Well, we have plenty of time. Let’s get back to milking this situation for all it is worth.
“One Above All, Lord of Heaven.” And not including Earth there is a nice little goad, all of its own. “I regret to report that Wuffles may have died because his mission was betrayed. The humans were waiting for him with all their weapons loaded and ready.” Yeah, right.
“Betrayal?” Yahweh’s voice thundered and the clouds in the room darkened notably. “There is betrayal in Heaven?”
“I fear this is so. Our most skilled and dedicated inquisitors in the League of the Holy Court have detected a conspiracy of threatening dimensions.”
“Threatening? You say this conspiracy threatens me?” The lightning flashed in sheets across the throne room and a bolt spalled fragments of marble from the walls. In the background, the chief mason sighed and shot an accusing glance at Michael.
“Threatens you? Impossible, Lord-of-All.” Michael-Lan mangled the phrasing just enough so it was slightly unclear whether the concept of a threat or Yahweh himself was impossible. Michael had his own opinions on that subject. “But those who are involved may believe that their feeble activities are indeed a threat to Your Omnipotence. Perhaps this snare was prepared for you long ago by the not-so-Eternal Enemy. Perhaps, in his defeat, he arranged for those of his servants who had not declared for him to carry on with his great design.”
Michael-Lan was slightly surprised, he’d expected a cataclysmic burst of thunder and lightning at that idea but instead Yahweh sat silent and thoughtful on his throne. Could Wuffles getting killed have knocked some sense into him. If it had, perhaps it was time to arrange for some more of his pets to be blown away by the humans. The silence stretched on.
“Perhaps this might well be true. How high does this conspiracy go?”
“The League of the Holy Court does not know, Eternal Father of All. So far, they have identified only the lower ranks of the conspiracy but they are concerned at what they see. It is arranged in cells, each independent of the others and those in one know but few of those in others. They work diligently in uncovering the threat but they must take care for who knows who else is involved? It may even be that the League of the Holy Court itself is not unstained by this treason.”
“Arranged in cells. This does seem like the work of the Morningstar. The late Morningstar.”
And that, boys and girls, is why subversion is so much more productive than insurgency. Michael’s thought had a distinctly gleeful note to it. “Indeed so, Eternal Father.”
“Pursue this, Michael, greatest of my generals, pursue this with care. What other news is there? Do the Americans wail under the lash of Uriel?” There was more than a question built in there.
“Well, they would, if they had reason to. Of course, his first attack was a bit disappointing. A city of nearly two million and he only took thirty thousand souls.”
That did it. At last Michael got his display of multi-colored lightning. A barrage of chips flew off the walls and the various strange creatures that danced attendance on Yahweh dived for cover. “Just thirty thousand? Is Uriel playing with them?”
“Well, One-Above-All, the humans took a pot-shot at him and he left rather hastily. I really don’t think is heart is quite in this you know. Perhaps he has spent too long on Earth and has become fond of the humans.” Michael managed to get the words out without choking with laughter on them.
“I will tear out his heart and eat it!” For a second, Yahweh sounded just like Satan. Then, he got control of himself and the family relationship wasn’t so obvious. “Perhaps he should be brought here to explain himself.”
Not a chance. “Your slightest wish is our most urgent command, One Above All. But Uriel is preparing another attack, this one on the city of San Diego. It also is a city of millions and perhaps he will summon enough courage to make a better job of it this time.” Michael-Lan sighed theatrically. “If only Uriel showed the loyalty and dedication of Wuffles. Still, I would counsel that we allow Uriel to make this new attack and judge him on his success there.”
“Perhaps it is Uriel himself who is at the head of this conspiracy?” Yahweh’s voice was thoughtful.
“Surely not, One Above All, Highest of the High, Ruler of All. Uriel’s loyalty had never been questioned until now. I would swear that his fealty remains untarnished.”
