I feel you come, just before I am about to release the tension that has pleasured me. Your lightness floats on me as you let go. Before I can come, you raise your hips and unsheathe my penis while the rest of you remains on me. You rock your hips and brush your pubic hair along my shaft, leaving moisture on me I will always smell.
Untamed, my penis tingles and strengthens. You peel slowly away from me.
Light floods between us. Dawn brings the squawk of a feral cockatoo which turns my face toward the window. The sky dazzles me. I turn back to look at you, and you are gone.
I’m still hard, throbbing… but unfulfilled.
“So, you say this happens to you almost every morning?”
“Yes, Elder Anton.”
“But we really have no proof that you are capable of…” He paused, probably looking for words that would not offend. Offend his own value system, that is. “It’s quite clear that you cannot get an erection. We have administered the three prescribed tests and it hasn’t stood the test, so to speak.”
“But Elder, I get it everyday, in the morning.”
“So you say. But the council needs to see it. Our orders are very clear—when appropriately stimulated, candidates for elderhood must show… arousal. Otherwise, as the Holy Chapters point out, the vow of chastity does not mean any sacrifice.’
“I know that, Elder.” I was desperate. Yet I paused. “But why would I want to join your Order if I don’t sense that I have been called? It isn’t exactly a life of fun and games I am asking for.”
There was a long pause. “The Inspired Ones were all-seeing. They knew that our Order could become the refuge of all manner of men hiding their inadequacies behind our restrictions and good repute.” Another pause.
“That’s why we have the tests. On admission, all Elders must be fully functional men who have actively given up the enjoyment of those functions.” This was old ground.
“Yet it does not seem you are seeking refuge.” He paused to look at me fully. ‘And your earnestness is clearly deep. I will have to call the Council.” He trotted out of the Interview Room. About fifteen minutes passed. The door opened again. Elder Anton returned with another elder. They were, both of them, solemn.
“This is Elder Renee from the Seclusion Order. In matters such as these, we call on another Order to help us. As things are, we cannot admit you into our order. All three arousal tests have proven negative, and by this stage, all previous unqualified candidates have dropped out on their own.” The other elder spoke. “We’re honestly very surprised that you’re still so insistent on continuing. In fact, we are impressed.” Short pause. “But we cannot let our impressions, strong though they may be, undermine the sacred laws of the Inspired Ones.”
“I see.” I got ready to leave.
“We took a closer look at the Holy Chapters, and discovered that while we cannot let our impressions decide your entry, we are allowed to give you one more chance if we are collectively of the opinion that the standard tests might have been unfair to you.”
“The Council is of that opinion.”
I stood naked in a room so dimly lit I could not even see its walls. I had been brought in blindfolded and told not to move beyond a chalk circle drawn on the floor. This was my last chance to join the Order, to prove that I could have an erection, even ejaculation, so that I could take a vow of chastity and truly abstain.
I waited until I tired and felt cold from my nakedness. I also tired because, once again, I had that… encounter… in my sleep. It woke me up even earlier than usual, and I did not sleep after that.
Being tired was not going to help, and I was not hopeful. Previous attempts had been well calibrated and I didn’t know why I had not responded.
The Order had tried to arouse me through visual, auditory, even smell stimuli.
But I remained soft. I tried very hard to invoke your presence to help me harden, but it only seemed to make matters worse!
A door opened and a faint glow filled the space. A female form, covered from head to toe in a white robe, came into view. She danced, with the grace of a ballerina. As she moved, her thin robe pressed against her otherwise naked form. Perhaps it was this, but also probably because I could smell her, that I sensed the fleeting touches of animal energy tingling my body. She danced around me, but just out of my reach. I could not keep my eyes off her.
There was no music! She danced, full of grace, to silence. Her robe parted to provide a glimpse of her pubis fettered only by a gentle bush. Her skin glowed amid the dimness. Her robe parted further to reveal her breasts heaving to her dance.
I reached out, but then remembered the chalk circle. I stretched out my hand and just managed to touch and hold her robe. It came off in my hand.
Only her face remained covered.
Through her hood, our eyes met and I had to have her. I would break the rules and leave the circle; and, of course, the Order!
I dropped the robe and stepped out of the circle. She froze at my transgression. I reached out to touch her and saw her looking down. HELL!
It was still… soft. I was about to drag her into sex with me and I was still soft. I froze too. I looked up at her and noticed she was uncovering her head.
“Sister.” It was Elder Anton. “Don’t!”
“Sister?” I gasped. From the Seclusion Order? I felt sick. By then, she had run out of the room naked.
“As you can see for yourself, you have failed to achieve arousal.” Elder Anton was agitated. “We cannot admit you into the Order. This has been your last chance. Please leave the room, dress and go. Do not come back to us again.’
It was then dark, and silent. I walked to where I felt the door was, opened it and started walking…
…across twenty years into this room, beside her.
I don’t know why I’d bothered. Since that day two decades ago, my only ‘arousal’ had been with you. I’d disappointed every other woman, even with medication. Ten years ago, I’d stopped trying or even responding.
When she poses at my figure-drawing classes, she puts her entire soul and body into the stillness of the pieces. My students love her for her beauty and ease, as do I.
Then she offers to show me her room. I accept, knowing she is ‘safe’.
So I am here.
After seeing her room, we chat. Our voices drift across the evening into the night—there seems much to chatter on about. It is almost morning and we are tired. She asks if she could lie down. I say it is her place. She asks if I’m tired, and if I’d do the same. There is only one bed.
The chatter floats and I fall asleep, preparing to meet you.
I am without clothes, and you are on top of me. You have slipped your vagina around my penis and are rubbing it with the gestures of sex. As you do so, you grip and let go of me, inducing a swell of pleasure, I also sense your pleasure.
I feel you come, just before I am about to release the tension that has pleasured me. Your lightness floats on me as you let go. I wait for you to raise your hips and unsheathe my penis… but you go on. You rock your hips with me still inside and your scent, now mixed with mine, floods my senses.
You go on, and we thrash and thrash, and I move into a past when I had known pleasure.
I come, and come, and come.
Light floods between us. Dawn brings the squawk of a feral cockatoo which turns my face toward the window. The sky dazzles me. I turn back to look at you, and you are… her!
“We…?” You look at me, dripping with joy, wafting in our scent.
“Twenty years ago, I fell in love with you before I was born. I knew you would love me too, but you wanted to join that Order and I would have lost you forever. I had to keep you from that and from the other women, because I know you would have married them. I am sorry I made you wait so long.” We kiss.
