I had fought as hard as I could. I even tasted some of Pagan’s blood when I bit into his arm, clean through his subcutaneous armour. I probably did myself more harm than I did to him but it was satisfying to feel his warm blood in my mouth and over my face. They had still managed to get the jack into one of my plugs. Which is of course exactly what I wanted.
It was a new environment. An open airy room in what felt like an old city. The room was high up, looking down a hill at a tangle of ancient streets and alleys, over rooftops and spires. There was a morning breeze but wherever it was supposed to be was obviously a warm country. I heard morning prayer as the sun rose as a burning red ball. I was pretty sure we were in the Middle East somewhere. Or rather we were in a sanctum or some other well-rendered net simulation of a city in the Middle East back on Earth.
Pagan was there in his traditionalist Druidic icon. He looked like a delusional fool in some child’s viz, a romantic, a wishful thinker. Both he and Morag had glyphs of light appearing and disappearing in front of them. It wouldn’t help.
I was sitting on a simple chair at a simple table. There was a glass of water on the table and that was all. Around the table and the chair was a circle of light suspended about six inches off the floor. I’m guessing that this was the containment program.
Idiots. Invading systems was the first trick I learned. I could break through any security. I sent out just a little black tendril of flame. I was going to lock their minds in here. Play with time compression and put them both into a torture loop while I dealt with the others. Then I was going to come back and play with Morag for a while. Until she understood what she was in my presence. The fools had handed themselves to me.
The circle of light flared and stopped the black fire dead. It was my second unpleasant surprise of the day. Black Annis turned back to look at me with a raised eyebrow over the pools of her eyes.
‘Do you think we’re idiots?’ she asked.
‘Well I only have my past experiences to judge you by. The Maoris’ net?’
They said nothing. Where did he get that piece of code? It had to be the aberrations?
‘Still I’m pleased to see you’re alive after we meant so much to each other,’ I told her.
‘That would explain the shooting.’
‘Love hurts, and at the risk of sounding petty you shot me first.’
‘You deserved it.’
‘What, for fucking Fiona? So you mean you’ll shoot me again if I tell you I fucked Josephine?’ I leaned back in the chair and smiled.
Pagan stopped what he was doing. Black Annis looked up at me and unexpectedly smiled.
‘We’re not killing Jakob no matter what stories you make up,’ she told me.
‘I’ll fuck you in the hag form if that’s what you want, but wouldn’t it be better if you’re the sweet little Maiden of Flowers. Don’t pretend you’re not a victim – it doesn’t become you and we both know I’m not lying.’
Pagan looked at Black Annis uncertainly but Black Annis went back to her work, still smiling.
‘She’s better than you, you know? More skilled, more feeling, more impassioned,’ I told her.
‘Should’ve stayed with her then.’ I could hear her teeth grinding together.
‘No, I had to get back here to you. That’s what you wanted to hear, isn’t it? Fear of abandonment. Your sister left; your mother sold you; I left for a quick fuck with some posh bitch. Poor little Morag McGrath.’
Black Annis looked up at me. ‘Do you think you’re the first guy I’ve slept with who’s said bad things to me? Mudge was right: you’re a fucking cliche.’
‘Morag, I’m your wet dream. I am exactly what you want.’ More nails down a blackboard as she laughed. ‘I suspect you are one of the most unwanted people who has ever lived. I think there are back-alley abortions who’ve been more wanted than you.’
‘That’s bullshit,’ Pagan spat at me.
‘Why do you love her? Want her?’ I asked him.
‘She is a valued member of…’ He faltered, realising how weak it sounded.
There was a flash of irritation as Morag glanced at him.
I turned on him. ‘Oh bullshit, Pagan. Why am I the only one telling the truth here? All your mentoring, your paternal care, when you’re not accusing her of being an alien whore of course. Just waiting for the Elektra Complex to kick in, weren’t you, so she could come and play with the daddy who also abandoned her. You don’t care about her. She’s a commodity, a cunt and a beautiful body. That’s all you care about. Just like everyone else.’
‘That’s not-’ Pagan began.
‘Shut up, Pagan,’ Black Annis told him. ‘I don’t need validation. I know who I am and how people feel about me.’
‘So why did I sleep with the Grey Lady?’
‘Because you’re sick.’
‘It was the old weak Jakob who did it, and you know that.’
‘She raped him.’ Black Annis was sounding less sure of herself now.
I just looked at her. She knew the truth.
‘Is the sum purpose of your evil machinations to try and get me to cry?’ she asked. Angrier now.
‘We both know you will. Or rather you would do if you still could, but you’re selling your humanity so you can be more like me, aren’t you?’
‘Fuck you, you’re not human. You’re a computer program someone made up.’
‘Yes.’ I looked at Pagan. ‘He did.’ Bang. Even on the icon guilt was written all over his face. ‘Hi, Dad. Want to abuse the old patriarchal authority with me as well? Actually you’re a great parental figure, aren’t you? How’s God doing? Moping and suicidal last I heard.’
‘I think we should try and ignore him, get on with it,’ Pagan said. He almost sounded like he meant it.
‘Look, I realise you feel like this big all-encompassing evil but really you’re just a bit fucking irritating at the moment,’ Morag told me.
That angered me. She was going to suffer a lot.
‘I’m sorry, darling. What I was trying to say before Daddy dearest interrupted was that it’s okay. Even though you’re shit in bed in comparison with drunk posh girls and assassins, not only will I take you back but I can give you what you want.’ Morag just laughed and shook her head, ropey black hair swinging from side to side as she tried to ignore me. ‘See, I worked it out. You’ve been systematically raped since you were however old you were when Mummy dearest sold you. I mean I know we call it prostitution and we tell ourselves it’s okay because we pay – it’s just like a job, isn’t it – but I know what it was for you. Worse still, you have to pretend you like it for the punter. You must have been good at that because you were in the high-end part of the Forbidden Pleasure, not in the cargo containers working the turnstiles. I guess you just got to like it, didn’t you? That’s why you spread your legs for me and for Ambassador. Open your mind. Open your legs. What’s the difference? It’s just another invasion, another violation, isn’t it, Morag? But I’ll take you back. I’ll use you; I will fucking hurt you so much; I will brutalise you; I will even pimp you out, though I’ll struggle to go lower than an alien and you’ll want me too. I promise you.’ I leaned back smiling.
Both of them were staring at me, anger and hatred obvious on their faces. That was good. Good for them. See if they could embrace it, live pure, free of their hypocrisies and lies.
I was sure it would be Morag. After all, I’d gone to the dark place where we all sometimes live. Well, not me any more. But it was Pagan who broke. Who did what I wanted him to do.
‘Bastaaard!’ I didn’t think it was possible for an icon to look that angry. He really was a very good programmer but weak. That was okay, we could fix him. White lightning played around the tip of his staff. It was an attack that would probably fry most hackers so badly their heads would catch fire, but all it was going to do was break the circle and I would eat their fucking souls.
Black Annis grabbed Pagan before he could activate the attack program and slammed him into the stone wall of the room. Glyphs buzzed around them as she shut down his program. A display of raw power that I’m sure wasn’t lost on Pagan. I was sure that he was so close to being a broken man.
‘If you don’t have the discipline to ignore what are only words, then get out. I’ll finish up.’ It was like listening to rocks grind together as she hissed that at him. I had been so close. ‘That is exactly what he wants. Someone to break the circle.’
He couldn’t face her. What sort of idiot writes the ability to look overcome by anguish into his own icon? They should live large. It’s not like it’s real after all. She let him go and he just seemed to sag against the wall. She
