The Gargoyle

The question made him restart his stride. “That story is not for you.”

“I’ve already heard it.”

Sigurðr turned and leveled his eyes at me. “No. You’ve heard Marianne’s version of my story, which is a different thing. How do you dare to think you know my heart, when you don’t even understand your own?”

Leave it to a Viking to disarm you with eloquence when you least expect it. I shut up and started walking again.

I kept thinking that something was just ahead, but nothing ever was. I kept thinking that we’d encounter a ridge overlooking a valley, or moss sprouting out of granite crests, but each “ridge” was nothing more than the current horizon being replaced by a new horizon. I prayed for anything to break the monotony. A boulder. A moose’s hoof print. A frozen sled dog. A man’s name pissed into the snow with swooping yellow letters. But we encountered only more ice, more snow. On the third day (I think it was the third), I just stopped. Gave up.

“There’s nothing out there. Whatever you think you’ll find…” My voice trailed away. “Sigurðr, you’ve been going ‘there’ for more than a thousand years, and you don’t even know where there is.”

“You travel until you arrive,” he said, “and you have now come far enough.”

This place was absolutely no different from any other place on the tundra. I spun around in all directions, throwing my arms about to emphasize this point. “What are you talking about?”

“Look into the sky.”

My eyes went up. Despite the fact that no one was within miles, a single flaming arrow was arching directly towards me.

I wanted to move but was frozen to the spot, my only reaction to cover my head with my hands. (Although, after hearing all of Marianne Engel’s stories, a more logical decision would probably have been to cover my heart.) The arrow missed me by a few inches, striking the ground, and the earth broke open like an albino monster unhinging its jaw. Huge segments of ice lifted and twisted, throwing us wildly around. A large chunk hit my right shoulder, sending me bouncing into another ragged block. There was a moment of clarity, similar to that moment when I’d driven over the cliff, in which everything slowed as I watched it unfold. Water languidly erupted from a crack in the ground, and I finally understood why there had been nothing to distinguish the landscape in all the time that we’d been walking. We had not been on land at all, but on a massive sheet of ice. Frozen slabs pirouetted around me and soon I found that gravity was pulling me into the newly uncovered sea.

An immediate chill cut through me completely. My pelts were useless; worse than useless, actually, because they absorbed water and started to pull me down. At first I was able to claw my way along the bobbing ice at the surface, digging my fingers into any cracks I could find. I felt the warmth of my body suck itself into the core of my stomach, but soon the heat was not safe even there. I could feel my movements slow, and my teeth were clattering so violently that they drowned out the cracking of the ice around me; I wondered whether even my keloid scars were turning blue.

Sigurðr was nowhere to be seen. He must have been swallowed amid the bobbing ice. A block brushed up against the left side of my body and another smacked at my back. They were circling around me, closing in and pushing me down. Any scientist will explain that broken ice redistributes evenly on the surface of the water, and this is what it was doing in an attempt to cover the hole that the arrow had opened. So even in a hallucinatory ocean the basic laws of physics still seemed to apply; this, no doubt, would have brought a smile to Galileo’s face.

I could no longer hold my head above water, the ice tap-tap-tapping against my cauliflower ears, and I closed my eyes because this is what one does when going under. I felt my body shut down. So this is how it ends. In water. I slipped under, and actually felt some relief. It’ll be easier this way.

I had no trouble holding my breath for many minutes, dropping the entire time, until I tired of waiting for my lungs to give out. I opened my eyes, expecting that I would not be able to see more than a few feet. Just as it had been difficult to gauge distance above the ice, so it was underneath: once again there was nothing to supply perspective. No fish, no other creatures, no weeds, only clear water. Bubbles escaped from the folds of my clothing and rolled up along my body until they caught at the corners of my eyelids. Funny. In the real world I couldn’t produce tears of water, but in an underwater world I could produce tears made of air.

A glow emerged, above me, in the distance. It refracted through my bubble tears and I wondered, Is this the corridor of light that leads a dead man to Heaven? Not bloody likely. The way things were going, it was probably one of those saber-toothed fishes that uses dangling phosphorescent flaps of skin to lure in other animals to eat. As it turned out, however, the glow was neither the path to Heaven nor a Machiavellian fish. It was the fire of the burning arrow that had crashed into the ice, now clenched in one of Sigurðr’s hands as he came plunging through the ocean towards me.

The light (a fire that doesn’t extinguish in water: so much for natural physics still applying in a supernatural place) played across Sigurðr’s beard and into the creases around his eyes. His long red hair stretched out around his head like a glowing kelp halo, and he was smiling serenely, as if something wonderful were happening. He held out the arrow like an Olympian passing the torch and, all the while, we continued our slow descent through the water. My fingers closed around the shaft, I felt glorious warmth spread through my body, and Sigurðr smiled like a man who had done his job. Like a man who would continue to be remembered. He nodded his approval and plunged far below, leaving me to continue falling liquidly alone.

I fell through the bottom of the ocean.

I dropped only a few feet before I hit the ground. When I looked up, the floor of the ocean-the water that should have been a ceiling above me-was gone. My feet were on solid matter and the light had changed from the ocean’s crystal blue to a dead gray.

I was now in a dark wood of twisted trees.

· · ·

I heard the scurrying patter of feet across the forest floor, coming from at least three sides. Twigs snapping, brush rustling. I held up the arrow to use as a torch. The flash of a four-footed animal sliding among the tree trunks, then a glimpse of another creature. How many were there? Two-no, there went another! Three, at least! What were they? My mind ran wild with bestial imaginings: a lion, a leopard, perhaps a wolf. If they came for me, how could I protect myself? I had the Viking’s scabbard, but not the sword; I had the Buddhist’s robe, but not the faith.

Directly ahead was a path that led through the forest, over a small hill, and I could hear the approach of another, bolder animal. There, a hint of it through the trees. It appeared bipedal, so perhaps some sort of fabulous forest ape? Apparently not. When it came around the corner, I could see that it was a man, dressed in simple clothing, with a large stomach and stubble on his cheeks. When he saw me, a broad smile spread across his face and he lifted his arms out as if preparing to embrace an old friend after years apart. “Ciao!”

“Tu devi essere Francesco.” You must be Francesco. With Sigurðr, I had known Icelandic; with this one, I understood Italian.

“Sм,” he confirmed, taking my hand. “Il piacere è mio.”

“No, the pleasure is mine. A mutual friend has shown me some of your work. It’s good.”

“Ah, Marianna!” Francesco beamed. “But I’m just a simple craftsman. I see you’ve brought the arrow. Good. You might need that.”

“What do we do now? Please don’t say that you don’t know.”

Francesco laughed until his bear’s belly shook. “Sigurðr’s always been a little confused, but I know exactly where we’re going.” He paused for effect. “Straight into Hell.”

You have to appreciate a man who can say such a thing with a straight face, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, I think I’m getting used to that, anyways.”

“This Hell will be more complex, so you’d be wise not to laugh too hard.” But, to reassure me after his warning, he added, “I’ve been sent to lead you, at Marianna’s request. She came with prayers for you.”

“I guess that’s a start.” And so we set off on our infernal quest. I was armed with a flaming arrow, a Buddhist robe tied around my waist, a Viking snowsuit, and an empty scabbard, and I had a fourteenth-century metalworker as my guide. I couldn’t have been more prepared.