Susan gave a little hand clap. ‘ Me too!’
I rolled my eyes-enough with the skydiving!
The topic veered to a story Man-ass once read in Chicken Soup for the Soul about a man who at age fifteen made a list of 120 things he wanted to accomplish. (I knew the one he was talking about: I’ d read it myself at my parents’ last Christmas when I ran out of things to do. His list included learning languages, climbing mountains, studying primitive cultures, owning exotic pets, photographing the great sites in nature-things you couldn’ t imagine any one person achieving in a lifetime. I remember remarking to my mom that it said he’ d done most of the things and still managed to get married and have five children. She’ d huffed, ‘ Sure he did, but I’ ll bet he never changed a diaper’ -which surprised me, because my mom’ s rarely cynical.)
‘ What’ s so interesting about June’ s situation,’ Sebastian said, deftly bringing the topic back around to moi, ‘ is that she’ s completing someone else’ s list.’ He turned to me. ‘ What else is on it?’
I named a few off the top of my head. When I got to Eat ice cream in public, Mjorka looked puzzled. She asked, her voice thick with accent, ‘ Do you mean while nude?’
‘ Or while skydiving?’ That was from Man-ass.
I shook my head. ‘ You have to understand. The girl who wrote the list used to be very overweight. In fact, she’ d lost a hundred pounds. So the simple act of eating in public would be-’
‘ You Americans eat too much of the potato chips and of the sugars,’ Mjorka interrupted.
‘ We do love food,’ Hillary said agreeably, patting her ample hips.
‘ You do not love the food. You are afraid of the food. So you eat the garbage. You poison your bodies and become fat and ugly to watch at,’ Mjorka said. Hillary looked stung.
Kip turned to me. ‘ Sebastian told me she’ d recently lost the weight?’ I nodded, and he said, ‘ That’ s so sad. I can’ t imagine what it must be like to be obese your whole life. People are so mean. I’ ll bet that list was her first shot at trying to live a normal life. And then’ -he snapped his fingers-’ gone. She’ ll never have a chance at happiness.’
Um, Kip, I know you meant well, but& ouch.
‘ Why do you all assume that she was miserable?’ Hillary challenged. ‘ There are plenty of large people who lead rich and rewarding lives. They have friends and satisfying careers, and yes, they even find love and get married. Not everyone is obsessed with being model’ -there she cast a disparaging glare toward Mjorka-’ thin. I believe you’ re being incredibly size-ist.’
‘ If she was so happy as you say,’ Mjorka said, ‘ why would she lose the weight then?’
‘ Or make a list,’ Sebastian added.
Hillary snapped, ‘ I have a list, and I’ m a happy person!’ Apparently not at the moment.
In an attempt to smooth emotions, which is one of the things Susan does so well, she said, ‘ That’ s so admirable. What’ s on your list?’
Hillary reddened, and before she could say anything, Mjorka exclaimed, ‘ Ha! You want to no longer be the fat! That is what is on your list!’
At that, Hillary stormed off, Man-ass followed, and Mjorka, oblivious, went off to say hi to someone she knew across the room.
‘ Hey& ‘ Sebastian turned to me. ‘ So how are things going with the list?’
‘ So far, so good.’
‘ Well, you realize you can’ t hog it all to yourself. You promised you’ d let me participate. All I do these days is write, so I need to live vicariously through you.’
‘ It’ s true,’ Kip agreed. ‘ This is the sort of thing he lives for.’
‘ So, June, what have you got for me?’ Sebastian pressed.
Thinking of the one task that seemed to be eluding me the most, I said, ‘ I don’ t suppose you know anyone by the name of Buddy Fitch.’
‘ As a matter of fact, I do!’ he cried.
‘ You do?!’ Ohmygosh, this was incredible! I started jumping around. The search was over! Boy, what were the odds that Sebastian would know-
I stopped. ‘ You were just fucking with me, weren’ t you.’
‘ I didn’ t know you’ d get so worked up. Who is he?’
‘ Beats me. That’ s the problem. There’ s an item that says Make Buddy Fitch pay. But it’ s hard to exact revenge on a person when you have no idea who he is.’
‘ Have you done an Internet check?’ Kip asked.
I caught them up on what I’ d tried so far: scanning the yearbooks, searching on the Internet, talking to Troy, who had called me back to say that the people he’ d talked to had come up empty, too.
‘ Tell you what,’ Sebastian said. ‘ I’ ve got a couple PIs helping me do investigation work for my new book. I’ ll have them do some digging into this Buddy Fitch character.’
‘ Oh, I don’ t want to ask you to do all that.’
‘ No problem. I owe you one.’
That was true; he did. Besides, I didn’ t know where else to turn. It was vital that I find Buddy Fitch. After all, it would be awful to go through all the trouble of racing to finish the list, only to fall one short.
Chapter 8
T he next few weeks passed quickly. To punish me for being assigned the gas giveaway, Lizbeth refused to ease up on any of my usual deadlines-and, in fact, I suspected she was making up extra work to give me. I stayed late at the office most nights trying to juggle everything. I hadn’ t noticed how busy I was until my mom called to talk about a finalist being voted off American Idol and I realized I’ d forgotten to watch. Not the entire season-just a few episodes-but still. (I liken it to those people who get to the end of the day, find they’ re peckish, and remark, ‘ Gee, I forgot to eat!’ That never happens to me, either.)
