A Sentimental Journey Through France and Italy

MONTREUIL.

 The next morning, La Fleur entering upon his employment, I delivered to him the key of my portmanteau, with an inventory of my half a dozen shirts and silk pair of breeches, and bid him fasten all upon the chaise, - get the horses put to, - and desire the landlord to come in with his bill.

C’est un garcon de bonne fortune, said the landlord, pointing through the window to half a dozen wenches who had got round about La Fleur, and were most kindly taking their leave of him, as the postilion was leading out the horses.  La Fleur kissed all their hands round and round again, and thrice he wiped his eyes, and thrice he promised he would bring them all pardons from Rome.

- The young fellow, said the landlord, is beloved by all the town, and there is scarce a corner in Montreuil where the want of him will not be felt: he has but one misfortune in the world, continued he, “he is always in love.” - I am heartily glad of it, said I, - ’twill save me the trouble every night of putting my breeches under my head.  In saying this, I was making not so much La Fleur’s eloge as my own, having been in love with one princess or another almost all my life, and I hope I shall go on so till I die, being firmly persuaded, that if ever I do a mean action, it must be in some interval betwixt one passion and another: whilst this interregnum lasts, I always perceive my heart locked up, - I can scarce find in it to give Misery a sixpence; and therefore I always get out of it as fast as I can - and the moment I am rekindled, I am all generosity and good-will again; and would do anything in the world, either for or with any one, if they will but satisfy me there is no sin in it.

- But in saying this, - sure I am commanding the passion, - not myself.

A FRAGMENT.

 - The town of Abdera, notwithstanding Democritus lived there, trying all the powers of irony and laughter to reclaim it, was the vilest and most profligate town in all Thrace.  What for poisons, conspiracies, and assassinations, - libels, pasquinades, and tumults, there was no going there by day - ’twas worse by night.

Now, when things were at the worst, it came to pass that the Andromeda of Euripides being represented at Abdera, the whole orchestra was delighted with it: but of all the passages which delighted them, nothing operated more upon their imaginations than the tender strokes of nature which the poet had wrought up in that pathetic speech of Perseus, O Cupid, prince of gods and men! &c.  Every man almost spoke pure iambics the next day, and talked of nothing but Perseus his pathetic address, - “O Cupid! prince of gods and men!” - in every street of Abdera, in every house, “O Cupid!  Cupid!” - in every mouth, like the natural notes of some sweet melody which drop from it, whether it will or no, - nothing but “Cupid! Cupid! prince of gods and men!” - The fire caught - and the whole city, like the heart of one man, open’d itself to Love.

No pharmacopolist could sell one grain of hellebore, - not a single armourer had a heart to forge one instrument of death; - Friendship and Virtue met together, and kiss’d each other in the street; the golden age returned, and hung over the town of Abdera - every Abderite took his eaten pipe, and every Abderitish woman left her purple web, and chastely sat her down and listened to the song.

’Twas only in the power, says the Fragment, of the God whose empire extendeth from heaven to earth, and even to the depths of the sea, to have done this.

MONTREUIL.

 When all is ready, and every article is disputed and paid for in the inn, unless you are a little sour’d by the adventure, there is always a matter to compound at the door, before you can get into your chaise; and that is with the sons and daughters of poverty, who surround you.  Let no man say, “Let them go to the devil!” - ’tis a cruel journey to send a few miserables, and they have had sufferings enow without it: I always think it better to take a few sous out in my hand; and I would counsel every gentle traveller to do so likewise: he need not be so exact in setting down his motives for giving them; - They will be registered elsewhere.

For my own part, there is no man gives so little as I do; for few, that I know, have so little to give; but as this was the first public act of my charity in France, I took the more notice of it.

A well-a-way! said I, - I have but eight sous in the world, showing them in my hand, and there are eight poor men and eight poor women for ’em.

A poor tatter’d soul, without a shirt on, instantly withdrew his claim, by retiring two steps out of the circle, and making a disqualifying bow on his part.  Had the whole parterre cried out, Place aux dames, with one voice, it would not have conveyed the sentiment of a deference for the sex with half the effect.

Just Heaven! for what wise reasons hast thou ordered it, that beggary and urbanity, which are at such variance in other countries, should find a way to be at unity in this?

- I insisted upon presenting him with a single sous, merely for his politesse.

A poor little dwarfish brisk fellow, who stood over against me in the circle, putting something first under his arm, which had once been a hat, took his snuff-box out of his pocket, and generously offer’d a pinch on both sides of him: it was a gift of consequence, and modestly declined.  - The poor little fellow pressed it upon them with a nod of welcomeness. - Prenez en - prenez, said he, looking another way; so they each took a pinch. - Pity thy box should ever want one! said I to myself; so I put a couple of sous into it - taking a small pinch out of his box, to enhance their value, as I did it.  He felt the weight of the second obligation more than of the first, - ’twas doing him an honour, - the other was only doing him a charity; - and he made me a bow down to the ground for it.

- Here! said I to an old soldier with one hand, who had been campaigned and worn out to death in the service - here’s a couple of sous for thee. - Vive le Roi! said the old soldier.

I had then but three sous left: so I gave one, simply, pour l’amour de Dieu, which was the footing on which it was begg’d. - The poor woman had a dislocated hip; so it could not be well upon any other motive.

Mon cher et tres-charitable Monsieur. - There’s no opposing this, said I.

Milord Anglois - the very sound was worth the money; - so I gave my last sous for it.  But in the eagerness of giving, I had overlooked a pauvre honteux, who had had no one to ask a sous for him, and who, I believe, would have perished, ere he could have ask’d one for himself: he stood by the chaise a little without the circle, and wiped a tear from a face which I thought had seen better days. - Good God! said I - and I have not one single sous left to give him. - But you have a thousand! cried all the powers of nature, stirring within me; - so I gave him - no matter what - I am ashamed to say how much now, - and was ashamed to think how little, then: so, if the reader can form any conjecture of my disposition, as these two fixed points are given him, he may judge within a livre or two what was the precise sum.

I could afford nothing for the rest, but Dieu vous benisse!

- Et le bon Dieu vous benisse encore, said the old soldier, the dwarf, &c.  The pauvre honteux could say nothing; - he pull’d out a little handkerchief, and wiped his face as he turned away - and I thought he thanked me more than them all.

THE BIDET.

 Having settled all these little matters, I got into my post-chaise with more ease than ever I got into a post- chaise in my life; and La Fleur having got one large jack-boot on the far side of a little bidet, and another on this (for I count nothing of his legs) - he canter’d away before me