Mardock Scramble

The Doctor stared at the door before turning to look at Oeufcoque. “What was that about?” he asked the mouse.

“I don’t know. It looked like she was overjoyed for a moment, but then she was gripped by contradicting emotions—shame and fear. Oh dear. She may be starting to have her doubts as to our usefulness.”

“Are you sure about that? Look at this,” the Doctor said, hoisting the box around toward Oeufcoque to flaunt the poppy-red kiss mark.

“That’s a human trait, isn’t it, Doctor? We can interpret that as a sign of gratitude?”

“Exactly, Oeufcoque. Do you know what? I think she quite likes us.”

The next moment Oeufcoque and the Doctor were up, jumping for joy like a pair of children.

Balot returned to her assigned quarters and locked the door securely.

Both the electric lock and the chain. Then she took out the day’s purchases and lined them up on her desk.

She picked up the Eject Poster and stuck it on the wall.

Resting on the bed, holding her knees to her body, she snarced the projector on and chose some pictures of fossils.

She stared into the air, watching pictures of hundreds of different spiral shells appear and disappear. She tried to fade out of consciousness, project herself into the blank space, just like she always used to.

She couldn’t do it. And she couldn’t stop crying.

It was as if all the day’s events had crept up on her and exploded all at once. As if they’d piled up bit by bit into a mountain before collapsing in a landslide.

She’d run away from the misery of not being able to speak when she wanted to, but before long she started wondering whether this had really been necessary, whether it wasn’t an over-reaction. The thought of this made her tears fall even harder.

She stayed in that position for a long time, but eventually she rose back up, her breathing now sounding like a cold winter wind. She took the lipstick out of her jacket pocket and wrote in big letters on the wall where the endless shells were appearing and disappearing with dizzying speed:

THEY ARE RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.

Then, right below that:

YOU HAVE NOBODY, NOWHERE.

And then again:

THEY ARE RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.

Crying without being able to make a sound was tougher than she’d imagined. Almost all the air in her body seemed to want to escape through the void that was her mouth. Her insides were as hard as steel.

Balot endured. Just as she had endured everything up to now. Pushing her whole body to its limits.

But unlike the previous occasions, she didn’t need to kill herself this time. This much she was sure of.

The fossils swirled across her body and the wall like a whirlpool, floating up, then disappearing.

Why me? The question was now about to get yet another answer.

“There’s one problem, though,” said Oeufcoque. “What’s the definition of love?”

The Doctor pulled away from the water tank and turned toward Oeufcoque with a surprised expression. “Should I interpret this as a sign of a new ego developing, Oeufcoque?”

“No, just a request for information, pure and simple. I think I’m going to have to be able to answer this question with, er, a degree of flexibility.”

“Well, it’s a difficult enough question to answer in any case, particularly when you’re trying to lump all different kinds of love together. There’s familial love, neighborly love, agape—that’s godly love—all sorts,” explained the Doctor.

“Seems complicated. But I’m just asking about the need to be loved,” said Oeufcoque.

“What, you want me to make a female version of you? But you’re unique, a miracle prototype. Even if the army were to resume their program, I’m not sure if we could make a female…”

“Not me, her! I’m talking about Balot!”

“Ah, I see.” The Doctor nodded. But then he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and asked, doubtfully, “By you? You’re saying that she’s looking for something from you?”

“She’s looking for foundation, for some sort of emotional stability… I’m guessing that’s the best way of explaining it. According to my intuition—my nose—she’s got all these qualities, these needs. Because she’s never been in a decent environment. To survive in the world that she’s been living in, she’s needed some sort of foundation, or stability. And she calls this love.”

“Oh, I know all too well how sharp your nose is,” interjected the Doctor. “Within the team responsible for you, most of the researchers feared you from the bottom of their souls. They were afraid that you’d show up all their inadequacies. You’d analyze people as if they were nothing more than the sum of their chemical parts.”

“You’re talking about a long time ago, Doc. That was then and this is now. I know a lot more now than I used to.”

“I’m sure. So, what exactly is it that you’re trying to say, Oeufcoque?”

“I want to protect the girl. But I’m not sure what more I should be doing.”

“Well, I know what you should be doing. But I don’t know what the right thing is,” said the Doctor.

“It’s as if she’s trying to treat me like a human.”

“I didn’t realize that this wasn’t what you wanted, Oeufcoque. I treat you like a human, and so did your former partners. It’s just what happens naturally.”

“It’s different, though. Something’s different from what happened before. Something’s changing inside me. She’s made the decision to appear in the courtroom, and that’s fine. But it makes me feel terrible, as if I’d done something inexcusable.”

“Hmm.” The Doctor looked Oeufcoque up and down as if he were inspecting some rare specimen.

“I think I should try to be drier, more detached,” continued Oeufcoque.

“Uh-huh,” the Doctor mumbled, and then continued, sympathetically, “but that’s not really who you are, is it?”

He spoke with a serious expression. Oeufcoque rolled over on the desk onto his side and sighed deeply. His little body seemed to wilt, and he looked smaller than ever.

Chapter 3

CRANK-UP

01

The Stairway to Heaven shone, dazzling, beautiful in the morning sun. The spiral stairway—the unofficial symbol of Mardock City—wound round in three circles before stopping cleanly in midair, an unfinished monument that was designed to be just so.

Symbols of Jupiter—the planet of the king of gods—were carved into its outer edge, and every part of the handrail and supporting pillar was ornamented with scenes from the myths.