He looks at me strangely.
?What do you mean, it was you??
I am very hot and uncomfortable.
?It was me who took the disk.? I?ll leave the money issue to one side for now. I mean, David doesn?t need to know that, right?
David?s face is deathly white. I can feel my skin go all prickly and I feel like I?m somewhere else watching this episode played out by a body double. It?s far too awful to be really happening.
?Don?t be ridiculous,? he says in a strangled voice. ?How could it be you??
?Mike told me you were trying to frame him because you were jealous. I thought you might get into trouble. Mike told me that you?d do anything to stop him being a success, and I didn?t want your firm to find out . . .?
David takes in a sharp breath and doesn?t say anything for a couple of minutes. Then his eyes narrow. He looks up at the ceiling as if he?s trying to count to ten before saying anything.
?You took the disk??
I nod glumly.
?And you still have it??
I shake my head, even more glumly.
?Where the fuck is it?
?I sent it to him.?
?You sent it to him.? I don?t think it?s a question, so I don?t answer. It?s like when I used to be bollocked by a teacher at school. Saying anything just works against you. Better to stay silent and stare at the floor. I look up quickly to see David?s expression. His face has blackened. I don?t think I?ve ever seen him so angry.
?You stupid, stupid girl.?
He is almost shuddering with rage. My nails are digging into my palms as I fight to remain calm.
?You do realize what you?ve done??
I look back down at my plate.
?Mike said you were fabricating evidence against him, said you were jealous of him . . .? I trail off. It all sounds so implausible now. I can?t believe I was stupid enough to believe him.
?He said I was jealous of him.?
I almost think David is going to start laughing, that we can start joking about how stupid I?ve been, but then I see that his eyes are still flashing with anger.
?I told you not to talk to him. I asked you not to have any contact with him. And instead, you merrily let him feed you a whole load of bullshit, which you believed. You believed that fucking prick and thought that you would wreck the bloody case, wreck my career, and probably wreck my entire life. Just who the fuck do you think you are, Georgie??
I fight hard to keep tears from pricking my eyes.
?It?ll be okay, though, won?t it?? I look beseechingly at David, desperately hoping that there will be a solution, a way out. ?I?ll tell your employers what I did. They?ll understand, won?t they??
David?s eyes are cold and hard.
?You do realize what you?ve done, don?t you? It?s called aiding and abetting. It?s illegal, you know. If you tell the police that you stole a disk from me, they probably won?t believe you, and if they do, you?ll be the one with a criminal record.?
He puts his head in his hands.
?Of all the people. I just can?t believe it was you.?
A huge lump has been developing in my throat for the past ten minutes and I know that within about thirty seconds big fat tears will be cascading down my cheeks. I can?t bear to cry in front of David, can?t bear for him to see how utterly pathetic I am. I have doubted and betrayed him and he might even go to prison, and it is all completely my fault. Everything.
Grabbing my bag, I stand up and run out of the restaurant. Outside, I crumple on the pavement, ignoring concerned passersby as I bawl my eyes out. My throat is hurting, my eyes are red and raw, and still the tears come. David is right. I am a stupid, stupid girl and I don?t deserve him. I suppose there is some justice in the world after all?after what I?ve done, he?ll never want to see me again.
I manage to stand up and start walking down the street toward Green Park Tube station. The last thing I want now is for David to leave the restaurant and find me wailing on the pavement. I can barely walk straight, but I need to get home and work out a plan. Somehow I have got to get David out of trouble. And somehow I have got to make sure that Mike pays for what he has done. My mind racing, I hail a cab. Once I?m sitting down, I have another thought, and I reach for my mobile phone.
My mother is waiting for me at the door as the cab pulls up. ?You look a mess,? she says matter-of-factly as she gives me a perfunctory hug and leads me into the kitchen where a hot cup of tea is waiting. ?I would have preferred wine, but I know what you and David are like when it comes to tea,? she explains.
At the mention of his name I nearly start crying again, but I don?t seem to have any tears left. I sit down, and wait for her to join me. And then I tell her everything.
I tell her about Rome, about seeing David with his colleague and how I thought he might have been having an affair. I tell her about Mike, about Candy and the baby. I tell her about David at the restaurant, about the police. It takes about an hour, and by the end I feel almost purged.
