The Comforters

‘I don’t,’ Caroline said.

‘Don’t you? Now, why?’

‘Because now I know what they are. I’m on the alert now,’ Caroline said. ‘You see, I really am quite better. Only tired.’ She raised her voice a little, and said, ‘And if anyone’s listening, let them take note.’

Well, well!

‘I bet they feel scared,’ said Laurence quite merrily.

She slipped off her skirt, and slid between the sheets of the divan.

He thought, ‘And yet, she does look better. Almost well again, only tired.’

She was dozing off when he left her; he had to run over to Hampstead to see his mother; she had telephoned to him rather urgently. He promised Caroline to be back in time to take her out to dinner. Before he went he reminded her of the tape-recorder.

‘Don’t forget to press that lever if anything should happen,’ he said. ‘Sure you’ll be all right?’

‘Perfectly O.K.,’ said Caroline drowsily. ‘I could sleep for a fortnight.’

‘Good. Sleep well. And if you want anything, you know, just ring my mother. I’ll be over there myself in about twenty minutes.’

Caroline was very quickly asleep. And even as she slept, she felt herself appreciating her sleep; told herself, this was the best sleep she had had for six months. She told herself to sleep on, for she would wake up presently, and then she would mean business.

At this point in the narrative, it might be as well to state that the characters in this novel are all fictitious, and do not refer to any living persons whatsoever.

Tap-tappity-tap. At this point in the narrative … Caroline sprang up and pressed the lever on the dictaphone. Then she snatched the notebook and pencil which she had placed ready, and took down in shorthand the paragraph above; she did not start to tremble until after the chanting chorus had ended. She lay trembling in the darkening room, and considered the new form of her suffering, now that she was well again and committed to health.

FOUR

There were chrysanthemums and asters in the bowls, chrysanthemums and asters almost discernible on the faded loose upholstery in the drawing-room. They needed to be replaced, but Helena Manders had never replaced them, in order that the Knighthood, which had occurred when the covers were already past their best, should make no difference. The Manders put up with many discomforts so that the Knighthood should make no difference. The fire was lit because of Laurence coming. No fires till November, as a rule.

‘Are you in a hurry?’ Helena said, because now Laurence had arrived and was looking at his watch. He did this because he knew that when his mother wanted to see him about any particular business, she would usually forget the business until he was ready to go, causing him to stay for dinner or to stay the night; or she would forget the business until after he had gone, in which case she would ring him again and he would have to go again.

Laurence did not mind visiting his parents at Hampstead, he even enjoyed going there to stay for meals, or for days and weeks; only this had to be in his own time, when the time was ripe, when the time came round for him to say to himself, ‘I would like to go over to Hampstead.’ When he was summoned there, he couldn’t be bothered greatly.

And so he looked at his watch. He said, ‘I’ve only got an hour. I’m dining with Caroline. I would have brought her, only she’s resting.’

‘How is Caroline?’

‘She says she’s better. I think she is, really.’

‘Do you? And the hallucinations, have they disappeared? Poor girl, she wouldn’t tell me much.’

‘I don’t know,’ said Laurence. ‘I don’t know if she’s better. She says she feels better.’

‘Not going into a nursing home? That would be best.’

‘No. I’m taking her down to Grandmother’s tomorrow, in fact.’

‘I am worried, Laurence.’

She looked worried. Her face had no confidence. There was a ladder in her stocking. She had said she wanted to see him urgently, and within the first five minutes she was coming to the point. There were other signs that she was very worried.

‘I asked you to come, Laurence, because I’m so worried.’ He sat on the arm of her chair, he put his arm round her shoulder, and said, ‘Is it to do with Caroline and me?’

‘No,’ she said.

Laurence got up and poured himself a drink. His mother had not offered him a drink. She was worried.

‘Georgina Hogg came to see me yesterday.’

‘Oh! What did she want?’

‘I don’t know. She told me an extraordinary story. I’m so worried. ‘‘About Caroline? I told you Caroline had left St Philumena’s on Georgina Hogg’s account. Can you blame her?’

‘No, of course not.’

‘You shouldn’t have sent Caroline to that place. You know what Georgina’s like.’

‘Well, Father Jerome agreed —’

‘But he doesn’t know Georgina Hogg. You should never have given her that job. What took you to do that? She’s such a frightful advertisement for the Church.’