lesson that had gone with it. He'd been five years old and he'd gone home in tears. He'd been comforted by his mother, who'd made him feel better, but she hadn't been able to tell him that it would never happen again. He had known something was lost for him, from that moment on. You learn about evil slowly but surely, he thought. Prejudice. Hatred. Compulsion. Murder. Each lesson tears away a bit of the hopefulness of youth.
He put the car in gear and drove the few blocks to the Shriver house. There were lights on in the kitchen and living room and for an instant, he considered walking up to the front door and going inside. He would be welcomed, he knew. They would offer him coffee, perhaps something to eat. Once we were friends, but no longer. Now I am nothing to them except a reminder of terrible things. They would show him to a seat in the living room, then they would politely wait for him to tell them why he had come by, and he would be forced to concoct something vaguely official-sounding. He would be unable to tell them anything real about what had taken place because he was unsure himself what the reality was.
And finally, he realized, they would get to talking about their daughter, and they would say that they missed seeing his own child come around, and this would be too hard to hear. It would all be too hard to hear.
But he waited outside, simply watching the house until the lights blinked off and whatever fitful sleep the Shrivers found late at night arrived.
He felt an odd invisibility, a liquid connectivity moving slowly through the black air. For a moment he considered the awful thought that Robert Earl Ferguson felt the same, moving through the darkness, letting it hide him from sight. Is that the way it is? he asked himself. He couldn't answer his own question. He drove down streets he'd known since his childhood, streets that whispered of age and continuity, before bumping into the newer, suburban subdivisions that shouted of change and the future. He felt the texture of the town, almost like a farmer rubbing soil between his fingers. He found himself on his own street; he spotted a marked police cruiser parked halfway down the block and crunched to a stop behind it.
The uniformed officer jumped instantly from behind the wheel, hand on his weapon, the other wielding a flashlight which he shone in Tanny's direction.
He got out of his car. 'It's me, Lieutenant Brown,' he said quietly.
The young officer approached him. 'Jesus, Lieutenant, you scared the hell out of me.'
'Sorry. Just checking.'
'You heading inside, sir? Want me to take off?'
'No. Stay. I have some other business to attend to.'
'No problem.'
'See anything unusual?'
'No, sir. Well, yes, sir, one thing, but probably nothing. Late-model dark Ford. Out-of- state plates. Rolled by twice about an hour ago. Slow-like, as if he was watching me. Shoulda got the plate numbers, but missed them. Thought I'd go after him, but he didn't come by again. That's all. No big deal.'
'You see the driver?'
'No, sir. First time, I didn't really notice. Just paid attention, like, the second time he rolled on by. That's what got my attention. Probably nothing to it. Somebody down visiting relatives got lost, more'n likely.'
Tanny Brown looked at the young policeman and nodded. He felt no fear, just a cold understanding that maybe death had slowly cruised past.
'Yes. More than likely. But you stay alert, all right?'
'Yes, sir. I'm gonna be relieved in a half hour or so. I'll make sure whoever shows gets the word about the Ford.'
Tanny Brown lifted his hand to his forehead, as if in salute, and returned to his own car. He looked once toward his house. The lights were off. School night, he thought. A wave of domestic responsibilities burst over him. He realized much of his life had been obscured by the pursuit of Robert Earl Ferguson. He did not feel guilty about this; it was in the nature of police work to reach an agreement with obsession, shutting off the normalcy of life. He felt a surge of comfort. Good for you, Dad. Make them get their homework done early, shut off the damn television before they can complain too hard, and get them into bed.
For an instant, he wanted to go inside and peer down at the sleeping faces of his daughters, perhaps look in on the old man, who was probably snoring in a lounge chair; a whiskey dream in his head. The old man often took a glass or two after the girls were asleep; it helped fog the pain of arthritis. On occasion, Tanny Brown joined his father in a glass; his own pains sometimes needing similar blocking. He found a smile on his own face, a satisfaction of domesticity. For an instant he imagined his dead wife beside him in the car, and he had half a mind to talk to her.
What would I say? he asked himself.
That I haven't done all that badly, he thought. But now I need to put things right. Put the broken things back together as best as I can.
Make it all safe again.
He nodded and steered the car away from the curb. He drove away, passing through familiar routes, past remembered places. He could sense Ferguson's presence like some bad smell lingering over the town. He felt better moving about, as if by staying alert, he served as some sort of shield. He did not even consider sleep; instead he traveled up and down through the roads of his memory, waiting for enough of the night to end so he would be able to see clearly enough to do whatever he had to do.
27. Two Empty Chambers
At first the dawn light seemed reluctant to force its way into the shadows. It gave doubt to shapes, turning the world into a quiet, suspect place. It had still been dark when Tanny Brown picked up Cowart and Shaeffer from the motel. They had driven through empty streets, past lamps and neon signs, weak illumination that only heightened the inevitable sense of loneliness that accompanies the early morning. They passed few other cars, only an occasional pickup truck. Cowart saw no one on the sidewalks. He spotted a few people sitting along a counter inside a doughnut shop; that was the only sign that they were not alone.
Brown drove swiftly, cruising through stop signs and two red lights, and within a few minutes they had passed through the town and were heading into the surrounding countryside. Pachoula seemed to stumble and fall behind them; the earth appeared to reach out and entangle them, dragging them inside the variegated maze of drooping willow trees, huge, twisted bramble bushes, and stands of pine. Light and dark, muted greens, browns and grays, all seemed to blend together fluidly, making it seem as if they were heading into a shifting sea of forest.
The police lieutenant turned off the main road, and the car shuddered and bumped as it hit the hard-packed dirt that cut beneath the canopy of trees toward Ferguson's grandmother's shack. Cowart felt a fearful surge of familiarity, as if there was something awful and yet reassuring in the idea that he'd been down the road before.
He tried to anticipate what would happen but found only an unsettling excitement. He had a quick memory of the letter he'd received so many months ago:… a crime that I DID NOT COMMIT. Gripping the armrest, he stared straight ahead.
From the back seat, Andrea Shaeffer's voice penetrated the thick air. I thought you said you'd arrange for backup. I don't see anybody. What's going on?'
Brown answered abruptly, with a clipped tone designed to preclude further questions, 'We can get help if we need it.'
'What about some uniforms? Don't we need some uniforms?'
'We'll be okay.'
'Where's the backup?'
He gritted his teeth and answered bitterly, 'It's waiting.'
'Where?'
