used to, but I don’t do it anymore unless it means something.”
“I know.” Lily looked at Jack, vulnerable in her underwear. She felt like she should say something else, but she couldn’t find the words.
Jack zipped up her coveralls. “I’ll walk you to the door.”
Downstairs, they kissed good night in the same place where earlier kisses had begun their evening.
“Wait. Don’t go yet.” Jack disappeared into the kitchen for a moment. When she came back, she pressed something soft and round into Lily’s hand. “Eat it when you wake up in the morning, and think about me.”
In her car, in the dark, Lily stroked the soft skin of the peach and smiled.
CHAPTER 18
The hearing was tomorrow. Lily couldn’t sit still for a second. She paced around the house like a caged panther, rehearsing the lines she and Buzz Dobson had gone over, making sure her outfit for the next day wasn’t wrinkled. She felt like an actress preparing for opening night of a play, except that if the play bombed, her life and her daughter’s life would be permanently damaged.
Even Ben, who had been discounting all of Lily’s fears about the hearing, was showing signs of nervousness. He kept riffling through the suits and ties in his closet. If he was going to try to pass himself off as heterosexual, he couldn’t be too well dressed.
Granny McGilly had taken Mimi out for a few hours this afternoon, on the theory that Ben and Lily needed some grown-up time to collect themselves. Granny McGilly also wanted Mimi to get used to spending time with her, since she was serving as babysitter during the hearing.
For their grown-up time, Lily and Ben had invited Jack and Ken to come over—to comfort them in their time of hysteria. At first Lily had been wary about inviting the two of them over so much, but Ben assured her she had nothing to fear: In Faulkner County, the rumor was that Lily and Ben were playing matchmaker for the bachelor professor and old-maid veterinarian. Once again, Lily found herself marveling at the obliviousness of straight people.
As they waited for Ken and Jack to arrive, Ben sat on the couch and Lily paced the length of the living room. “Could you just light for a minute?” Ben asked. “I feel like I’m living with a giant hummingbird.”
Lily forced herself to sit in the armchair. Her knees bent, but her body didn’t relax. “We were insane to think we could pull this off. We should’ve stayed in Atlanta and fought this honestly.”
“I still like our chances here. And besides, if we hadn’t come back to Versailles, I never would’ve run into Ken, and you never would’ve met Jack. Who’d have thought a sham marriage would put us in a situation where we’d both fall in love?”
“Hey, you fell in love, buddy. I’ve never said anything about being in love.”
Ben rolled his eyes. “Well, no, you’ve never said anything, but I have a sneaking suspicion that you and Dr. Jack have been doing more than trotting off to farms and giving pigs enemas.” He leaned forward. “I saw your face when you came home the other night, Mrs. McGilly. I know the face of an adulterous wife when I see one.”
Lily smiled and shook her head. Jack had been a comfort to her since the moment she met her — a remarkable friend and, as of the other night, a remarkable bedmate. But she couldn’t just pretend the years she had with Charlotte didn’t exist, couldn’t just climb up the ladder and dive into another relationship ...
not so soon. “I still love Charlotte, Ben.”
“Of course you do. And I never stopped loving Dez. Even after we weren’t lovers anymore, I still loved him. And now that he’s dead, I still love him. I don’t have to stop loving Dez
