‘God,’ Mudge said loudly, ‘could you play my friend’s ever-so-pathetic most recent conversation with you back, please?’
Every single fucking time. I had started grinding my teeth since I’d quit smoking. I was doing it now. The recording of my conversation with God started over the car’s speaker system. I began to drive even more erratically. Mudge swore as he spilled vodka all over himself.
When we’d discussed the idea of God and what he should do – always telling the truth, complete transparency – it had seemed like a good idea. No privacy whatsoever was less good. We’d also completely underestimated the annoying uses that Mudge could put God to.
‘So where we going? New Mexico?’ Mudge asked scornfully. The drive through the city-sized convoy had taken a while despite my suicidal speed and manoeuvring. Even then we’d only got clipped a couple of times. On the way out some of the outriding parasites had shown an interest in us. They got less interested after I’d sideswiped a trike into some wreckage.
I’d skidded to a halt on a slight rise in some scrub wasteland looking out over the US border proper. The edge of the Dead Roads. Things didn’t look that much better over there.
‘No,’ I answered tersely, sounding a little childish even to my own ears. I climbed out of the car. Mudge followed. I could see Rannu riding towards us on a powerful dirt bike, his head swathed in a shemagh, dust goggles protecting the black lenses of his cybernetic eyes.
Mudge turned his camera eyes on me. It had taken a long time for me to get use to the way the lenses always seemed to be rotating one way or the other as they found the best focus point. He was a little shorter than my six feet and much thinner, though both of us had a wiry build. There was something weird about his long face, but it was difficult to put your finger on it – he just looked slightly odd. He had two days of sparse blond stubble on his cheeks and his fair hair was a short unkempt mess.
Rannu brought the bike to a halt, kicked the stand down and dismounted. His cargo trousers and black armoured combat jacket were covered in dust from the road. He started to beat the dust off himself, all the while observing around us.
‘What happened – were we compromised?’ he asked.
‘Only by this pussy’s delicate feelings,’ Mudge answered. I could practically hear the squat, powerfully built Nepalese’s eyebrows rising under his goggles.
‘We’re not doing the Wait?’ Rannu asked. Now I could hear the slight undertone of surprise.
‘We’re not,’ I told them.
‘Really?’ Mudge asked. It sounded less like a question and more like an experiment to see how much sarcasm you could pack into a single word. ‘See, they kidnapped me, tortured me, gave me a lethal dose of radiation poisoning and generally made my life a living hell. Not to mention what a fucking whiney burden on my friends I became. Oh no, wait, that wasn’t me. It was fucking you!’
Rannu shifted uncomfortably.
‘You didn’t have to-’ I started.
‘Yes, I fucking did!’ Mudge spat. He seemed overwrought. ‘Because you made me promise!’
‘When I thought I was dying. I’m better now.’
‘My promise to help deal with them still stands,’ Rannu said. He’d finished beating off the dust and had removed his goggles. His eyes, like mine, like most vets’, were matt-black plastic lenses. I sighed and leaned against the car wishing I had a cigarette.
‘I know and I appreciate that.’
‘Then fucking what?!’ Mudge screamed at me.
‘Why aren’t we killing the fascists?’ Rannu asked much more calmly.
‘The what?’ I asked, confused.
‘Their ideology, it’s called fascist or Nazi. It’s pre-FHC. The fucking bad men!’ Mudge explained not very helpfully.
‘We’re on the eve of what could be the biggest human-on-human war since the FHC. This is in part our fault-’ I started.
‘Bullshit. Rolleston and Cronin could call it quits any time they want,’ Mudge pointed out.
‘We have to take responsibility, wasn’t that what you said?’ I asked.
‘You want to go and fight the Black Squadrons?’ Rannu asked. For the first time I realised this held some appeal for Rannu. I’d known I was holding him back by getting his help in dealing with the Wait when I’d thought I’d wanted to. I had thought I was holding him back from returning to his family. It seemed it was something else.
‘No. That’s it. I don’t want to kill any more people. Enough is enough.’
‘Oh, this is bullshit. This was the same song you sang before Atlantis,’ Mudge said, but he was calming down.
‘And we didn’t kill anyone.’
‘We tried damn hard with Rolleston.’
‘Him I’d make an exception for. He needs to die for the general well-being.’
‘So do those fuckers!’ Mudge exploded. Rannu was nodding. ‘Those silly wank-stains want to kill you because your grandmother was from Thailand; they want to kill Rannu because his skin’s a different colour to theirs. For fuck’s sake, we raise the average IQ of the race by putting these cunts out of our misery!’
‘No doubt, but I can’t do it any more. We were so close to an end to it all, so close to peace…’
‘I think we may have to fight some more first,’ Rannu said.
‘Probably, but not me. Don’t you think we’ve done enough?’
‘I think we’ve done a lot. I think we’ll know when we’ve done enough. There will be peace and my children will be free.’
‘I’m sorry, but someone else is going to have to fight this one,’ I said. Rannu nodded. I think he understood but I think he was disappointed as well. I turned to Mudge. ‘Are you going to fight?’
Mudge pointed at the huge dust storm in the distance that was Crawling Town. ‘I just want to kill the arseholes,’ he whined. Rannu and I looked at him. ‘You know me, I’ll shoot it.’ He tapped his camera eyes in a way that put my teeth on edge. ‘And if it gets too hairy…’ He rapped his legs with his knuckles. His cybernetic legs were his pride and joy. He’d paid a lot of money to be able to boast that he was built for speed. ‘I’ll just do a runner.’ He’d always said that. It was all bullshit, he never ran.
‘Vehicle incoming,’ said Rannu, the only one retaining any degree of professionalism.
Mudge and I looked up. Both of us zoomed in on the bizarre vehicle approaching us, which looked like a cross between a six-by-six pickup truck and a hearse. The front passenger side seemed to have been cut away and there was something monstrous and metallic sat there, a little smaller than an exo-armour suit. Through the magnification on my eyes I could make out the brightly coloured glowing veves painted on the side of the vehicle. These were the mystic symbols of Papa Neon’s own brand of Pop Voudun. The truck definitely belonged to the Big Neon Voodoo.
It pulled up next to us in a cloud of toxic dust and dirt. The monstrous thing in the truck’s cutaway cab was Little Baby Neon. Younger brother of Papa Neon, he had traded his soul for cybernetic power until he was a deranged, uncontrollable psychotic. His older brother had, as far as I could tell, effectively lobotomised him in an electronic ritual and turned him into a cyberzombie.
Little Baby Neon climbed out of the pickup/hearse. Actually he more sort of unfolded himself. The suspension looked glad of the relief.
We were sort of friendly with the Big Neon Voodoo, but it was more through Pagan and he wasn’t here. I had one hand in the car, close to where my Benelli assault shotgun scabbard was strapped to the underside of the roof. Mudge was doing likewise with his converted AK-47. Rannu just stood close to where his shotgun/sniper combination weapon was clipped to the dirt bike.
With Little Baby Neon watching us, the pickup/hearse moved round so its back was facing us. Dry-ice smoke started to issue from the back of the vehicle. Mudge glanced at me, his eyebrow raised questioningly. The back doors opened, then the glass roof slid back. A colourfully decorated coffin, adorned with skulls, bones and other grizzly additions, rose up to a nearly vertical position. The front of the coffin swung open.
I started laughing, as did Mudge. I’m pretty sure even Rannu cracked a smile. Papa Neon’s bass laughter joined us. He was a tall man with very dark skin. His weathered features were covered in implanted circuitry that
