In truth, now that the time had come for me to leave the castle that I had never regarded as home, I was reluctant to do so.
It took me most of the day to make my preparations for the journey. I went from shop to shop among the courtyards as if moving in a dream. It seemed that there were a hundred things to do. Altaru's hooves needed reshoeing, as did those of our pack horse, Tanar. I had to visit the storerooms in the various cellars to gather rations for myself: cheeses and nuts, dried venison and apples and battle biscuits so hard they would break one's teeth Jttthey weren't first dipped in a cupful of brandy or beer. These vital beverages I poured into twelve small oak casks which I carefully balanced on Tanar's back along with the waterskins. I worried that the weight would be too much for the brown gelding to carry, but Tanar was young and almost as heavily muscled as Altaru himself. He seemed to have no trouble bearing this had of consumables as well as my ground fur, cookware and other equipment that would make sleeping beneath the stars a delight rather than a misery.
He balked only when I strapped onto him my longbow and sheaves of arrows that I would use hunting in the forests between Silvassu and Tria. Once, at the Battle of Red Mountain, he had been struck in the flank by a stray arrow and had never forgotten it. I had to reassure him that we were embarking on a quest to regain a cup that would end such battles forever and not going out to war. But my appearance unfortunately, belted any soothing words I could offer him. My father had insisted that I set forth as a knight of Mesh, and to honor him, I had gathered up the necessary accoutrements By law, no knight could leave Mesh alone wearing out diamond armor; such displays would be likely to incite the envy and hatred of robbers who would murder for the gain of these priceless gems. So instead, I had donned a mail suit made of silver steel. Over its gleaming rings I had pulled a black surcoat bearing the swan and stars of Mesh. As well I bore a heavy charging lance, five lighter throwing lances, and, of course, the shining kalama that my father had given me on my thirteenth birthday. The massive war helm, with its narrow eye slits and silver wings projecting out from the sides, I would not put on until just before I was ready to leave the castle.
I spent at least two hours of the afternoon saying my farewells. I visited briefly with the master carpenter in his shop full of sawdust and riven wood. He was a thick, jowly man with an easy laugh and skillful hands that had made the frame of my grandfather's portrait. We talked about my grandfather for a while, the battles he had fought'; the dreams he had dreamed. He wished me well and warned me to be careful of the Ishkans. This advice I also received from Lansar Raasharu, my father's seneschal. This sad-faced man, whom I had always loved as one of my family, told me that I should keep a tighter watch over my own lips than I did even over the enemy.
'They're a hot-headed bunch,' he said, 'who will fashion your own words into weapons and hurl them back at you toward disastrous ends.'
'Better that,' I said, 'than poison arrows fired in the woods.'
Lord Raasharu rubbed his nigged face and cocked his head, looking at me in surprise. He asked 'Hasn't Lord Asaru spoken to you?'
'No, not since before the feast'
'Well, you should have been told: it can't be Prince Salmelu who was your assassin.
He and his friends crossed my path in the woods down by the Kurash at the time of your trouble.'
'And you're sure it was he?'
'As sure as that you're Valashu Elahad'
'That is good news!' I said. I hadn't wanted to believe that Salmelu would have tried to murder me. ' The Ishkans may be Ishkans, but they're Valari first.'
'That's true,' Lord Raasharu said. 'But the Ishkans are still Ishkans, so you be careful once you cross the mountains, all right?'
And with that he clapped his hand across my shoulder hard enough to make the rings of mail jingle, and said goodbye.
It distressed me that I could find neither Maram nor Master Juwain to tell them how much I would miss them. According to Master Tadeo who still remained in the Brothers' quarters, both Master Juwain and Maram had left the castle in great haste that morning while I had been sleeping. Apparently, there had been some sort of altercation with Lord Harsha, who had ridden off in a fury with Behira and their wagon before breakfast. But it seemed I had not been forgotten. Master Tadeo handed me a sealed letter that Maram had written; I tucked this square of white paper behind the belt girdling my surcoat, and vowed to read it later.
