Even The Vampires Get The Blues

'We're going to an abbey, you idiot,' Daniel said, smacking his brother on the arm as he stretched and grabbed his coat.

'Bet you I could find some.'

Paen only just kept himself from rolling his eyes. 'I'm not brooding. I never brood.'

His brothers, all three of the rotters, laughed.

'Paen, you're the world's champion brooder,' Daniel said, stretching again and squinting at the clock.

'Aye, and a broodaholic, to boot. I'm thinking we need to do an intervention, or maybe get you into one of those twelve-step programs. 'Hi, my name is Paen, and I'm broody.' Maybe that'll help you lighten up a bit.' Finn grinned at his brother.

Paen stifled the urge to sock him in the arm. Finn was just as tall as he was, and although he had a good twenty pounds on his brother, it had been a near thing the last time he wrestled Finn—or any of them, for that matter.

Instead, Paen gave them all a narrow-eyed look, wondering for the umpteenth time how his fair-haired mother and dark-haired father could produce four sons who differed so greatly in appearance. He took after his father in looks, with black hair that insisted on curling despite his efforts to make it lie flat, and grey eyes. Avery was every bit his blond-haired, blue-eyed mother's son, while Finn and Daniel were somewhere in between. 'There is a vast difference between being concerned for Mum's soul and brooding. What you see here is concern, with just a dash of worry thrown in to keep from going stale. There's not a single shred of brood on me.'

'Here it comes,' Avery told Finn.

The latter nodded. 'The bit about us lot being so lucky because we have our souls, and him being damned and all. Same old, same old.'

'Well, I am damned! You don't have the slightest concept what it is to be in my position,' Paen argued. 'You have no idea the torment, the pain—'

''—the agony of living each day without any hope, without love shared with a soulmate, without any chance at redemption,'' his brothers all chanted together.

Paen growled. He loved his brothers, but there were times when he would pay good money to be an only child.

'And yet you claim you're perfectly happy that way. We've told you that we'd move heaven and earth to help you find your Beloved,' Avery said. 'Just say the word, and we'll scour the length and breadth of Scotland for her. The whole of Britain, even!'

'I met a woman yesterday you might like,' Daniel said thoughtfully. 'I could ring her up before we leave—'

'No!' Paen said quickly, a little chill running through him. 'I've had enough of Avery all but pimping for me— I've no need for any more of you bringing home women you just know will turn out to be my Beloved. I don't need a woman to save me. I'm perfectly happy, in a completely non-brooding way, just as I am, and besides, I'm well on the way to locating the Simla Gestor Coda.'

'Oh, not that faery story again,' Daniel said, rolling his eyes.

'It's not a faery story.'

'I know, I know,' Daniel said, holding up his hands. 'This book you're always going on about supposedly contains the details about the origins of Dark Ones, including a way to unmake the curse binding you guys.'

'Exactly. I just have to find it, and I will be able to lift the curse myself. Completely without the assistance of any interfering woman, thank you.'

'Paen, you've looked for the last twenty-five years for that manuscript—I think it's time you admit it doesn't exist,' Avery said. The others nodded. 'I don't know why you're so bent on fighting the fact that you need a woman to save you. Women are nice! They are smooth, and they smell good, and god knows they do things to my body that make my eyes cross with bliss. You need to get off this high horse of 'I'll save myself and get with the program, brother. Find your Beloved, let her save you, and make lots of little Paens.'

Paen glared at his irresponsible brother. 'Just because I can keep my dick in my pants and you can't—'

'Oh, I can, it's just a lot more fun out and about,' Avery answered, pausing to punch Finn in the shoulder until keys to a car were handed over. 'Ta, mate. We're off to this abbey of fun. I'll call and let you know how many women I manage to find there, too.'

'Between the fast cars and faster women, you're going to kill yourself one of these days,' Paen warned.

'One of the perks of being immortal, brother, is the ability to do whatever you want whenever you want, and to hell with the consequences. You should try it sometime.'

A muscle in Paen's jaw twitched. 'One of us has to have some responsibility and keep things together while Mum and Dad are off.'

Avery rolled his eyes and left the sitting room. Daniel grabbed his jacket and followed after his brother, saying, 'I'm with Av on this, Paen. You need to loosen up a bit, and let go of some of that responsibility you're always harping on. I've got my mobile phone. I'll give you a ring if we find anything.'

'Well?' Paen turned to his remaining brother. 'Don't tell me you're going to pass up an opportunity to get in a few digs about how I need to ignore the castle, the family, and Mum's eternal happiness and instead live like there's no tomorrow.'

Finn grinned. 'Could I pass up such a wonderful chance? All that repressed sexuality—what you really need is to fall in love with some delicious bird, fuck your brains out, let her save you, and try out happy instead of gloomy.'

'Do you know how tiring it gets repeating that I don't need a Beloved? Women I can, and do, have whenever I'm struck with the desire for sex. A female doesn't need to bind herself to me to satisfy my sexual desires.'

'I can't believe I'm going to say this, but here goes—Paen, you're missing out on a whole world of pleasure by keeping yourself at an emotional distance from women. You might as well use slags for all the involvement you have with them. I know you equate feeling affection for a woman with a Beloved, but you know, you can actually like a woman you sleep with without her saving you. Maybe even love her a little, if you're determined not to find your true better half.'

'I don't have a better half,' Paen said, fighting the desire to punch something, anything. 'I'm whole as I am. I might be in eternal torment, but love, souls, and emotional commitments are all overrated. If I didn't know that for myself, all I'd have to do is look at you lot. Always falling in love with some woman or other, then moping around when they end up stomping all over your hearts—no, thanks. If all you're going to do is lecture me, you might as well go, too.'

'I was about to ask what you wanted me to do to help you,' Finn said with a grin.

'To find the statue?' Paen ran a hand through his hair, happy to change the subject of conversation. 'You can't.'

'Not technically, no. So what can I do to help you find it?'

Paen felt as if the weight of the world had descended upon his shoulders. 'To be honest, I've no idea where to even start looking for it. I've never come across a mention of it in the family papers, and since Dad is completely incommunicado until someone tracks him down and forces a satellite phone into his hand, I'm at a loss as to where to begin searching. It could be in the castle, hidden somewhere. It could have been lost or stolen or sold over the years, and I'd have no way of knowing.'

'Hmm,' Finn said. 'Sounds like we need some professional help.'

'What sort of professional help?' Paen asked as his brother went to the phone. 'If it's anything involving demons, it's right out. We're in enough trouble because of them.'

Finn dug around in his jeans pocket and pulled out a handful of miscellaneous items, extracting a blue sticky note from his keys and change. 'Not a demon. I met a woman last week in Edinburgh, an underwear model—man, she had great tits, just how I like them, big enough for my hands but not fake-looking—and she said her cousin was trained as a Diviner, and the two of them were just opening up a private detective business. I bet a Diviner could figure out where the statue is. I'll give Clare a ring and get the cousin's number.'

'Might as well,' Paen said glumly as he slumped down into a chair. Despite his protestations to the contrary, he wanted nothing more than to brood about the latest trial fate had dumped on him. As if things weren't bad enough already… 'It's not like a Diviner could make things any worse.'