“Nevertheless, instruct the League of the Holy Court to investigate him thoroughly.” Yahweh’s voice dropped and he sounded tired. “These are strange days, Michael, greatest of my generals. The Eternal Enemy, killed by humans. Those same humans defy my commands and reject the answers I give them. They kill my servants and destroy my pets. Are the Bowls of Wrath poured on them?”
“They are, O Highest of the High. The first three have already been poured and caused much grief and lamentation. Soon, the fourth shall be poured,” as soon as I think of a way to do it “And then their anguish shall be multiplied many times over.”
“Is it time for our Legions to overwhelm them?”
Are you out of your tiny little mind? Michael-Lan almost blurted the question out allowed before he managed to stop himself. In any case, he reminded himself that’s a foolish question to which the only reasonable answer is ‘of course’. “Lord of All, the time will surely come and when it does, perhaps your own son should lead them in the victorious march against the humans. The power and the glory shall forever more add lustre to your Holy Name.”
Yahweh settled back and contemplated the prospect of final victory and a triumphant procession through the conquered cities of Earth. Then, he remembered that his beloved Wuffles would not be there to share it with him and grief once more clouded his mind.
Michael looked at him and quietly slipped away. As he left the Throne Room, the Head Mason spoke quietly to him. “Michael-Lan, you’re slipping. We won’t have to replace all the wall surfaces this time. What was that you said about job security?”
“You just wait, the best is yet to come. Once the League of the Holy Court find out who is behind this stupid plot, He’ll go ballistic. Until then, drop down to the club for a drinkie, we’ve got a new angel working there. Name’s Maion, give her a try.”
“Maion eh? I’ll do that.” The mason looked grateful. “What would we do without you Michael-Lan? You’ve made Heaven worth living in.”
DIMO(N) Conference Room, The Pentagon
“So what part did the Succubae play in the Great Celestial War?”
Colonel John Baylor forked up some mushrooms from his plate and savored them. Good portobellos, sauteed with garlic, an excellent accompaniment to lunch. The trouble with being at war was that rationing was slowly creeping across the whole spread of the U.S. economy. First fuel, then vehicles, then anything that needed steel or aluminum. Then food had started to be affected, fish stocks were low and the ration of eight ounces per serving was onerous. It was lucky Indonesia and Vietnam had donated some of the product of their fish farms to the United States or shrimp would be in even shorter supply. Of course, post-war, they’d be using their generosity to lever better trade terms for themselves.
Lugasharmanaska’s teeth ripped at the raw horse’s leg with relish. As an obligate carnivore, she would have been hard-hit by meat rationing so it was fortunate that Succubus taste ran to the toughest, stringiest meat that was available. ‘Unfit for human consumption’ had acquired a whole new meaning, ‘preferred diet for Succubae’. It was an odd thing, as she’d started eating other meat, her craving for human flesh had faded. Now, it was mostly just a memory, except for the odd treat of course.
“Us? We had to find the portals. Remember, most of the fighting that took place in the Great Celestial War was here on Earth. It’s carried in your folk-memories and earliest myths. How many of your stories have scenes of towns besieged by armies of monsters? They’re us.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.” Baylor looked at Luga ripping her meal apart, droplets of blood staining some of the papers in front of her. The stenographer in the corner of the room looked positively ill at the display. Then again, it was lucky that the floor ventilation ducts were working at full blast or one of the humans in the room would have offered Luga a bite out of their arms if she’d asked for one. It was rumored that more than one of Luga’s lovers had left with bite-sized pieces removed from their anatomy. Hence one of the new proverbs that were spreading through the human race. ‘Never have oral sex with a Succubus.’
“It’s near impossible to create a portal from Heaven to Hell. But, it’s easy to create portals from Heaven to Earth and Hell to Earth. So, to get from Hell to Heaven, we have to go by Earth. Or its equivalent. But, it’s quite hard to create a useful portal from Earth to Hell or Earth to Heaven. So, say, Michaellan would create a Heaven-
