Even The Vampires Get The Blues

I sighed, rubbing the chill from my arms. Just being near Paen seemed to drive away the nightmarish quality of my out-of-body experience. 'The truth is that it's all my mother's fault.'

His jaw tightened as he drove. 'Indeed.'

'I didn't mean that it's her fault I'm here, and thus with you—I meant it's my mother's fault because she passed on a couple of elf traits to me. I was born with her pointy ears, elf-tipped eyes, talent for finding lost things, and a really warped version of her ability to do out-of-body trips. Unlike Mom's skill with astral projection, however, mine only hits whenever I'm sexually aroused.'

He looked at me in patent disbelief. 'You what?'

I nodded, then pointed to the road. He turned back to it, but glanced curiously from the corner of his eye a couple of times. 'Whenever I get aroused, my body and consciousness part ways, and I go drifting off while it has all the fun. I can't begin to tell you how frustrating it is.'

'I can imagine,' he said dryly.

'Oh, you think you can, but I doubt it,' I said mournfully. 'It's awful, and there's nothing I can do about it. I've tried everything, too. Once I'm gone—pfft! I just have to wait it out. No one has ever called me back like you did. That was pretty amazing.'

'Hmm.' He didn't look like he disbelieved me, but he didn't look like he was buying everything I was saying, either.

'The worst is when I come back and find out that evidently I've been having wonderful sexual experiences, but wasn't there to enjoy them.'

He shot me a curious glance. 'Are you saying this happens every time you engage in sex?'

I nodded. 'It doesn't even have to be sex. Just doing what we were doing is enough to send my brain into astral mode.'

'So you've never actually… er… for lack of a better phrasing, been there for any of the times you've had sex?'

'No.'

'Not any of the times?'

'None. It's not like I've had tons of sex, though. I pretty much gave it up after I realized what was going on. I mean, what's the use? Just when I start getting into it, whammo! I'm taken off and return to find my body either apparently fulfilled and no longer interested, or tense and frustrated, while my boyfriend is snoring away.'

'I see.'

'I've only had three boyfriends,' I said, compelled for some reason to make it absolutely clear I wasn't a thrill-seeking trollop. 'But I tried everything I could think of to stay there for the whole thing, and never had any luck.'

'Perhaps the fault lies with them, not you,' Paen said, his eyes back on the road as we drove.

'What do you mean?'

'Were your partners mortal?'

'Yes. One was a Diviner, but he was mortal all right. He died last year in a plane crash.'

'I'm sorry to hear that.'

'So was I. He was a nice guy. Not a great Diviner, but a nice guy. But what do my boyfriends being mortal have to do with me drifting away during the fun time?'

He shot me a silver-eyed look that was completely unreadable. 'You have immortal blood. Perhaps you would have better luck with a man who shared that trait.'

My jaw dropped for a moment before I had enough wits about me to snap it back. 'Are you offering yourself as a potential partner?'

There was a pause. 'In the interests of scientific understanding, yes, I would be willing to undertake that role.'

He noticed the surprised look on my face.

'I don't normally proposition women in this manner, but I will admit to being physically attracted to you, and believe that you feel likewise.'

'Oh, really.' We were deep in the heart of the country now, heading into a rural area with patches of forest and wilderness, so there were no streetlights. The only light illuminating Paen's face was that from the dashboard, but it was enough for me to eye his profile. It was just as handsome as the rest of his face.

His jaw tightened. 'I see. I have misread your interest in me, then. I apologize for—'

'No!' I interrupted, not wanting him to misunderstand. 'That 'oh, really?' wasn't challenging your statement about me being attracted to you—I am—but more just… well, annoyed.'

'Annoyed?' A slight frown wrinkled his forehead. 'Are you always annoyed when someone tells you he finds you attractive?'

'Of course not, but you have to admit that someone telling you they want to go to bed with you purely in the interests of science sounds a bit condescending. I mean, sheesh, talk about martyring yourself…'

His lips thinned. 'I didn't intend for you to take my offer that way. I am a man. I find you an attractive woman, and since you apparently reciprocate that feeling, you are not presently dating anyone—' He paused and gave me a quick glance.

'Nope, not dating,' I said.

'—and as you appear to be of legal age—'

'Thirty-four in September.'

'—then I assumed I could express my interest without you taking offense.'

'Oh, I'm not offended,' I said, smiling. He was so cute when he was in a snit. 'Just surprised.'

He said nothing.

'Tempting as your offer is, I hasten to point out that you are immortal, and I just did do the astral thing, so the answer to what I would do with you is pretty evident.'

'Not necessarily. I was feeding, not attempting to arouse you. It would be different if I were to focus my attention on bringing you pleasure.'

I digested that morsel for a moment and admitted that he could well be right. 'We just met, Paen. Yes, the physical thing is there, but we haven't known each other for more than a couple of hours at most. I've never been one for casual relationships. In fact, I was madly in love with all three of my boyfriends before we ever got physical.'

'Perhaps that's the trouble,' he said, still not looking at me.

'What, having an emotional commitment with my boyfriends before having sex with them?'

'Yes. Sex is a bodily function no different from any other bodily function. You need air, you breathe. You need sexual pleasure, you have sex. It's that simple.'

I gawked. 'You are really screwed up, aren't you? We're talking serious commitment issues here, the kind that you see on Montel.'

'You don't have to be committed to a hamburger to gain sustenance from it, do you?'

'No, of course not, but—'

'Why should something so simple as sex be any different?' he asked, his eyes all but lighting up the inside of the car. 'I have no doubts that were you willing. I would be able to provide you with sexual pleasure without any messy emotional issues becoming involved.'

' 'Messy emotional issues,'' I repeated, aghast. 'Is that what being in love is to you? Messy?'

'Yes. Love for a sexual partner serves no real purpose. It is unnecessary.'

'Thus speaks a man who has never been in love,' I said. 'Are you sure you're a Dark One and not a Vulcan or something?'

'On the contrary, I love my parents and brothers,' he answered, ignoring my Vulcan quip.

'That's splitting hairs, and you know it. Love in a relationship is a wonderful thing, Paen. Sex can be nice on its own—or so I've been told; I've never been present to feel it for myself—but sex without love is empty. Shallow. Meaningless.'

He snorted. 'Why do women have to sugarcoat everything?'

'How's this for sugarcoating—what you're talking about is the difference between fucking and