'Template?' Jonathan snapped at him. William's eyes glittered. Look at those lenses dive for cover. William was in his early twenties, uncomely, gay, nervous. He was supposed to have the agreed agenda and a place for agreed action notes. 'Ah. It's just here. ' When William found his sheet, the agenda section was left blank.
Jonathan tapped the white space, and chuckled, and shook his head, like an indulgent father. 'Billy, Billy, what am I going to do with you? Couldn't you remember to print it out? Here, use mine and photocopy it to me after the meeting. Did we get the form letters out?'
Billy had. Well, what do you know?
'All sixty? Great. Thanks very much. Now. The new fax number. We sent all our customers the new fax number, right? Fine. Then why did the Commission fax us a copy of a tender brief on the old number?'
Billy's face fell.
'They sent us a tender, Billy, and it went to our old number, which is with Interactive Media now, who are not necessarily our greatest chums, where it sat for a full afternoon. So now we have four days instead of a working week to develop a full tender with designs. Do you see the problem here?'
Billy face went white and distressed.
The real problem, Jonathan cursed to himself, is that management expects me to make sales without any funding, so I have to use poor Billy from Support who is as sweet as a lamb, but Jeez! Jonathan watched as William scrambled through his shaggy files. OK.
Jonathan decided to try a new management technique. He tried to make himself fancy Billy sexually. LLA, Low Level Attraction, could generate good Team bonding. In fact, people with low to middle bisexuality scores had a favoured Starting-Gun Profile.
So Jonathan looked at Billy and tried, but Billy had chalk white skin and lank black hair, and spots, the thick, clotted, dumb kind of spot that never comes to a head.
I hate this guy, this puny, nervy little idiot; I just can't resist trying to break him.
'Um,' said Billy, miserable, balancing his spread-eagled file on his lap. 'Yeah, well, I, uh, didn't fax the Commission because it was among my problems to be resolved. '
'You mean you didn't know the Commission was one of your clients?' Jonathan managed to say it more in sorrow that in anger.
'I think it was that I didn't know who were our contact names there. '
Neither, now that he thought about it, did Jonathan. 'OK,' he sighed. 'Look. Talk to Clara, she'll know them, and then just send the notification you've got. Don't apologize or let them know that we didn't tell them in time. If they ask, the number has just changed. I don't want them to know we had this little hiccup. OK?'
'OK,' Billy murmured.
'And, Billy, please. Don't try to keep all your correspondence in one file? You'll find it easier if you keep things separate. '
Billy thanked him for the advice. Then he suggested that Jonathan might like to come around to his place for drinks.
I don't believe this. This kid was making a pass at him, he was so desperate. OK, we're both playing the same LLA game. How can we both win? Don't be judgmental, turn the attraction, if that was what you could call it, into friendliness, team bonding.
'That's a great idea, Billy. But I've been feeling bad about not inviting you to my place. I think you've met my wife, but you've never even seen my daughter. Are you free next week?'
Billy looked relieved. Jonathan was relieved too, and thanked him for the job he was doing, and in the general thanking and summing up the invitations were forgotten.
Billy left and Jonathan sat back and sighed. He was feeling tired a lot these days. He saw Sally's face, pink glossy lips parted, as she gave a tiny cry. He sat still for a moment, his eyes closed.
It was 9:57. Jonathan couldn't help himself. He checked his scores again. He really must stop doing this. It was like when he got hooked on the I Ching, and had to have Chaos therapy to kick it. But all he wanted was a breakdown, a fuller breakdown of this morning's score with Simon.
Verbal content 4. 79.
OK, I knew I was bad, but that bad?
Body Language 4. 5.
What? Oh, come on. What was I supposed to do, pick my nose? Jonathan actioned a more in-depth analysis. Artificiality, his machine told him, a lack of visible sincerity.
Christ! You can't move around this place. If I'd been sincere, I would have said, you fucked up that own- account job eighteen months ago, and you've been a liability ever since and you've done nothing any better, so we're ditching you like we should have done even earlier. I was just trying to be fucking kind. What should I have done, told him to fuck off?
So what got me my good score? this breakdown is terrible.
10:00 Dead Space.
And the computer flipped itself out into a proactive intervention.
Suddenly, it started to play him the tape of the morning's session with Simon. There he was, fat, stone-faced, saying, 'It's not written for me. It's written for Personnel. '
A full analysis scrolled up on the screen. Flesh tones, oxygen use, body language, uncharacteristic verbals, atypical eye use.
Behavior typical of industrial sabotage. Rage mixed with satisfaction.
In other words, Simon had become dangerous. Not a little bit dangerous, very dangerous. Determined, apparently, to get revenge.
In-house sabotage is one of the greatest problems now facing both manufacturing and service industries.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've been on the course. Jonathan glanced up at the door to make sure it was closed. He could verbal and no-one would hear. George was supposed to be seeing him, but George, thank heaven, was late as usual.
'First. ' Jonathan asked the computer. 'Why didn't you warn me before?'
Programmed to hold all proactive interventions until Dead Space
'Alright, reprogram. If you get a priority like this again, you are to intervene immediately. Please confirm. '
Confirmed
'What are the possible actions taken by Simon Hasley?'
Action taken
'Fine. What is it?'
There was no response at all. It was almost as though the machine had crashed, right in the middle of proactive intervention. It simply went back to what it had been doing before.
The machine had been analyzing Jonathan's performance.
This time he noticed the total score in the upper right hand corner. His total score was 5. 2. It had been 7. 2. If Jonathan knew anything, he knew his own scores.
Simon was changing them.
'CV, please, full CV on Simon Hasley. '
Not available.
File cancelled due to termination of employment
'Simon Hasley is here until 31st August. His files are not cancelled. '
Not available.
File cancelled due to termination of employment
'Then open the ex-employee file. '
???????????????????
'Action. Restore scores for Dayplan Item One to 7. 2. '
ACTION NOT AUTHORIZED.
Jonathan slammed the top of his desk.
George walked in. To talk about late invoicing. And the bloody machine flipped back to its proactive intervention.
