Dr Blackwell wanted to give me some idea of the behaviour you’ve been up to. It’s incredible! And this thing about adultery, that it’s okay for married men and single women! You’re just asking for it with something like that!’
‘Personally, I’m against adultery, but there’s a lot of it going on in some of the literature.’
‘Well, skip it! You’re a married man, David! What are you suggesting when you say things like this?’
If I skip Genesis, The Iliad, Agamemnon, Medea, Othello and Hamlet, I’ve lost the course.’
‘Don’t give me this academic freedom bullshit. You know what I’m talking about.’
‘Actually,’ I said, ‘I don’t have a clue.’
Walt Beery called me that evening. What was going on? I told him I didn’t know. He said he had been called over to Affirmative Action and they wanted to know what he could tell them about Mister David Albo. ‘Don’t worry,’ Walt told me, ‘I lied like a villain!’
‘I can’t talk to you, Walt. You’re a witness in the case. The dean told me this morning they’re going to suspend me if I talk to any of the witnesses in this case.’
‘Then you better not talk to anyone. Blackwell has statements from Randy Winston, Norma Olson, Jane Trimble, and Marlene Moss. Oh, and Buddy Elder. Did you screw Denise, you bastard?’
‘I’ve got to go, Walt. I can’t talk about this.’
‘You did! You sly old dog!’ This was the stuff of laughter. I was Walt’s new hero. I had bagged a stripper from The Slipper. Instead of protesting my innocence I simply hung up.
Chapter 7
I got a call on Wednesday from my lawyer. Gail had received a copy of the complaints Johnna Masterson and Denise Conway had filed with Affirmative Action. She thought we should go through them. I had a few hours before my evening class, so we scheduled a late afternoon meeting.
Gail was in her early to mid-forties, I would guess, but they were hard years. She had gotten a bit heavier since Molly and I had first met her, but not from a lack of activity. Gail ran a small office with a couple of para- legals. She specialized in the routine business of lawyering: wills, real estate, divorce, trusts, and the whole gamut of misdemeanour crime. We had met when Molly had inherited Bernard Place. We liked her and started running all our business through her office. Because of the nature of Molly’s profession, there was a considerable amount of routine legal matters, and Gail had become part of our social circle. Gail knew I was a character. She also knew Molly and I were in love.
I found myself sitting on the wrong side of yet another desk, but at least this time I had a partner instead of an opponent on the other side. Gail had photocopied the complaints, each hardly more than half-a-page. I read them and looked up at Gail. ‘They had more than this, all kinds of stuff not mentioned here, including some jokes about homosexual chimps.’
‘Chimps?’
‘Don’t ask.’
‘Tasteless?’
‘Entirely.’
‘Well then maybe over cocktails. Look, these are the complaints. She refuses to provide her notes or any witness statements, so what she has she keeps until they determine if they want to draw up formal charges against you. Right now, it’s an investigation.’
‘What are we going to do about getting these witness statements?’
‘My advice, nothing at all.’ Gail made a dismissing gesture with her hand, indicating the two complaints.
This is what counts, David, and there’s nothing here.
Johnna Masterson says you were talking to another professor about her breasts. Hate to tell you this, but that’s not sexual harassment.’
‘It wasn’t my definition.’
‘Well, if it is, we can jail the whole bunch of you and be done with it.’
‘I didn’t say these things, Gail.’
‘You didn’t say bodacious ta-tas?’
‘Not in the context she’s suggesting.’
‘And when you said to,’ Gail checked the complaint,
‘Buddy Elder that Johnna Masterson had extraordinary talent you didn’t mean… bodacious ta-tas?’
‘She’s got them. There’s no doubt about that, but Buddy Elder knew I was talking about her ability as a writer. Talent has that meaning, too, you know.’
‘Okay. They have absolutely nothing here. They’ll go through the motions of an investigation, and then drop it. Thank you very much. You don’t need me again unless they turn stupid, in which case we sue and win and can both retire from the rat race.’
‘What about the other complaint?’
‘Conway? Conway doesn’t even know what she’s complaining about. You brought up adultery in class.
Is it in the literature?’
‘All over the place.’
‘And you called someone on campus about getting her some work?’
‘She asked. She said she wanted to quit dancing at The Slipper.’
Gail blinked. ‘She’s an exotic dancer and she’s complaining that you complimented her hair?’
‘She asked me what I thought of it.’
Gail shook her head. ‘This isn’t a complaint, David.
This is a piece of paper.’
‘These things are supposed to be confidential, but everyone on campus knows I’m being investigated.’
‘You’ve been harmed by that?’
‘I was going to apply for promotion this year.’
Gail thought about this. She shook her head. ‘Take the hit. Apply next year. It’s not worth the ill-will you’ll garner by filing suit.’
I said nothing, but Gail could see I was upset.
‘How is Molly handling this?’
‘I haven’t told her about it. Actually, I wasn’t planning on bringing it up.’
‘Afraid she’ll think there has to be something to this, a little hanky-panky?’
‘Molly knows better. Look, we don’t talk about what goes on at school because she thinks the whole place is a loony bin and the only reason most of us are working there is it’s cheaper for the state to pay us a salary than keep us locked up in an asylum. She doesn’t want to hear it.’
‘Well, it’s your business, but I’d say it’d be a good idea to at least fill her in on the complaints. Just to be on the safe side.’
‘I’ll talk to her tonight.’
‘Good. Now, when Blackwell interviewed you, were you relatively honest? Hell of a thing if they drop the charges and bring you up for obstructing an investigation.’
‘I was perversely honest, Gail.’
‘Enlighten me. What is perversely honest?’
‘I answered the questions without attempting to discuss the setting or context of my words.’
‘You didn’t try to explain anything?’
‘She didn’t ask. I didn’t offer. What the hell? I didn’t do anything wrong.’
‘Did she record the conversation?’
‘No. She took notes.’
‘Let’s hope she knows what she’s doing and she’s honest. Otherwise, she’ll have you confessing to anything she wants you to.’
Gail looked at her watch. We had been at it for close to thirty minutes. ‘Okay. You’re in to me for a little over three hundred bucks. Let’s leave it at that for now. If they want to talk again, tell them to contact me. Say nothing.
