Up The Down Staircase

The school bell tolls the knell of starting day;
Ah, do not ask for whom it tolls! I see
The students stairwards push their screaming way;
I know, alas, it tolls for thee and me!

He hasn't given up courting me with iambs.

And he hasn't given up trying to publish his exotic manuscript. A new publisher is interested, and Paul is poised for flight, awaiting word. To pass the time, he's writing the annual Faculty Frolic, which is given a week before Xmas, and at which teachers and students interchange places. I'm looking forward to seeing Mary Lewis in bobby sox.

I'm looking forward to hearing from Willowdale.

I'm looking forward to resigning from the school system.

Or am I?

I'm weary. Comfort me with letters of Xmas trees and hearth fires.

Love,

Syl

P.S. Did you know that attacks by pupils on teachers in the city schools average one a day?

S.

50. The Lighter Side of Education

TO: ALL TEACHERS

WITH CHRISTMAS ONLY A WEEK AWAY, THE SEASON'S GAY AND FESTIVE MOOD DESCENDS UPON OUR FACULTY AND STAFF TOMORROW WITH OUR ANNUAL FACULTY FROLIC, 'THE COOLIDGE GILBERT & SULLIVAN,' WHICH WILL BE THE CULMINATION OF OUR TRADITIONAL 'TEACHER FOR A DAY' DAY. I HOPE AND TRUST THAT BOTH THOSE WHO PARTICIPATE AND THOSE WHO DO NOT, JOIN IN THE SPIRIT OF PROPER ENJOYMENT OF THE LIGHTER SIDE OF EDUCATION.

I WELCOME THIS OPPORTUNITY TO OFFER EACH AND ALL OF YOU MY SINCERE AND HEARTFELT WISHES FOR A MERRY YULETIDE AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR.

MAXWELL E. CLARKE

PRINCIPAL

* * *

TO: THE FACULTY OF CALVIN COOLIDGE HIGH SCHOOL

DEAR TEACHER:

IF YOU'D LIKE TO MAKE SOME EXTRA MONEY DURING THE XMAS HOLIDAYS, WE STILL HAVE A FEW OPENINGS LEFT IN OUR AGENCY IN THE FIELD OF TUTORING, SELLING, AND ADDRESSING XMAS ENVELOPES. PLEASE READ THE ENCLOSED APPLICATION FORM CAREFULLY; JOBS ARE GOING FAST!

* * *

For Linda Rosen

c/o Miss Barrett's Letterbox—Please forward!!!

Linda!!! Are you financially embarrassed or your fingers turned numb or have you run out of stationery???? Why didn't you answer my RSVP???? You know I can't call you because your Mother listens in on the Ext.!!! Je me porte tres bien et j'espere que vous etes le meme. Vous comprenez ma language???? Voulez vous venir a ma noel party avec Bob? Mes parents ne serons pas dans la maison!!!! Nous voulons avoir un grand temps comme le dernier foi, parce que I got le 'stuff', vous me comprenez, pour devenir haut!! N'est pas???? Let me know!!!!

Actions speak louder than words, so I'll sign off.

Roz

* * *

CIRCULAR # 99B

TOPIC: 'TEACHER FOR A DAY' DAY

PLEASE KEEP ALL CIRCULARS ON FILE, IN THEIR ORDER

DECEMBER 18, WHICH IS TOMORROW, HAS BEEN DESIGNATED 'TEACHER FOR A DAY' DAY. ONLY THE HIGHEST SERIOUSNESS OF PURPOSE AND EXECUTION WILL BE TOLERATED. ALL DISCIPLINE PROBLEMS ARISING FROM THE LACK OF SERIOUSNESS OF THIS PROGRAM ARE TO BE REFERRED TO MR. McHABE.

* * *

Dear Miss Barrett,

Since I am running for re-election next term, I'm putting this in your letter box. Please enter all my Service Credits on my PRC which is important for votes. They are, to refresh your memory:

President G. O.

Captain Cafeteria Patrol.

Elevator Squad

G. O. Store Superviser

Vice President Social Club

Secretary Glee Club

and Clarion Booster

Miss Egan said she may give me credit for laying out gauze pads and swabs in the Infirmery each morning but I don't know if she will since pressure of other work prevents me doing so.

The Students Future Choice

Harry A. Kagan

* * *

TO: ALL TEACHERS

THE TEACHERS' INTEREST COMMITTEE IS PLANNING A GALA LUNCHEON FOR THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL BEFORE THE XMAS HOLIDAYS, WHEN STUDENTS WILL BE DISMISSED AT NOON. THE COST WILL BE $2.25 PER PERSON, INCLUDING GRATUITIES, WHICH IS THE MOST REASONABLE PRICE WE COULD GET.

PLEASE INDICATE YOUR WILLINGNESS TO ATTEND BY CHECKING YES OR NO. IF YOU EXPECT TO COME, PLEASE INDICATE YOUR CHOICE BY PLACING A CHECK ON THE LEFT-HAND SIDE OF MEAT OR FISH.

I WILL/WILL NOT ATTEND THE GALA LUNCHEON

SUPREME OF FRESH FRUIT ATTRACTIVELY DECORATED WITH STRAWBERRIES

CREAM OF MUSHROOM SOUP WITH GOLDEN CROUTONS