'Perhaps for a short while, then,' she said. 'But if you find that I am not what you expect, then you must tell me so and I will leave. I will not be anyone's charity case.'
Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. 'I would not bring anyone into my own home out of charity, Lily,' she said. 'I have far too great a regard for my own comfort. But I agree to your terms. And they will work both ways. If you find after a while that I am impossible to work for, then you must tell me so and I will help you find something else. Can you be ready to leave in the morning?'
'Sooner,' Lily said fervently. 'But I promised that I would stay tonight.'
'And quite right too,' Elizabeth said. 'Neville is not happy with the turn of events, Lily. Not happy at all. You are not intending to leave behind all your new clothes by any chance, are you?'
'I must,' Lily said. 'They were bought for his wife. I am not his wife.'
'But he would be dreadfully hurt if you did not take them with you.' Elizabeth told her. 'Sometimes pride can be selfish. Will you take them as a gift from him? It is not wrong, my dear. It is not greedy. It is the right thing to do. It would be cruel not to.'
Lily bit her lip. But she nodded.
'Splendid!' Elizabeth got to her feet. 'We will leave early. Try to sleep?' She bent and kissed Lily's cheek.
Lily nodded. 'Thank you,' she said. But she stopped Elizabeth before she reached the door. One troubling possibility had occurred to her. 'Will the Duke of Portfrey travel with us?'
'No. Provoking man.' Elizabeth laughed. 'He left this afternoon. He is not going straight to London and may not be there for a few weeks. But he did not abandon me, you know—not that I have any claim on his company anyway. Webster and Sadie will be accompanying us in their own carriage—and Wilma, of course. And Joseph will be leaving at the same time as us, though I expect he will ride on ahead at a pace more suited to his youth and gender. Fortunate man!'
Lily nodded and felt enormous relief. The Duke of Portfrey had gone. He would not be in London for a while. But he had left this afternoon? Suddenly? After he had made his attempt on her life, perhaps? Had he assumed success? But she was horrified by the direction of her thoughts. There had been no man. And even if there had been, there was no proof he had been the Duke of Portfrey. It might as easily have been a woman anyway. But if it had been Lauren, then there would be no more stalking or attempts at creating accidents. Lauren would be free to secure Neville's affections again. In all probability there had been no one at all. That fallen rock really had been an accident.
She closed her eyes after Elizabeth had left and rested her head against the back of the chair. She thought about her wedding and her wedding night, about the dream of reunion that had kept her sane during her captivity, about the long, lonely, dangerous trek back to Lisbon and the fruitless search for him there and for someone to believe her story, about the long voyage to England and Newbury, about finding him in the church in the village about to marry someone else, about all the events of the past week and a half.
About last night.
Two tears escaped from beneath her eyelashes and ran unchecked down her cheeks to drip onto her dress.
And about this afternoon's disclosures in the library.
She had not yet fully faced the reality of a shattered dream. She dared not look into the future. It appeared brighter now, or at least more secure, than it had an hour ago, it was true. But it was to be a future lived without
There had always been Neville since she was fourteen, even though for four of those years he had been unattainable and for a year and a half he had been unreachable. But always there had been the dream of him. Dream and reality had touched last night—she had been quite aware even at the time that it was a mere touch that could not last. But she had not realized that so soon they would be completely severed. She had not realized that by tonight she would have reached the end of her dream.
Even though she still loved him and always would.
Even though he loved her.
The end of the impossible dream.
Well, she thought, opening her eyes and getting to her feet in order to prepare for bed, she would survive. That had always been the chief purpose in life of the people with whom she had grown up—simply to survive. She would do it. Perhaps somewhere in the future there was another dream waiting to be dreamed. She could not imagine it now, but she could hope.
She could dream about a dream. She smiled at the absurdity—and the sustaining hope—of the thought.
***
Neville did not get drunk. He sat in the library with the Marquess of Attingsborough and toyed with the temptation to seek temporary oblivion while he downed two brandies in quick succession, but he drank no more. Liquor would not cure what ailed him. It would only cloud his mind for what must be faced in the morning.
Lily was leaving him in the morning.
'I wish there were something to say, Nev,' the marquess said, setting down his own half-empty glass—his first. 'When I was at the church with you nine days ago, I thought there could be no worse disaster than what happened. But there was, damn it. There was this.'
'Do you think wringing her neck would help?' Neville chuckled, but the attempt at humor, black as it was, only made him feel worse. He rested his head against the back of his chair and closed his eyes.
'She is a rare one,' Joseph said. He chuckled inappropriately. 'Who else but Lily would have the deuced nerve to refuse you? Especially when there seems to be nothing else for her. And more especially when she is devilish fond of you.'
'Perhaps Elizabeth will persuade her to change her mind,' Neville said hopefully. 'What will I do if she fails? I promised Lily's father I would look after her. I made her vows. I—Well, all this has little to do with promises and vows. I—You would not understand, Joe.'
'Being an inanimate block who has never rumbled into love and dreamed that he has found that one and only love he would never tumble out of again?' his cousin said ruefully. 'Your feelings for her are pretty obvious, Nev,
