“I want to make love to you while that indecision still torments you, while you’re still not sure if I’m a god or a monster or simply a human like you. I want to be with you in that ultimate moment of vulnerability, when your desire wars with your instincts and every touch of my body triggers both fear and pleasure in you.”
“Fear? Are you threatening to rape me like every other gentry lately?”
“No. I told you, I don’t take women by force. But it doesn’t matter. You’ll come to me by choice.”
“Not likely.”
“Oh, very likely. Your own nature is conflicted, Eugenie. You’re attracted to things you know you shouldn’t be, even if you don’t realize it consciously. You like playing with danger-it arouses you. That’s why you fight the creatures of this world so aggressively. That’s why you’ve come for this girl-despite how foolhardy you know it is. And that’s why you’ll return to me. You won’t be able to help yourself. You want to walk that line, put yourself at risk, see how far you can let yourself go. You protect yourself so fiercely from the things you fear that the thought of letting down your defenses and submitting excites you. Now, you won’t let someone you hate-like Rurik-touch you, but me? You don’t hate me. Not quite. I’m the perfect mix. The perfect way-the safe way-to give in to what you want.”
“You’re crazy.” I broke away, pushing with my hands, not caring if he saw my chest or not. “And you get off on some pretty crazy shit.”
“No crazier than your own desires.”
“You’re wrong. Besides, if I were going to fuck one of you, it wouldn’t be one who harbors plans to take over my world.”
He shrugged, watching me put my clothes back on. “If you say so. Do you still want my earlier offer of help?”
I hesitated. His little sexual tirade had unnerved me-only I couldn’t exactly articulate why. I still needed his help, regardless of my mixed feelings about him. That was becoming increasingly clear.
“Yeah, I’ll still take your servant.”
“Then let’s introduce you.”
Chapter Ten
By my count, we’d spent a little over two hours at Dorian’s and almost an hour getting there. That did not please me. At this rate, we might not get home until dawn in our world. If we made it home.
Dorian’s servant, Gawyn, looked like he was about a hundred years old. No, wait. Actually, that’d be pretty young for one of the gentry. Okay. He looked about a millennium old. I don’t know. He was just old, plain and simple. His gray hair fell almost to his ankles, and as soon as I saw him hobble forward, I suddenly envisioned us taking another three hours to get to Aeson’s, despite how close Dorian and the spirits claimed it was.
“He’s ancient,” I whispered to Dorian. “And he seems kind of…out of it.”
Gawyn was currently telling Wil what lovely legs he had, despite the fact that Wil had none in spirit form. I wasn’t entirely sure if Gawyn even realized Wil was male.
“His mind will be razor sharp when it comes to Aeson’s castle. As for speed, I’ll give you horses. You look like you could ride a number of things exceptionally well.”
I ignored the innuendo, mostly thinking how it’d been years since I’d been on a horse-not counting my earlier capture. Horses had never done much for me. I didn’t get why little girls wanted ponies. If I did more riding tonight, I’d likely be sore as hell tomorrow.
Once my weapons were returned, we set out. Dorian waved us off, telling me he’d be looking forward to my next visit. I stayed professional, simply thanking him for his help. I think this delighted him more than any other reaction could have.
The horses did give us more speed than walking and were the best I could have hoped for in a world without mechanical transportation. The horse I rode was midnight black with a small white star on its nose. Gawyn’s appeared to be a palomino. The spirits and Wil merely drifted in our wakes.
In the darkness, I could just barely see Gawyn glancing over at me. “So you’re Eugenie Markham. The Dark Swan.”
“So they say.”
“I met your father once.”
“Oh?” I didn’t bother making the father-stepfather clarification.
“Great man.”
“You think so?”
“Absolutely. I know some don’t think so…but, well, you should be proud.”
“Thank you. I am.”
Gawyn said no more, and I pondered his words, feeling kind of surprised. Considering what Dorian had told me, I hadn’t expected Roland to have fans in the Otherworld. Then again, Dorian had also said that some-what was her name? Maiwenn?-had opposed Storm King. They might very well view Roland as a hero.
We traveled in relative silence after that, broken occasionally when Finn would happily spout about what a great party Dorian had had. Like before, we crossed in and out of the various kingdoms and their climatic changes. I still felt like we traveled in circles. More than once, Gawyn called us to a halt, scratched his head, and mumbled to himself. I didn’t find that reassuring. At one point, he led us off the trail and into a forest, and I hoped one of my minions would speak up if we’d gotten completely lost. Everything was tropically warm and flourishing here, so presumably we rode in the Alder Land again. Gawyn came to a stop.
“Here,” he said.
I looked around. Night insects sang in the trees around us, and the smell of dirt, fresh growth, and decaying plants permeated the air. It had been dark before, but now the canopy of leaves blocked out even starlight. Gawyn climbed off his horse, nearly falling into a heap on the ground. I started to get down and help him, but he soon righted himself. He walked a few paces forward and then slammed his foot against the ground. A hard, solid sound answered back.
I dismounted as well. “What is that?”
Volusian, back in a legged form, walked over. “A door of sorts. Built into the ground.”
“Yes,” said Gawyn triumphantly. “Built for sieges. But never used anymore.”
“Does it lead into Aeson’s fortress thing?” I asked.
“To the cellar. Stairs from the cellar lead up to the kitchen. From the kitchen, you take the servants’ stairs-”
“Whoa, hang on.”
I wanted to make sure I had it all. Volusian created blue flame to cast light, and we drew a map in a clear spot of dirt based on Gawyn’s recollections. I might have doubted his memories, but he spoke with certainty, and he had managed to lead us to this obscure place. Maybe Dorian had been right in the “razor sharp” assessment. When Gawyn felt we had the directions to the residential wing memorized, he told us he wouldn’t join us. He would wait here to tell Dorian what became of us. That was fine by me. I didn’t really regard Gawyn as a battle asset-or Wil, for that matter. Unlike the old man, however, the ghostly conspiracy theorist didn’t take being left behind so well.
“But I told you, I need to reassure her-”
“No,” I said firmly. “I let you come this far, and you almost ruined things with those riders. Now you wait. If Jasmine’s scared, she’ll hold on a few more minutes until we bring her out to you.”
I worried I’d have to bind him-I could actually do it since he was here in spirit, not in body-but it didn’t come to that. He conceded, so I entered the trapdoor with just my minions in tow.
“Truly,” remarked Nandi as we entered a darkened tunnel, “it is amazing that you have not died yet, mistress.”
“Well, hang in there. The night is young.”
Volusian provided light again, and we let it guide us along a stone-encased tunnel that smelled damp. Rats ran by at one point. Finn had been right. Apparently the Otherworld did have its share of animals and vermin.
When the tunnel sloped upward, I knew we had reached the end. A wooden door in the ceiling marked our
