him feel, as all felt, very exposed. He cleared reception with biometrics and with a glance to the two false lifts made his way through the ‘real’ entrance. He took the lift to the floor with Jack’s office on it. Else Patrick was in the waiting area. She rose from the seat.
“David I’m Else Patrick.”
“Hello. I take I’ve been called back for a chat.”
“You could call it that. My Office is on this floor. Come with me.”
They made their way along a corridor and she held a door open for him. It was an innocuous enough room, comfortable and friendly. There was no table and no other furniture than two soft arm chairs. David sat down and Else sat opposite.
“Where do we begin?” David asked.
“How has your appetite been?”
“Fine, really.”
“You look like you keep healthy, anyway. How have you been sleeping?”
“Not well. I had a bad dream too.”
“You had a bad dream? Have you had bad dreams before?”
“When I was very small, yes.”
“What were they about?”
“As far as I remember they were mostly about my dad, being hurt, he was a soldier you see.”
“I see and this current dream?”
David told her the dream. She took no notes and watched him intensely. When he was finished she spoke.
“You had to be the man of the house when your father was away. It’s a burden for a boy, especially an only child. You feel the need to protect people quite a lot and express it through your work, public service with customs and now this. You took on the responsibility, by coming here today, for the capture of Stanton. It’s natural and in your nature now to be a protector. The dream indicates that you feel you are failing, not able to protect. Your father represents the protecting parent.”
“My wife said that.”
“You told her the dream.”
“Yes.”
“That’s good. Are you able to talk to her, as much as the job allows, about what’s bothering you?”
“Yes she’s very supportive.”
“Good.”
“How do you feel about the assassins?”
“I can’t believe they have such a careless attitude towards human life.”
“How did you feel when Stanton had been in your house?”
“At the time, well at first fear, then anger and when I got the upper hand, the job kicked in and I tried to take him alive.”
“Did you want to kill him?”
“Not then, at that moment when I had the gun in my hand, but afterwards I was angry. He’d invaded our house. My wife is pregnant, I was very angry.”
“How do you feel about Wheeler?”
“I feel quite at ease now. I had guilt, nausea and then I felt relieved I was alive.”
“That’s natural. Has the incident with Stanton changed your feelings about Wheeler?”
“No. It’s changed my view of killing though.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well before I thought I couldn’t have done it, but then when I had to shoot I did and I felt awful afterwards, but I know that I can now, but I also know I have a choice. I don’t have to kill, but I can if I need to.”
“If you come across Stanton will you kill him?”
“Only if I have to.”
“You don’t want revenge for the invasion of your home?”
“No that was business on his part. No if we end up face to face and he’s going to kill me then I’ll get in first.”
“Kill or be killed?”
“That’d be it. That’s what it’s about. In this job, at the moment it boils down to kill or be killed. Stanton, Wheeler and the rest they kill first. I’ll only kill if they try to kill me or anyone else.”
“That’s healthy. Did you cry at all?”
“Yes when I got home and saw my wife and son.”
“Good. Take moments to grieve and don’t lose touch with yourself. I can see that you might get stressed from trying to protect too many people. You can’t protect everyone and you aren’t responsible for every bad thing that happens as a result of these men or any other trouble makers.”
“What about those who are responsible?”
“What do you mean?”
“Someone brought those men here and set them loose. It might be a man called Sternway, what about protecting people from him?”
“That’s a different job, but if you can bring the people behind this to justice will it make you feel better?”
“A little, but what’s done is done and can’t be undone, it won’t bring the dead back.”
“Would you like the person responsible for this to suffer?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
“I don’t know. To feel what I feel, to feel as those families do, the ones left behind.”
“It would be good if they did, they seldom do.”
“How do I stop my anger about that when all of this is done?”
“Perhaps a chance to confront them if you catch them, make them realise, feel that pain, but you won’t get the chance. When this job is done you can come and see me and we’ll confront the anger you have at those responsible. It’s a noble sentiment, idealistic, but dangerous to become motivated by thoughts like that. Check your feelings when you continue and finish this chase.”
“Thank you. Is that it?”
“No I’d like you to describe every event in the last few days where you feel you have not had control, how you dealt with it and how you felt afterwards.”
Half an hour later David left the room. He felt better, cleaner and less tired in spirit. He went and got a cup of tea and then went to his office. There had been no sighting of Stanton at the hotels or the Priory Arms.
Else sat in Jack Fulton’s office.
“Nothing to be overly worried about, he’s coped well, but the stress has brought a certain protective anger to the surface. His father was in the army and as the only child at home, he got to be man of the house. He’s been well loved. His mother died some years back and he’s grieved well, but… well he feels the need to see justice done. He has a problem, not with the assassins, that’s a black and white issue, but he’s got good solid working class anger against the uncaring attitude of those higher up that chain.”
“That’s not so bad. Idealism is good if you’re going to be heroic.”
“If anger against injustice is what drives that idealism it can turn to zeal and zeal can lead to ill considered actions.”
“Should I send him home?”
“No you brought him her, best use him, he’s a good man, best for this job by what I can see, just watch him when Stanton's in the bag or dead. He may want to crusade against the evil doers behind it.”
“Okay thanks Else.”
Else left and Fulton sat back. He felt the same way though. He’d lost a good friend, Cobb was dead, but he didn’t feel better. He felt in his bones that Sternway was behind it and he felt anger and zeal at the thought of getting justice for Wally’s death, especially if it meant Sternway’s downfall. He applied Else’s warning to his own situation.
