Vallery, was the captain: the coals of fire were being heaped on the wrong head.
'Fear, suspense, hunger.' Brooks's voice was very low now. 'These are the things that break a man, that destroy him as surely as fire or steel or pestilence could. These are the killers.
'But they are nothing, Admiral Starr, just nothing at all. They are only the henchmen, the outriders, you might call them, of the Three Horsemen of the Apocalypse, cold, lack of sleep, exhaustion.
'Do you know what it's like up there, between Jan Mayen and Bear Island on a February night, Admiral Starr? Of course you don't. Do you know what it's like when there's sixty degrees of frost in the Arctic, and it still doesn't freeze? Do you know what it's like when the wind, twenty degrees below zero, comes screaming off the Polar and Greenland ice-caps and slices through the thickest clothing like a scalpel? When there's five hundred tons of ice on the deck, where five minutes' direct exposure means frostbite, where the bows crash down into a trough and the spray hits you as solid ice, where even a torch battery dies out in the intense cold? Do you, Admiral Starr, do you?' Brooks flung the words at him, hammered them at him.
'And do you know what it's like to go for days on end without sleep, for weeks with only two or three hours out of the twenty-four? Do you know the sensation, Admiral Starr? That fine-drawn feeling with every nerve in your body and cell in your brain stretched taut to breaking point, pushing you over the screaming edge of madness. Do you know it, Admiral Starr? It's the most exquisite agony in the world, and you'd sell your friends, your family, your hopes of immortality for the blessed privilege of closing your eyes and just letting go.
'And then there's the tiredness, Admiral Starr, the desperate weariness that never leaves you. Partly it's the debilitating effect of the cold, partly lack of sleep, partly the result of incessantly bad weather. You know yourself how exhausting it can be to brace yourself even for a few hours on a rolling, pitching deck: our boys have been doing it for months, gales are routine on the Arctic run. I can show you a dozen, two dozen old men, not one of them a day over twenty.'
Brooks pushed back his chair and paced restlessly across the cabin.
Tyndall and Turner glanced at each other, then over at Vallery, who sat with head and shoulders bowed, eyes resting vacantly on his clasped hands on the table. For the moment, Starr might not have existed.
'It's a vicious, murderous circle,' Brooks went on quickly. He was leaning against the bulkhead now, hands deep in his pockets, gazing out sightlessly through the misted scuttle. 'The less sleep you have, the tireder you are: the more tired you become, the more you feel the cold.
And so it goes on. And then, all the time, there's the hunger and the terrific tension. Everything interacts with everything else: each single factor conspires with the others to crush a man, break him physically and mentally, and lay him wide open to disease. Yes, Admiral, disease.'
He smiled into Starr's face, and there was no laughter in his smile.
'Pack men together like herring in a barrel, deprive 'em of every last ounce of resistance, batten 'em below decks for days at a time, and what do you get? T.B. It's inevitable.' He shrugged. 'Sure, I've only isolated a few cases so far, but I know that active pulmonary T.B. is rife in the lower deck.
'I saw the break-up coming months ago.' He lifted his shoulders wearily. 'I warned the Fleet Surgeon several times. I wrote the Admiralty twice. They were sympathetic, and that's all. Shortage of ships, shortage of men...'
'The last hundred days did it, sir, on top of the previous months. A hundred days of pure bloody hell and not a single hour's shore leave. In port only twice, for ammunitioning: all oil and provisions from the carriers at sea. And every day an eternity of cold and hunger and danger and suffering. In the name of God,' Brooks cried, 'we're not machines!'
He levered himself off the wall and walked over to Starr, hands still thrust deep in his pockets.
'I hate to say this in front of the Captain, but every officer in the ship, except Captain Vallery, knows that die men would have mutinied, as you call it, long ago, but for one thing, Captain Vallery. The intense personal loyalty of the crew to the Captain, the devotion almost to the other side of idolatry is something quite unique in my experience, Admiral Starr.'
Tyndall and Turned both murmured approval. Vallery still sat motionless.