There remained only the farewells to be made with my family. Asaru insisted on meeting me by the east gate of the castle, as did my mother, my grandmother and my other brothers. In a courtyard full of barking dogs and children playing in the last of the day's sun, I stood by Altaru to take my leave of them. They each had presents for me, and a word or two of wisdom as well.
Mandru, the fiercest of my brothers, was the first to come forward. As usual, he carried his sword in the three remaining fingers of his left hand. It was rumored, I knew, that he slept holding this sword, and not his young wife, which might have explained his lack of children. For a moment, I thought that he intended to give me this most personal of possessions. And then I noticed that in his right hand, he held something else: his treasured sharpening stone made of pressed diamond dust. He gave this sparkling gray stone to me and said, 'Keep your sword sharp, Val. Never yield to our enemies.'
After he had embraced me, Ravar next approached to give me his favorite throwing lance. He reminded me always to set my boots in my stirrups before casting it, and then stepped aside to let Jonathay come nearer. With a faraway, dreamy look on his face, this most fatalistic of my brothers presented me with his chess set, the one with the rare ebony and ivory pieces that he loved playing with while on long campaigns.
His calm, cheerful smile suggested to me that I play at the game of finding the Lightstone – and win.
Now it was Yarashan's turn to say goodbye. He strode up to me as if everyone in the castle was watching each of his lithe, powerful motions. He was even prouder than Asaru, I thought but he lacked Asaru's kindness, innocence and essential goodness. He was a handsome, dashing man, and was considered the finest knight in Mesh – except for those who said this of Asaru. I thought that he considered he would make a better king than Asaru, although he was much too perceptive and loyal ever to say such a thing. He held in his hand a well-worn copy of the Valkariad, which was his favorite book of the SaganomElu. He gave it to me and said,
'Remember the story of Kalkamesh, little brother.'
He, too, embraced me, then stepped aside as Karshur handed me his favorite hunting arrow. I had always envied this solid, simple man because he seemed never to have a doubt as to the right thing to do or the difference between evil and good.
Then I looked up to see Asaru standing between my mother and grandmother. As I listened to the distant sound of hammered iron coming from the blacksmith's shop, I watched him step over to me.
'Please take this,' he said to me. From around his neck, he pulled loose the thong binding the lucky bear claw that he always wore. He draped it over my head and told me, 'Never lose heart -you have a great heart Val.'
Although he fell silent as he clapped me on the shoulder, the tears in his eyes said everything else there was to say.
I was sure that he thought I would be killed on some dark road in a strange kingdom far from home. My mother obviously thought this as well. Although she was a strong, brave woman, she too was weeping as she came forward to give me the traveling cloak which I knew she had been weaving as a birthday present. I guessed that she had stayed up all night finishing it; with its thick black wool trimmed out with fine silver embroidery and a magnificent silver brooch with which to fasten it, it was a work of love that would keep me warm on even the stormiest of nights.
'Come back,' was all she told me. 'Whether you find this cup or not, come home when it's time to come home.'
She kissed me then and fell sobbing against me. It took all of her will and dignity to pry herself loose and stand back so that my grandmother could give me the white, wool scarf that she had knitted for me. Ayasha Elahad, whom I had always called Nona, tied this simple garment around my neck She stood in the darkening courtyard looking up at me with her bright eyes. Then she pointed at the night's first stars and told me, 'Your grandfather would have made this quest, you know. Never forget that he is watching you.'
I hugged her tiny body against the hardness of the mail that encircled mine. Even through this steel armor with its hundreds of interlocked rings, I could feel the beating of her heart. This frail woman, I thought, was the source of love in my family, and I would take this most precious of gifts with me wherever I went.
At last I stood away from her and looked at my family one by one No one spoke; no one seemed to know any
