Up The Down Staircase

We have to punch—

6. No One Down Here

FROM: JAMES J. MCHABE, ADM. ASST.

TO: MISS BARRETT, 304

Why do you need so many paper-clips? Supplies are running low. All out of desk blotters. All out of rubber bands. And all out of board erasers. No red pencils — only blue. Can let you have half envelope of chalk — all out of boxes. Chalk is not to be wasted. No unauthorized students are to use it.

JJ McH

* * *

TO: ALL TEACHERS

Please ignore the bells.

Sadie Finch

Chief Clerk

* * *

FROM: SYLVIA BARRETT

TO: DR. SAMUEL BESTER

Enclosed are my registers in my five English classes. I find that my teaching-load is 223 students per day and that my average is not 33 but 44 3/5 students per class.

39 + 46 + 46 + 51 +41 = 223 / 5 = 44 3/5

Also, the Book Room has no Mill on the Floss — only Julius Caesar, and only enough for three-fourths of the class.

S. Barrett

* * *

FROM: DR. SAMUEL BESTER

CHAIRMAN, LANGUAGE ARTS DEPT.

TO: MISS BARRETT

Dear Miss Barrett,

Let it be a challenge to you.

S. Bester

* * *

DDENDUM TO ETHICAL STANDARDS:

TRANSPORTATION CARDS ARE NOT TO BE SIGNED UNLESS STUDENTS ARE ENTITLED TO TRANSPORTATION. WE HAVE HAD AN EPIDEMIC OF MISREPRESENTATION ON TRANSPORTATION CARDS.

INSTILL IN YOUR STUDENTS PROPER BEHAVIOR ON PUBLIC VEHICLES TO AND FROM SCHOOL. INFRACTIONS OF COMMON COURTESY IN OR AROUND THE VICINITY OF THE SCHOOL, REFLECT ON CALVIN COOLIDGE AND DISTORT OUR PUBLIC IMAGE.

NO WRITTEN PASSES ARE TO BE ISSUED TO LAVATORIES, SINCE THEY ARE EASILY DUPLICATED BY THE STUDENTS. ONLY WOODEN LAVATORY PASSES ARE TO BE HONORED.

JAMES J. MCHABE, ADM. ASST.

* * *

Miss Barrett—

Joseph Ferone disrupted my 5th period math class through the door. He belonged in your English class that period but left your room without a pass.

Edward Williams of your homeroom talked in Assembly this morning.

Please take appropriate measures.

Frederick Loomis

* * *

Dear Mrs. Barnet, He said to apologize in writing but I didn't even talk in assembly today, teachers have it in for me because I am color. Loomis flunked me in math last term, it's not fair because I was in class a lot. He flunked me in hist. too even though it's not his subject. Teachers give the subject a bad name. He said he'll report me because he's prejudice.

Edward Williams, Esq.

* * *

FROM: JAMES MCHABE, ADM. ASST.

TO: ALL TEACHERS

AT THE END OF THE HOMEROOM PERIOD, PLEASE SEND TO ME THOSE STUDENTS WHO HAVE FAILED TO REPORT FOR CHECK-OUT BECAUSE THEY HAVE LEFT THE BUILDING.

JJ McH

* * *

Bea — As for above — I'd like to oblige him, but how do I send him kids who aren't there?

Puzzled

* * *

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: 508

TO: 304

Dear Puzzled —

Let it be a challenge to you.

Bea

* * *

FROM: JAMES J. MCHABE, ADM. ASST.

TO: ALL TEACHERS

DUE BEFORE THREE

Please fill out and send to 211 before 3 today the enclosed report on Physical Condition of Room. This is