DRAGON KING. Pull handle to ring bell.' On the line below, someone had added in neat letters printed in bright red paint, 'ABSOLUTELY No wizards, sales-people, or rescuers. This means YOU.'
Mendanbar stared at the sign for a minute and began to smile. No wonder Zemenar didn't like Kazul's princess. Well, he wasn't a wizard, he wasn't selling anything, and he certainly didn't want to rescue anybody. He gave the handle a pull.
Somewhere inside the cave, a bell rang. 'Well, it's about time,' said a woman's voice, and Mendanbar's heart sank. He heard footsteps coming toward the mouth of the cave, and the same voice continued, 'I was hoping you'd get here before I left. The sink is-' The speaker came out of the cave, took a look at Mendanbar, and broke off in mid-sentence. 'Oh, no, not another one,' she said.
Mendanbar stared at her in utter bafflement. If this was a princess, she was like no princess he had ever seen, and he had seen dozens.
True, she had a small gold crown pinned into her hair, and she was very pretty-beautiful, in fact-but she was wearing a blue-and-white checked apron with large pockets. Mendanbar had never seen a princess in an apron before.
The dress under the apron was rust-colored and practical-looking, and she had the sleeves rolled up above her elbows. He had never seen a princess with her sleeves rolled up, either. Her jet black hair hung in plain braids almost to her knees, instead of making a cloud of curls around her face. Her eyes were black, too, and she was as tall as Mendanbar.
'Well?' she said in an exasperated tone. 'Are you going to stand there like a lump, or are you going to tell me what you want? Although I think I already know.'
'Excuse me,' Mendanbar said. He pulled himself together and bowed uncertainly. 'I think there's been some sort of mistake. I'm looking for Kazul, the King of the Dragons.'
'I'll bet you are,' the young woman muttered. 'Well, you can't have her. I handle my own knights and princes.'
'I beg your pardon?' Mendanbar said, blinking. He was beginning to think the mistake was his. This young woman didn't look like a princess (except for the crown), she didn't act like a princess, and she didn't talk like a princess. But if she wasn't a princess, what was she doing here?
'I handle my own knights,' she repeated. 'You see, I don't want to be rescued, and it would be silly for someone to get hurt fighting Kazul when I intend to stay here no matter what happens. Besides, Kazul has enough to do being King of the Dragons without people interrupting her to fight for no reason.'
'You really are Kazul's princess'-what had Zemenar said her name was? Oh, yes – 'Cimorene?'
'Yes, of course. Look, I haven't got time to argue about this, not today.
Could you please go away and come back in, oh, a week or so, when things are a little more settled? Or I can direct you to a more cooperative princess, if you'd rather not wait. Marchak has a very nice one just now, and he lives quite close by.'
'No, I'm afraid not,' Mendanbar said. He was beginning to think Willin had been right to say he should wait for a formal audience. 'You see, I didn't come to rescue you, or anybody. I'm the King of the Enchanted Forest, and I really did come to talk to Kazul. And it's urgent. So-' 'Oh, drat,' said Cimorene. 'Are you sure it can't wait? Kazul isn't here right now.'
'I'll wait for her,' Mendanbar said with polite firmness. 'As I said, the matter is urgent.'
Cimorene frowned suddenly. 'Did you say you were the King of the Enchanted Forest?'
Mendanbar nodded. 'My name is Mendanbar.'
'Just why is it that you're so eager to see Kazul, Your Majesty?'
Cimorene said suspiciously.
'I ran across a… problem in the Enchanted Forest this morning,' Mendanbar replied, choosing his words with care. 'A witch named Morwen advised me to talk to the King of the Dragons about it.'
'Morwen sent you?' Cimorene looked surprised, then thoughtful. 'It must be all right, then. Come in and sit down, and I'll see if I can explain.'
'As you wish, Princess,' Mendanbar said, bowing.
'Just call me Cimorene,' she said, leading Mendanbar into the cave.
She bent to pick up a lantern from the floor inside the entrance and added, 'My official title now is Chief Cook and Librarian, so I've gotten out of the habit of being called 'Princess'.'
'Chief Cook and Librarian?' Mendanbar said curiously. 'How did that happen?'
'Kazul and I decided on it between us after she became King of the Dragons last year,' Cimorene said. 'You see, the King of the Dragons doesn't usually have a princess, and we didn't want the other dragons grumbling about Kazul breaking with tradition. I was hoping it would discourage the knights a bit, too.'
'Oh?'
'Well, it doesn't sound particularly noble and knightly to say you've rescued the Chief Cook and Librarian, does it? And it has cut down on the number of interruptions. I used to get two or three knights a day, and now there's only about one a week. And the ones who do come are at least smart enough to figure out that I'm still a princess even if the dragons call me Chief Cook.'
'Doesn't that make them harder to get rid of?.'
'Not at all. The smart ones listen when I argue with them. The stupid ones think I'm kidding. I had to offer to fight a couple of them myself before I could get them to go away.'
Mendanbar peered doubtfully at Cimorene in the dim lantern-light.
She didn't look as if she were joking. 'You actually offered to fight a knight?'
'Four of them,' Cimorene said, nodding. and a prince. It was the only way to convince them.' She looked at Mendanbar uncertainly. 'I'm sorry if I behaved badly to you at first, but I really did think you were here to rescue me. It's the crown.' She pointed to the circlet on his head. 'You wouldn't believe the trouble I've had with some of the princes. Being rude is the only way to get rid of them in a hurry, and sometimes even that doesn't work. Especially if they're particularly stupid.'
'I understand,' Mendanbar said without thinking. 'They sound a lot like princesses-stubborn, witless, and-' He stopped short in dismay.
He'd forgotten for a moment that Cimorene was a princess, too. He hoped she wouldn't be insulted.
Fortunately, Cimorene didn't seem insulted at all. She nodded.
'Exactly.
That's why I send the knights and princes on to rescue other princesses.
They mostly deserve each other. Of course, I do try to make sure I send the nicest knights to the nicest princesses. They can't help it if they're silly,' They had reached a side opening, and Cimorene hesitated. Then she shrugged and went in. 'The kitchen's a mess today,' she said over her shoulder, 'but even when it's messy, it's more comfortable for human-type people than the big caves where the dragons go to chat. I can make tea, too, if you'd like some.'
Before he could answer, Mendanbar emerged from the side tunnel into a large, well-lit cavern. An enormous black stove took up half of one wall, and the other walls were lined with tall wooden cupboards. A stone sink next to the door was filled to the brim with scummy gray water, and the shelf next to it was overflowing with dirty dishes. In the middle of the floor stood a large wooden table and three mismatched chairs.
'Tea sounds good,' Mendanbar said, politely ignoring the dishes.
Cimorene scowled at the sink and began rummaging through the cupboards.
'Do you mind having your tea in a wine glass? I know it's a little strange, but I'm afraid all the cups are dirty. The sink has been plugged up for nearly a week, and I haven't been able to do the dishes.'
'I don't mind,' Mendanbar said. 'But you'll have to do something about that sink sooner or later, you know.'
'I've tried,' Cimorene said in an irritated tone. 'Do you have any idea how hard it is to persuade a plumber to come look at a dragon's sink? I thought I'd finally found one, but he was supposed to get here yesterday morning and still hasn't shown up, so he's probably not coming. And there aren't any books on plumbing in Kazul's library, or I'd have fixed it myself.'
'I'm sorry,' Mendanbar said. 'Maybe I can do something about it.'
'Go ahead,' Cimorene replied. 'You can't make it any worse than it is already.'
That didn't sound like much of a vote of confidence to Mendanbar, but it didn't matter. He went over to
