at school and Sofia was going this time. Things had changed. She had changed.
“Why isn’t Joe picking you up?” her mother asked.
“We’re meeting there,” Sofia said. “He’s not a boyfriend-boyfriend.”
“I thought he was. You’ve been going to the movies together on weekends, almost every Saturday since St. Patrick’s Day.”
“Just matinees. Things are different now. We’re just friends. This isn’t a date. But he’ll walk me home, so you don’t have to worry. Okay?”
“What time does the dance end?”
“Eleven.”
“And you’ll come straight home.” A command, not a question.
“Sure.”
Sofia shouldn’t have agreed so readily; it made her mother suspicious. She studied her daughter’s face, trying to figure out the exact nature of the lie. Reluctantly, she let Sofia go, yanking her dress down in the back as if she could extend the cloth. Sofia had grown some since her birthday and the pink dress was a little short, but short was the fashion of the day, as were the platform shoes she clattered along in. She had practiced in them off and on for two weeks, and they still felt like those Dutch shoes, big as boats around her skinny ankles, Olive Oyl sandals. Thank God they had ankle straps or she would have fallen out of them in less than a block.
Two blocks down, where she should have crossed the boulevard to go up to the school, she turned right instead, heading for the tavern. She didn’t go in, of course, but waited by the back door, which was just a back door on Saturday nights, nothing more. Within five minutes, a red Corvette pulled into the parking lot.
“Hey,” said the man in the driver’s seat, a man she now knew as Brian. He wore his leather jacket with the collar turned up, although the night was a little warm for it.
“Hey,” she said, getting into the car and pulling her dress so it didn’t bunch up around her.
“Never seen you in a skirt before, Gino.” That was his joke, calling her “Gino” after Gino Marchetti.
“And I’ve never seen you in anything but that leather jacket.”
“Well, technically, this is our first date. There’s a lot we don’t know about each other, isn’t there?”
Sofia smiled in what she hoped was a mysterious and alluring way.
“Maybe we should get to know each other better. What do you think?”
She nodded.
“My place okay?”
She nodded again. It had taken her three months to get to this point-three months of careful conversation in Gordon’s parking lot, which began when she threw the ball at the red Corvette, presumably in a fit of celebration upon scoring a touchdown. Brian, who had just pulled up, got out and started screaming, but he settled down fast when Sofia apologized, prettily and tearfully. Plus, she hadn’t damaged the car, not a bit. After that afternoon, he would stand in the lot for a few minutes, watching them play. Watching her play, she was sure of it. He brought sodas for everyone. He asked if they wanted to go for ice cream. He took them, one at a time, on rides around the block. Sofia always went last. The rides were short, no more than five minutes, but a lot can happen in five minutes. He told her that he managed a Merry-Go-Round clothing store, offered to get her a discount. She told him she was bored with school and thinking about dropping out. He said he had been married for a while, but he was single now. “I’m single, too,” Sofia said, and he laughed as if it were the funniest thing in the world.
“Maybe we should go out sometimes, us both being single and all,” he said. That had been yesterday.
The date made, it was understood that he would not come to her house, shake hands with her father, and make small talk with her mother while Sofia turned a round brush in her hair, trying to feather her bangs. Other things were understood, too. That it would not be a movie date or a restaurant date. Sofia knew what she was signing up for. Her only concern was that he might want to drive someplace, stay in the Corvette, when she wanted to see where he lived.
So she said as much, when he asked what she wanted to do. “Why don’t we just go to your place?”
His eyebrows shot up. “Why not?” He passed her a brown bag that he had held between his legs as he drove and she took a careful sip. It wasn’t her first drink, but she recognized that this was something sweet, liquor overlaid with a peppermint flavor, a girly drink for someone assumed to be inexperienced. Thoughtful of him.
Brian lived out Essex way, in some new apartments advertising move-in specials and a swimming pool. She hoped it wouldn’t take too long because she had only so much time, but she was surprised at just how fast it happened. One minute they were kissing, and it wasn’t too bad. She almost liked it. Then all of a sudden he was hovering above her, asking if she was fixed up, a question she didn’t understand right away. When she did, she shook her head, and he said, “Shit,” but pulled a rubber over himself, rammed into her and yelled at her to come, as if he were a coach or a gym teacher, exhorting her to do something difficult but not impossible.
“I…don’t…do that,” she panted out.
He took that as permission to do what he needed. Once finished, he pulled away quickly, if apologetically.
“Sorry, but if you’re not on the Pill, I can’t afford to hang around, you know? One little sperm gets out and my life is over. I’ve already got one kid to pay for.”
That detail had not come up in their rides around the block.
“Uh-huh.”
“You ready to go back?”
“Can’t we watch some television, maybe try again?”
“Didn’t get the feeling that you cared for it.”
“I’m just…quiet. I liked it.” She placed a tentative hand on his chest, which was narrow and a little sunken once out of the leather jacket. “I liked it a lot.”
He chose the wrestling matches on channel 45, then arranged the covers over them and put his arm around her.
“You know, wrestling’s fixed,” she said.
“Who says?”
“Everybody.” She didn’t want to mention her father.
“So? It’s the only decent thing on.”
“Just seems like cheating,” she said. “I don’t like games like that. Like, for example…poker.”
“Poker? I hardly knew her.” He gave her rump a friendly pat and laughed. She tried to laugh, too.
“Still,” she said, gesturing at the television. “It doesn’t seem right. Pretending.”
“Well, I guess that’s why you don’t do it.”
“Wrestle?”
“Fake it. You know, it wouldn’t hurt you to act like you liked it, just a little. If you’re frigid, you’re frigid, but why should a guy be left feeling like he didn’t do right by you?”
“I’ll try,” she said. “I can do better. Maybe if there could be more kissing first.”
He tried, she had to give him that. He slowed down, kissed her a lot, and she could see how it might be better. She still didn’t feel moved, but she took his advice, shuddering and moaning like the women in the movies, the R-rated ones she and Joe had been sneaking into this spring. At any rate, whatever she did wore him out, and he fell asleep.
She didn’t bother to put on her clothes, although she did carry her purse with her as she moved from room to room. When she didn’t find the velvet box right away, she found herself taking other things in her panic and anger-a Baltimore Orioles ashtray, a pair of purple candles, a set of coasters, a Bachman-Turner Overdrive eight- track, an unused bar of Ivory soap in the bathroom. Her clunky sandals off, she was quiet and light on her feet, and he didn’t stir at all until she tried a small drawer in his dresser. The drawer stuck a little and Sofia gave it a wrenching pull to force it open. He whimpered in his sleep and she froze, certain she was about to be caught, but he didn’t do anything but roll over. It was the velvet box that had made the drawer stick, wedged against the top like peanut butter on the roof of someone’s mouth. But when snapped it open, the box was empty. In her grief and frustration, she gave a little cry.
“What the-”
He was out of bed in an instant, grabbing her wrist and pushing her face into the pea-green carpet, crunchy with dirt and food and other things.
“Put it back, you thievin’ whore, or I’ll-”
She grabbed one of her shoes and hit him with it, landing a solid blow on his ear. He roared and fell back, but
