to go somewhere nice, there’s this really cool restaurant down near Leicester Square. You’d really like it. They’ve got parrots and everything.”

There’d definitely been a lot of changes in Shanee’s life in the last couple of months. The only place she’d ever been at Leicester Square before was the tube.

“Shh…” I hissed at Shinola. “It’s not time for your bottle. Let me and Shanee talk.”

Shanee, who grew up in a house where quiet was when only three people were shouting, kept on talking.

“It was Edna Husser’s birthday,” she informed me. “She took ten of us there for supper.”

I didn’t know who Edna Husser was. She must be new. But I wasn’t all that interested just then. As per usual, Shinola’d decided to give it her all. I’d’ve squeezed her again if it wouldn’t’ve made it worse.