Kickback

first place. It would even explain why Martin Cheetham needed more money. She's an expensive looking woman; I can't see her settling for suburbia with a fortnight on the Costa Brava once a year. This business of hers -did your mate say what it was?'

'He did. She owns one of those small, select boutiques where the assistants sneer at you if you're more than a size eight and you've got less than five hundred pounds to spend. It's in the main shopping arcade, apparently. Called Enchantments, would you believe?'

'I would. Great work, Alexis. If they ever get round to firing you, I'm sure Mortensen and Brannigan could put the odd day's work your way,” I said.

'So what now?' she demanded.

I sighed. 'Can you leave it with me? I know that doesn't sound very helpful, but something I've been working on for a week now is about to come on top. With a bit of luck, I'll have it all wrapped up by tomorrow afternoon, and I promise that as soon as I'm clear I'll follow this up. How's that?'

'I suppose it'll have to do,' Alexis said. 'It's OK, Kate, I knew you were tight for time when I asked you to take this on. I can't start complaining now. You get to it when you can, and I'll try to be patient.'

That I really wanted to see. We chatted for a few minutes about the stories Alexis was currently working on, then she signed off for the night. I turned my attention back to the computer. At least Alexis had given me a couple of fresh ideas. I typed in ELEANOR, and the screen filled magically with a list of file names. Some days you eat the bear.

I'd only just started working through the files when the Cavalier returned. Jack drove straight into the garage, and closed the door behind him. I turned up the volume control, and a couple of minutes later he and Liz were doing the kind of kissing, fondling and greeting that brings a blush to the cheeks of even the most hard-nosed private eye. Unless, of course, you're the kind who gets off on aural sex.

However, it soon became clear that Jack and Liz had different things on their minds. While he seemed intent on making the earth move, she was more concerned about where the next fifty grand was coming from. 'Jack, cut it out, wait a minute, I want to talk to you,' she said. And all the rest. Eventually, it sounded like she broke free from the clinch, judging by the fact that her voice was noticeably fainter than his. 'Listen, we need to talk about this finance problem. What's gone wrong?'

'I don't know, exactly. All I know is that when I came into work tonight, Ted told me to stop writing finance proposals. He said the finance company were having problems processing applications, and that there was a temporary block on new business. But he was about as convincing as the Labour Party manifesto. I think what's really happened is that they've had enough of defaulting remortgages,' he said, his tone so casual I had to remind myself he was the man behind the problem. The man who faced at least a couple of years behind the picket fence of an open prison if he was ever nailed.

Liz wasn't anything like as cool. 'We're going to have to stop this, Jack. The bank won't just leave it at that. They'll call the Fraud Squad in, we'll go to prison!' she whined.

'No we won't. Look, when we started this, we knew it couldn't last forever. We always knew that one day, the finance company would notice that too many of Ted Barlow's conservatory customers were defaulting on their mortgages, and we'd have to pull out,” he said reasonably. 'I just didn't think they'd go straight to the bank before they warned Ted.'

'I always said we should spread the risk and go to outside lenders,' she whinged. 'I said it was crazy to use a finance company that's a subsidiary of Ted's bank.'

'We went through that at the time,' Jack said patiently. 'And the reasons for doing it my way haven't changed. For one, we're not involving anybody else. It's just you, me and a form that goes to a finance company who knew Colonial were a sound firm. For two, it's faster, because we never had to trail round mortgage brokers and building societies trying to find a lender, and run the risk of being spotted by somebody that knows me. And for three, I've been raking in commissions on the kick backs from the finance company, which has earned us a fair few quid on top of what the scam has made us. And doing it my way is why we're still safe, even though Ted's bank's put the shaft into him. There's no obvious pattern, that's the thing. Don't forget, we're in the middle of a recession. There'll be real mortgage defaulters in there as well as the ones we've pulled,' he said reassuringly. It was really frustrating not being able to see their faces and body language.

'Except that they'll still have conservatories attached to their houses. They won't have been up all night once a month dismantling a conservatory and loading it into a van so that Jack McCafferty can spirit it away and sell it on to some unsuspecting punter who thinks they're getting a real bargain! I'm telling you Jack, it's time to pull out!'

'Calm down,' he urged her. 'There's no hurry. It'll take them months to sort this mess out. Look, this one's in the home stretch. We can go and see a mortgage broker tomorrow and blag our way into a remortgage on this place, no bother. Where are we up to with the other two?'

'Just let me check. You know I don't trust myself to keep it all in my head,' she said accusingly. I heard the sound of briefcase locks snapping open and the rustle of paper. '10 Cherry Tree Way, Warrington. You've done the credit check, I've got the new bank account set up, I've taken off the mail redirect, and I've got the mortgage account details. 31 Lark Rise, Davenport. All we've got on that is the credit check. I cancelled the mail redirect yesterday.' I really had got a result tonight. The two addresses Liz has just read out were identical with the ones Rachel Lieberman had already given me.

'So can we speed them up? Bring them in ahead of schedule?' Jack asked.

'We can try to speed things up at our end. But if we're going to have to find outside mortgagers to finance the remortgages, that's almost certainly going to slow the process down,' Liz said. I could hear the worry in her voice, in spite of the tinny quality of the bug's relay.

'Don't worry,” Jack soothed. 'It's all going to be OK.'

Not if I had anything to do with it, it wasn't.

21

Bank managers or traffic wardens. It's got to be a close run thing which we hate the most. I mean, if you got the chance to embarrass someone on prime time TV, would you choose the bank manager who refused your overdraft or the traffic warden who ticketed your car while you nipped into Marks amp; Spencer for a butty? I only had to talk to the guy in charge of Ted Barlow's finances to know that he deserved the worst that Jeremy Beadle could do.

To begin with, he wouldn't even talk to me, not even to arrange an appointment. 'Client confidentiality,' he explained superciliously. I told him through clenched teeth that I probably knew more about his client's current problems than he did, since I was employed by said client. I restrained myself from mentioning that Mortensen and Brannigan had standards of confidentiality and service that were a damn sight higher than his. We don't sell our customer list to junk mail financial services outfits; we don't indulge ourselves on the old boys' network to blackball people whose faces don't fit; and, strangely enough, we actually work the hours that suit our clients rather than ourselves.

But Mr. Leonard Prudhoe wasn't having any. Finally, I had to give up. There was only one way I was going to get to see this guy. I rang Ted and asked him to set the meeting up. 'Have you sorted it all out?' he asked. 'Do you know what's been going on?'

'Pretty much,' I said. 'But whatever you do, don't so much as hint to anyone, and I mean anyone, that anything's changed.' I explained that he'd have to set up a meeting with Prudhoe so we could get the whole thing sorted out. Then, if you come to the office beforehand, I'll fill you in first.'

'Can't you tell me now? I'm on pins,” he said.

'I've got a couple of loose ends to tie up, Ted. But if you can fix up to see Prudhoe this afternoon, I should be able to give you chapter and verse then. OK?'

The relief in his voice was heartwarming. 'I can't tell you how pleased I am, Miss Brannigan. You've no idea what it's been like, wondering if I was going to lose everything I've worked for. You've just got no idea,' he burbled on.

I might not have, but I had a shrewd idea who did. When I managed to disentangle myself from his effusive