Rebecca clutched her head in both hands. «I can`t believe this; I cannot
believe we`restill talking about this. Isn`t there a statute of limitations to the
ghastly grisly crime of taking my hair down? How long is this going to go on?»
«As long as it takes,” responded Tony, who turned back to Philip. «But
what about my question, Philip? You put yourself forward as a monk, as someone
beyond all this, too pure to be interested in women, even very attractive
women...”
«Do you see now,” Philip addressed Julius, not Tony, «why I was reluctant
to enter the group?»
«You anticipated this?»
«It is a true and tested equation,” replied Philip, «that the less I have to do
with people, the happier I am. When I tried livingin life, I was drawn into
agitation. To stay out of life, to want nothing and to expect nothing, to keep
myself engaged in elevated contemplative pursuits—that is the path, my only
path, to peace.»
«Well and good, Philip,” responded Julius, «but,if you`re going to be in a
group or lead groups or try to help clients work on their relationships with others,
you absolutely cannot avoid entering into relationships with them.»
Julius noted Pam slowly shaking her head in bewilderment. «What`s
happening here? This is crazy–making. Philip here? Rebecca flirting with him?
Philip leading groups, seeing clients? What`s going on?»
«Fair enough; let`s fill Pam in,” said Julius.
«Stuart, that`s your cue,” said Bonnie.
«I`ll give it a crack,” said Stuart. «Well, in the two months you were away,
Pam—”
Julius interrupted. «This time, why don`t you just get us started, Stuart. It`s
unfair for us to ask you to do all the work.»
«Right. But, you know, it`s not work—I like to give overviews.» Seeing
Julius about to interrupt, he quickly said, «Okay, I`ll just say one thing and stop.
When you left, Pam, it was a downer to me. I felt we had failed you, that we were
not good enough or resourceful enough to help you with your crisis. I didn`t like
that you had to turn elsewhere—to India—for help. Next.»
Bonnie quickly said, «The giant issue here was Julius`s announcement
about his illness. You know all about this, Pam?»
«Yeah.» Pam nodded gravely. «Julius told me when I phoned last weekend
to tell him I was back.»
«Actually,” Gill said, «I want to amend that—no offense, Bonnie—but
Julius didn`t tell us. What happened was that we went out for coffee after Philip`s
first meeting, andhe told us since Julius had told him in an individual meeting.
Julius was pretty pissed at Philip`s preempting him. Next.»
«Philip`s been here about five sessions. He`s in training to be a therapist,”
said Rebecca, «and, as I understand it, Julius was his therapist many years ago.»
Tony said, «We`ve been talking about Julius`s...uh...condition and uh...”
«You meancancer . That`s a shocking word, I know,” said Julius, «but it`s
best to look it in the face and say it.»
«About Julius`scancer. You`re one tough old bird, Julius—I gotta hand it to
you.» Tony went on, «So we talked about Julius`s cancer and how hard it was to
talk about other things that were small in comparison.»
Everyone had spoken but Philip, who now said, «Julius, it would be okay if
you were to tell the group about why I first came to see you.»
«I`ll help, Philip, but it would be better, when you`re ready, to describe that
yourself.»
Philip nodded.
When it became clear that Philip was not going to continue, Stuart said,
«Okay, back to me—a second round?»
Looking around at nodding heads, Stuart continued, «In one meeting
Bonnie had some reactions to Rebecca`s coming on to Philip.» Stuart stopped,
looked at Rebecca, and inserted, «Rebecca`sallegedly coming on to him. Bonnie
did some work on her feelings about her self–image, her sense of being
unattractive.»
«And clumsiness and inability to compete with women like you, Pam, and
Rebecca,” said Bonnie.
Rebecca said, «While you were away Philip made a lot of constructive
comments.»
«But revealed nothing about himself,” said Tony.
«One last thing: Gill had a serious confrontation with his wife—even
considered walking out,” said Stuart.
«Don`t give me too much credit—I waffled. That resolve lasted about four
hours,” said Gill.
«A good review,” said Julius, looking at his watch. «Before we quit, let me
ask you, Pam, how are you handling this—you feel more on board?»
«Still unreal. I`m trying to hang in, but I`m glad to stop. This is all I can
deal with today,” said Pam, gathering up her things.
«I`ve got to say something,” said Bonnie. «I`m frightened. You all know I
love this group, and I feel it`s ready to detonate and blow apart. Will we all be
back? You, Pam? You, Philip? You guys coming back?»
«A straight question,” Philip quickly responded. «I`ll respond in kind.
Julius invited me come to the group for six months, and I agreed. I also have his
commitment for supervisory credit. I plan to pay my bill and honor my contract.
I`m not leaving.»
«And you, Pam?» said Bonnie.
Pam stood. «This is all I can deal with today.»
As the members left, Julius heard some comments about going out for
coffee. How would that work? he wondered. Would Philip be invited? He had
often told the members that extragroup meetings could be divisive unless
everyone was included. Then he noticed that Philip and Pam were heading toward
the door on a collision trajectory. This should be interesting, he thought. Philip
suddenly took note of it and, realizing that the doorway was too small for two,
stopped and softly muttered «please» and stepped back to allow Pam to go
through first. She strode out as if he were invisible.
22
Women,
Passion,
Sex
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