'But there was a limit even to that. It had to come. And now you talk of punishing, imprisoning these men. Good God above, you might as well hang a man for having leprosy, or send him to penal servitude for developing ulcers!' Brooks shook his head in despair. 'Our crew are equally guiltless. They just couldn't help it. They can't see right from wrong any more. They can't think straight. They just want a rest, they just want peace, a few days' blessed quiet. They'll give anything in the world for these things and they can't see beyond them. Can't you see that, Admiral Starr? Can't you? Can't you?'
For perhaps thirty seconds there was silence, complete, utter silence, in the Admiral's cabin. The high, thin whine of the wind, the swish of the hail seemed unnaturally loud. Then Starr was on his feet, his hands stretching out for his gloves: Vallery looked up, for the first time, and he knew that Brooks had failed.
'Have my barge alongside, Captain Vallery. At once, please.' Starr was detached, quite emotionless. 'Complete oiling, provisioning and ammunitioning as soon as possible. Admiral Tyndall, I wish you and your squadron a successful voyage. As for you, Commander Brooks, I quite see the point of your argument, at least, as far as you are concerned.' His lips parted in a bleak, wintry smile. 'You are quite obviously overwrought, badly in need of some leave. Your relief will be aboard before midnight. If you will come with me, Captain...'
He turned to the door and had taken only two steps when Vallery's voice stopped him dead, poised on one foot. 'One moment, sir, if you please.'
Starr swung round. Captain Vallery had made no move to rise. He sat still, smiling. It was a smile compounded of deference, of understanding, and of a curious inflexibility. It made Starr feel vaguely uncomfortable.
'Surgeon-Commander Brooks,' Vallery said precisely, 'is a quite exceptional officer. He is invaluable, virtually irreplaceable and the Ulysses needs him badly. I wish to retain his services.'
'I've made my decision, Captain,' Starr snapped. 'And it's final. You know, I think, the powers invested in me by the Admiralty for this investigation.'
'Quite, sir.' Vallery was quiet, unmoved. 'I repeat, however, that we cannot afford to lose an officer of Brooks's calibre.'
The words, the tone, were polite, respectful; but their significance was unmistakable. Brooks stepped forward, distress in his face, but before he could speak, Turner cut in smoothly, urbanely.
'I assume I wasn't invited to this conference for purely decorative purposes.' He tilted back in his chair, his eyes fixed dreamily on the deckhead. 'I feel it's time I said something. I unreservedly endorse old Brooks's remarks, every word of them.'
Starr, white, mouthed and motionless, looked at Tyndall. 'And you, Admiral?'
Tyndall looked up quizzically, all the tenseness and worry gone from his face. He looked more like a West Country Farmer Giles than ever. He supposed wryly, that his career was at stake; funny, he thought how suddenly unimportant a career could become.
'As Officer Commanding, maximum squadron efficiency is my sole concern. Some people are irreplaceable. Captain Vallery suggests Brooks is one of these. I agree.'
'I see, gentlemen, I see,' Starr said heavily. Two spots of colour burned high up on his cheekbones. 'The convoy has sailed from Halifax, and my hands are tied. But you make a great mistake, gentlemen, a great mistake, in pointing pistols at the head of the Admiralty. We have long memories in Whitehall. We shall-ah-discuss the matter at length on your return. Good-day, gentlemen, good-day.'
Shivering in the sudden chill, Brooks clumped down the ladder to the upper deck and turned for'ard past the galley into the Sick Bay.
Johnson, the Leading Sick Bay Attendant, looked out from the dispensary.
'How are our sick and suffering, Johnson?' Brooks inquired. 'Bearing up manfully?'
Johnson surveyed the eight beds and their occupants morosely.
'Just a lot of bloody chancers, sir. Half of them are a damned sight fitter than I am. Look at Stoker Riley there, him with the broken finger and whacking great pile of Reader's Digests. Going through all the medical articles, he is, and roaring out for sulpha, penicillin and all the latest antibiotics. Can't pronounce half of them. Thinks he's dying.'
'A grievous loss,' the Surgeon-Commander murmured. He shook his head.
'What Commander Dodson sees in him I don't know...What's the latest from hospital?'
