Betrayal

parked at the valet station like any other thinking human being.'

'Well, still…' She hugged her arms to herself. 'God, I just can't stop shaking.'

'It's okay,' he said. 'It's just adrenaline.' He took his right hand off the wheel and held it out. 'If it'll help,' he said, 'here's a hand you can hold.'

It took her a moment to decide. She took in a breath and let it out, then reached over and put her hand in his, bringing both hands over the gear-shift and into her lap, then covering them with her other hand. 'Thank you,' she said. 'That helps.'

There was no argument about whether he should walk with her to her door. She opened it, flicked on the inside light, and turned back toward him, her face reflecting her turmoil. Breaking a weak, somehow apologetic smile, she started to raise her hand then let it fall. 'I was going to say, 'Thank you, I had a good time,' but'-she met his eyes-'I'm a little confused right now. Is that all right?'

'That's fine,' Nolan said.

'I'm going to read Evan's letters.'

'As well you should.'

'I don't want you to think I'm being ungrateful.'

'Why would I think that?'

'Well, for saving my life and everything. For being a warrior.'

That brought the trace of a smile. 'I wondered if that had occurred to you. But you don't owe me anything, Tara, and certainly nothing for that.' He gently chucked her chin with his index finger. 'Don't you worry about me. I'm fine. You've just had a trauma you're going to need to process. It's okay. You're home now. Have a good night.' And with that, he came forward, quickly kissed her cheek, and backed away. 'Close the door,' he said. 'That's an order.'

Unable to sleep, she finally got to the letters.

They were from Evan's heart and soul. The way she remembered him came through loud and clear in every one-mostly chatty and irreverent, but then always there with the real stuff at the end. He missed her. He loved her and wanted them to try again when he got home.

When.

But it wasn't when, she knew. It was if. There was no certainty that he'd come back alive or in one piece. She couldn't shake the idea that even as she was reading his words, he might already be dead. She wasn't about to commit to him again and then have him die over there. There would be no commitment, she knew, until they were back together in person, until these philosophical issues had been resolved one way or the other. To give him hope before that would just be counterproductive and stupid.

Tara was reading in her bed with blankets over her, wearing pajamas and her warmest bathrobe against her continued shivering, even though it was a balmy night in Redwood City. Finally, she put down the latest letter-it was the fifth or sixth one she'd read-and closed her eyes, trying to picture the Evan she had known in her mind, trying to dredge up a feeling from the time when she'd thought they were the perfect couple, that they'd marry and have a family and a wonderful life together. It wasn't coming easy.

Part of her, perhaps most of her, still believed that she loved him, that he would come home from this war and they'd start over and work out all the issues. But he'd been gone now for several months and she'd spent the time putting him behind her. When he came back-if he came back-they'd see where they were. She thought that if she and Evan were in fact the perfect couple, if they were meant to be together, then nothing could keep them apart. But in the meanwhile she had her life and her principles. She wasn't going to remain in a relationship where those principles were compromised from the beginning.

But tonight's object lesson with Ron Nolan had shaken some of those core beliefs. They had been set upon by bad people who wished them harm, and without Nolan to defend her, she might very well…

Suddenly the memory of the assault came over her again-the men surrounding them with knives glinting in their fists. The utter lack of warning when the unexpected first thrust came at them. If Ron hadn't been there…or, no, more than that…if he hadn't been who he was, it could have ended so badly. It could have been not just a robbery, but the end of her life, of everything.

A fresh wave of adrenaline straightened her up in the bed.

Throwing off her covers, she went to the window in the bedroom and pulled aside the drapes a couple of inches, just enough so that she could see out. The blue-lit water in the pool down below was still. No shadows moved on the lawn, in the surrounding hedges. All was peace and suburban serenity. Letting the drapes fall, she crossed her bedroom and, turning on lights as she walked, she went out into the living room. She opened the closet in that room, the other one by the front door, then she turned and went into the kitchen. The window over the sink looked down on the parking lot and she turned out the kitchen lights so that she could more clearly see outside.

In the puddle of one of the streetlights, Ron Nolan's Corvette faced away from her apartment, toward the entrance to the driveway that led into the parking lot. The top was down, and it was close enough that she could easily see Ron himself still in the front seat, his elbow resting on the windowsill. She looked at the clock-he'd left her at the door nearly forty-five minutes before.

'Ron?'

He'd heard the footsteps coming up and had forced himself to remain still, facing forward, until she'd come abreast of him. Now he looked over at her, in her T-shirt, jeans, and sandals. 'Hey.' Low-key.

'What are you doing?'

'Just sitting here. Enjoying the night.' She seemed to need more explanation and he gave it to her. 'I was a little wound up earlier. I thought I'd decompress a little before braving the roads again. I thought you'd be asleep by now.'

'No,' she said. 'I was wound up too.' Pausing, she let out a small breath. 'I read Evan's letters. I think he's still confused. I know I am.'

'About what?'

'Us. Me and him. What I'm going to do.'

'What do you want to do about Evan?'

'If I knew that, I wouldn't be confused, would I? I haven't been fair to him either. I should write and tell him what I've been feeling.'

'And what is that?'

'That maybe we still have a chance if he's willing to try to get through all this stuff. But that has to be in the future, when he gets back, if he does get back. I can't commit again until then, till we see what we've got. Does that sound fair to you?'

'I'm not an unbiased source,' he said. 'It sounds to me like you just said you weren't committed to him.'

'We broke up five months ago, Ron.' She took in a breath. 'What were you really doing out here?' she asked.

'I was enjoying the night, the smells, the absence of gunfire.' He looked up at her. 'I was also hoping you might not be able to sleep and you'd see me down here, and that you'd come down and that I'd see you again. Maybe walk you back to your door.'

After a second, she said, 'You could do that.'

6

In San Francisco, Deputy Chief of Inspectors Abe Glitsky entered the homicide detail at nine-thirty on the following Monday morning. Darrel Bracco, one of Glitsky's early proteges, looked up from the report he was writing