something. I don’t entirely remember why. Whatever it was, I know that I did it and was on the way out without noticing the bit of art work Harry had left for me, when some vibration caught me at the door and something made me look back and see, out of the corner of my eye, a piece of paper on top of my pillow.
(Parenthetical observation: Once I saw a movie called The Counterfeit Traitor, with William Holden and Lilli Palmer. World War Twice, and he’s a Swede spying for the allies, and she’s his German girlfriend, a Good German, and she’s helping the allied cause too, and she sees the damage done to her city by an allied air raid, which she feels she helped bring about, and she’s consumed with guilt and everything, and she’s also a Catholic, so she carries her guilt to the nearest church and dumps it onto some poor priest. And when she’s finished her confession and waiting to hear what her penance is, the curtain is drawn and the “priest” is revealed in an SS uniform.
(The look on Lilli Palmer’s face must have been identical to the look on mine when I picked up that fucking piece of paper.
(End of parenthetical observation.)
The drawing, which I still own, and would not part with for the world, was far more precisely detailed than Harry’s work generally is, yet the style was unmistakably his. There was a girl who was a slight caricature of Priss, the teeth a bit more prominent than hers, the eyes somewhat more hyperthyroid. There was another girl who was a slight caricature of me, the breasts oversized, mouth fuller, and so on. The girl who looked like me had a tongue shaped like a penis, and was in the process of inserting it into the girl who looked like Priss, and while all of this was going on, a man’s face, a slight caricature of the artist as a young voyeur, loomed in a window over the bed and leered down at the two girls.
The caption read, “What do they know about love uptown?” That’s an old and not very funny joke, and if you don’t already know it you’re not going to read it here, because it’s a bore. But it does fit the circumstances well enough.
I stood there looking at this and trembling, literally trembling, and then after I don’t know how long I realized that not only was I trembling, which was understandable enough, but that my underpants were sopping, and not because I had peed in them, which would have also been understandable enough, but because I was flowing like a river, my cunt was swimming, and that, it seemed to me, was not understandable at all.
Priss invited me shopping that afternoon. I said I was in the middle of a book and I thought I would stretch out and finish it. She went shopping. I smoked three cigarettes one after the other. Then I went out to the shed.
Harry was working on a cartoon. He looked up and our eyes locked.
I said, “I got your picture.”
“And?”
“You made my breasts too large.”
“God made your breasts too large. But I’m not complaining and neither should you.”
“You made them larger than He did.”
“Well, I paint what I see.”
“You were watching.”
“Yes.”
“For very long?”
“No.”
“There’s something I have to do,” I said. “Just stay right there, don’t move, there’s this thing that I have to do.”
Utter compulsion. One does what one must do. I walked toward him, taking off clothes as I walked, dropping them along the way. I went to him and got on my knees in front of his chair. I unzipped his pants and put my hand in and found his cock and took it out.
“You have a beautiful cock.”
I took it in both hands and felt its heat. I put my lips to its head and kissed it.
“I haven’t really liked a cock in such a long time,” I said. I didn’t know what I was saying, I never talked like this, but the words flowed out of my mouth as the juices had flowed out of my pussy, uncontrollably, automatically, involuntarily. “I love your cock,” I went on. “Last night I heard you putting it in Priss, and this morning I ate her where it went in, and now I’m going to eat you. I love you and I love Priss and I love your beautiful cock.”
My mouth felt empty. I opened my mouth and took his cock in it and my mouth didn’t feel empty any more. He had grown hard the minute I took him in my hands and now he was hard as a rock and very large and there seemed to be a pulse working in his cock, I could feel it with my tongue. I slid my mouth as far down his cock as I could so that the head of it was touching the back of my throat. Usually when I did this I wanted to gag. Not this time. I just wanted more.
I let it slide out again until I had only the tip of it between my lips. Back, forth, back, forth, and the nerve endings in my mouth were tingling like crazy. Real physical excitement, not just the thrill of doing this to him, of doing this to Prissy’s man, of doing this, but the thrill of a contact that was thrilling in and of itself, my mouth responding, my mouth getting fucked, my mouth, cuntlike, receiving him and digging it.
He was wearing dungarees. I put my hands on his thighs and felt the good coarse denim under my fingertips. I dug my fingers into his thighs and plunged up and down on his prick.
It seemed to me that I could taste Prissy on him. Impossible of course, I had heard him in the shower, he took a shower every morning, it was just in my imagination, but I thought I could, and I thought of him plunging simultaneously into my mouth and into Prissy’s cunt, as if his cock could magically be in two places at one time, in two people at one time, and I sucked him, I sucked him.
Robert Keith Dandridge always wanted to be sucked, and I was not that bad a wife, obliging him in that respect most of the time whether I wanted to do it or not. I almost never wanted to do it, and I almost always did it, but one thing I did was that I always made him indicate he wanted it. I never of my own accord dove down upon his prick. Not that it never occurred to me, but that I never had wanted to let him get the idea that this was something I wanted to do for its own sake, because it frankly wasn’t.
I was supposed to be reasonable good at it, I had in fact been told by boys and men who seemed in a position to know that I was reasonably good at it, and I was obviously good enough at it so that Robert Keith Dandridge never tired of that aspect of our life together, however tiresome he (like I) may have found the rest of it. But however good I might be at it, I did not like it with Robert Keith. Not even a little. The only thing I almost liked about it was that when I really did not feel in the mood for his weight on top of me I could give him a quick sucking and make him come that way and be spared a regular screwing. So it was now and then the lesser of two evils, and that was the best that could ever be said for it.
Not so with Harry. With him it was my idea, all my idea, and I really wanted to do it, and I did it, and had some hard-to-understand oral orgasm just as he had an easy-to-discern penile orgasm, and my throat muscles worked out of their own accord and I swallowed every drop, which again was something R.K.D. used to beg me to do (why should he care, the idiot?) and which I had never once done.
God knows why I had never done it before. For you readers who have never considered the problem at length, be advised that it solves the age-old question of how to dispose of a mouthful of love without soiling the carpet or running tediously for the toilet. Also it’s almost all protein, and good for you. Also it is a very loving thing to do, and men seem to appreciate it, and you for it.
I swallowed, and I sighed, and sighed again, and kept his now-softening penis in my mouth, unwilling to let it leave me. I began to be conscious once again of more than his penis and my mouth. I felt the hard earthen floor under my knees, and his hands in my long hair, and the cool air on my face and the backs of my hands.
I sensed something. A presence.
Rather neatly, I thought, without letting the now completely soft penis slip out of my mouth, I tilted my head slightly back and raised my eyes slightly up.
And saw my lover Harry’s handsome face.
Ah, yes. My lover Harry’s handsome face was turned to the side, and my lover Harry’s sensual mouth was fastened to the breast of (surprise!) my lover Priscilla, who had taken off all her clothes, and who was cradling Harry’s head in one hand and had the other hand in my auburn tresses.
I looked at her, too numb to think or feel anything, and she smiled, she beamed, she glowed.
“I knew you would be together,” she said. “I drove a half mile and then came back. I left the car down on the road. I looked in the house, and you weren’t there, and I knew you would be back here.”
