One Good Turn

excitement out of her voice.

“Murdered?” Jackson echoed.

“I was eating lunch with Richard Mott yesterday, and today he’s dead. Caught the umpire’s eye and Bob’s your uncle-gone.” She pronounced “gone” as “gawn” in a Dick Van Dyke kind of cockney. She seemed positively euphoric compared with this morning. “The police have been round interviewing everyone. Murdered, Jackson,” she said again, relishing the word. They were standing at the door of the sweatbox that passed for a female dressing room in Julia’s venue, into which actresses from another play were also crammed, most of them in their underwear. Jackson tried not to look. He felt as if he were backstage at a strip show, albeit a rather highbrow one, where people said, “I can’t believe it, he was in my light the whole show yesterday.” Julia herself had changed out of her sackcloth-and-ashes costume but was still dithering, unwilling to leave the world of performance behind. Of course, for Julia every day was a performance in one way or an-other.

“You said you had a drink with him,” Jackson said. “You didn’t say you ate.”

“Does it matter?” Julia frowned.

“Well, not now,” Jackson said.

“What do you mean, ‘not now’? Would it have mattered if he was still alive?” Julia’s husky voice rose to a more theatrical pitch. She could have played to the whole of the Albert Hall without amplification if she’d wanted to. “I had a cheese roll, he had pasta, it was hardly cunnilingus.”

The underwear-clad actresses all turned to stare at them. “Please,” Jackson hissed. When had everything between them become so jagged? Had Richard Mott paid for lunch? No such thing as a free lunch, except for the biggest fish.

“And how are you feeling, Julia?” Julia said. “How did your preview go?”

“Sorry,” Jackson said. “How did your preview go?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Another preview? Tonight?” Jackson said.

“Well, God knows we need one,” Julia said, drawing hard on a cigarette and then breaking out into a fit of filthy coughing. They were standing in the street outside the venue. Just over twenty-four hours ago Jackson had witnessed Honda Man trying to kill Peugeot Guy on this very spot.

“I told you this morning,” Julia said vaguely when her scarred lungs had recovered from the coughing bout.

“I didn’t see you this morning,” Jackson said.

“You don’t listen,” Julia said. What a strangely wifely thing for her to say.

“I didn’t not listen,” Jackson said. “I didn’t see you.”

“That’s okay, isn’t it?” Julia said, ignoring him. “You don’t have plans?”

He sighed. “No, I don’t have plans. What about now? We could have a drink. Afternoon tea?” Surely she would respond to those two words.

“It’s much too late for afternoon tea,” Julia said crossly. Her left eyelid twitched, and she took another long, desperate drag on her cigarette. “And Tobias is about to give us notes.”

“You always have notes,” Jackson grumbled.

“Well, thank goodness for that,” Julia snapped, “because we cer-tainly need as much help as we can get.” She ground out the cig-arette beneath the sole of her boot. She was wearing black lace-up boots with a high heel that made Jackson have unchaste thoughts about Victorian governesses.

“I’m sorry,” she said, suddenly contrite, pressing herself against him. He felt her body slacken, as if her strings had just been cut, and he rested his chin on the top of her head. She was taller than usual because of the boots. They both kept their arms by their sides, just leaning against each other like two unbalanced people trying to hold each other up. He smelled her perfume, something spicy like cinnamon that she hadn’t worn before. He noticed for the first time that her earrings were tiny porcelain pansies. He did-n’t think he’d seen them before, either. Her hair was mad as usual, you really could imagine birds nesting in it, he wouldn’t have been surprised if one evening a flock of rooks returned to roost there. (“Wouldn’t that be wonderful?” Julia said.) A chopstick that, in a victory of creativity over physics, seemed to be holding the whole edifice in place nearly poked Jackson’s eye out.

There was a poster on the wall behind them for Looking for the Equator in Greenland. It showed Julia reaching out to the audience in a manner that Julia said was supposed to be beseeching but to Jackson looked whimsical. The faces of the other cast members were stacked in a kind of pyramid around her, in a way that was, unfortunately, reminiscent of Queen in the video for “Bohemian Rhapsody.” It was pasted next to one for Richard Mott’s COMIC VIAGRA FOR THE MIND. Someone had taken a felt-tip pen and scrawled “Canceled” across his face.

She stepped away from him and said, “The preview should be finished about nine, although we ran over this afternoon. We’ll probably go for something to eat, then for a drink. Come and join us, help us lick our wounds.” He wished she was in a good play, one the critics would rave about, one that ended up transferring to the West End.

He had a sudden, horrible thought. “Your sister’s not coming up for your first night, is she?”

“Amelia?”

It was odd the way she said that, as if there were a choice of sis-ters, as if Olivia and Sylvia were still alive. Maybe they were still alive for Julia.

“Yes, Amelia.”

“No. I told her to come later, when the play’s run in a bit. She won’t like it anyway, it’s not her kind of thing. She likes Shakespeare, Ibsen, Chekhov. I thought she could come up and stay for a few days. That would be nice, wouldn’t it?”

“Hold me back.”

“Don’t be like that, Jackson. Amelia’s all I’ve got.”

Jackson refrained from saying the obvious “You’ve got me” in case it provoked more arguments.

“Oh, I nearly forgot,” Julia said, suddenly animated (when had her moods started changing so quickly?). She reached into her big carpetbag, pulling out an assortment of God knows what before finding what she was looking for. “Free tickets!” she said with an enforced gaiety. When Jackson made no attempt to take them, she pushed them into his hand.

“Who did you have lunch with to get those?” he asked. Why couldn’t he keep his mouth shut? He’d meant it to come out as a joke (not a good one, admittedly), but it ended up sounding offensive. Julia just laughed, though, and said, “Oh, sweetie, I had to fuck two clowns and an elephant to get those tickets. The circus, Jackson, they’re tickets for the circus, they were handing them out for free, drumming up trade, the circus wallah chappie gave them to me. It’ll be good sport. Go. Relive the childhood you never had.”

“A lime daiquiri and a Glenfiddich, please,” Jackson said to the barman. It was a nice old- fashioned pub, no music or game ma-chines, lots of polished wood and stained glass. He wasn’t a whiskey drinker by nature, yet he seemed to have drunk a lot of the stuff since arriving. It must have been in his Scottish blood all this time, calling to him.

“And yet you’ve never visited Scotland before?” Louise Mon-roe said. “That’s odd, don’t you think? Do you think you’re avoiding something? Psychologically speaking.” No small talk then, Jackson thought, none of that getting-to- know-you stuff, pussy-footing around each other’s past. “I was in France on holiday.”“Oh? What part?” or “You like country music? What a coincidence, so do I.” Cutting straight to the chase instead-“Are you psychologically damaged? Are you in avoidance about something?”

“I don’t know,” Jackson said. “Are you? Avoiding something?”

“Question with a question,” she said as if he’d just failed a test. “The psychopathology of it is interesting, though, isn’t it?” “That’s a big word,” Jackson said. “Pretty and smart, huh?” “You may behave like an idiot, but you’re not stupid.” Jackson wondered if that was supposed to be a compliment. “Anyway, cheers,” she said, taking a healthy swig of her lime daiquiri.

“Confusion to kings and tyrants,” Jackson responded, raising his glass. He was under the impression that a