Desire

'And you would not have contracted any match at all if you had had a choice. Is that correct?'

'Aye.'

'Unless, of course, you could have married Raymond de Coleville.'

Clare did not like the edge she heard in Gareth's voice. She decided it was time to change the subject.

''Twill soon be time for the spring fair in Seabern. That is where we sell many of our potions and' perfumes. Rich merchants journey all the way from London and York to buy them. Would you care to learn about that aspect of the business?'

'Later. At the moment, I wish to learn how you met de Coleville.'

Clare sighed. 'He was a friend of my father's, a fellow scholar. They met two years ago when my father traveled to Paris to attend the lectures on Arab treatises that are given there.'

'Raymond de Coleville was also studying in Paris?'

'Aye. Although trained as a knight, Raymond is, in truth, a very learned man.'

'Astounding.'

'He is far more interested in books and treatises than in tournaments and warfare.'

'Is he?'

'Like you, he was gracious enough to show a great curiosity about my potions and perfumes. Indeed, he and I often conversed on the subject for hours.'

'Did you?' Gareth asked softly.

'Of course his interest in the subject was purely intellectual, while yours is based on more practical reasons.'

'You think my interest is merely mercenary in nature?'

Clare flushed. 'I meant no insult, sir. Tis only natural that your curiosity stems from the fact that my perfumes will be the source of your future income.'

'I do not come to you a poor man, Clare. Landless, aye. But not poor.

Hunting outlaws for rich lords pays well.'

Things were getting more uncomfortable by the minute. Clare sought for a way out of the quagmire.

'If I offended you, I beg pardon.'

Gareth's expression grew thoughtful. 'A ghost, a neighboring lord, an obnoxious young troubadour, and now a man from your past who serves as the measure by which you judge all other men. Is there no end to the list of rivals I must defeat, madam?'

Clare had the uneasy impression that Gareth was once again amusing himself at her expense. 'I do not know what you. mean, sir. Tis obvious that you need defeat no other man for my hand. The matter of our marriage is settled, is it not?'

'Nay, not entirely. There is something else that must be discussed.'

'What is that?'

'Our wedding night.'

'Oh, that.' Clare straightened in the saddle. 'Aye, now that you mention it, mayhap we should clarify the details.'

'Mayhap.'

She took a deep breath. 'I regret that the matter came out in such an awkward fashion this morning.'

'Awkward? I would term it something more than awkward.'

'Very well, embarrassing.' Clare scowled. 'I assure you that I had intended to deal with it far more privately.'

'You issued a challenge this morning, madam. And you did so in front of your entire household and the lord of a neighboring manor. By now everyone on Desire is aware that you intend to deny me my rights as a husband.'

Clare cleared her throat and prepared to stand her ground. 'As I said, I did not intend to make such a public spectacle of the thing. It was your fault, sir.'

'My fault?'

'Aye. The threats you made to Nicholas were insulting to my honor.'

'So you lost your temper and said things in front of the world that you had originally intended to say when the two of us were alone.'

Clare exhaled deeply. 'I regret to say that I do not have as much control over my temper as you appear to have over yours, Sir Gareth.'

'Mayhap you merely lack practice.'

She met his eyes. 'How is it that you have learned to hold your emotions on such a tight rein?'

'I am a bastard, remember?'

'I do not understand. What does that have to do with your skill at self-mastery?'

'An illegitimate son learns early in life that he will be offered only the leavings. And he soon discovers that he will have to do battle in order to hold on to those things to which he does succeed in laying claim. Strong emotions are dangerous for bastards.'

'But why? Surely you must feel such emotions even more keenly than most simply because you are forced to struggle harder to get what you want.'

Gareth gave her an odd look. 'You are a perceptive woman. But as it happens, reason, logic, and determination are the weapons that have served me best, lady, not wild, uncontrollable passions.'

Clare searched his face and saw that he meant every word of that statement. 'I understand. The nature of your temperament is your own business, sir. However, I trust you will comprehend that my temperament is somewhat different from yours.'

'Aye.' Gareth smiled one of his exceedingly rare smiles. 'Yours no doubt causes you a great deal more trouble than mine causes me.'

Clare abandoned that argument. She had a more important one to pursue.

'Sir, I shall be blunt. Tis not merely the offense you gave my honor this morning that I wish to discuss.'

'I was preparing to defend your honor this morning, not offend it.'

'Well, I was offended,' she snapped. 'But putting that aside, I must tell you that I wish to become better acquainted with you before we consummate our marriage.'

'We are as well acquainted as most husbands and wives are before marriage.'

'That may well be, but it is not saying much. I want us to learn more about each other. I want time for us to become friends, sir.'

'You were friends with Raymond de Coleville, were you not?'

'Aye, but that has nothing to do with this.' Clare grew more annoyed.

The man was as slippery as a trout. 'Let us return to the matter at hand. I am sorry if I embarrassed you, but I meant what I said this morning. I wish to wait before we consummate our marriage. Do you comprehend me?'

Gareth studied her in silence for a long moment. Then he turned his head and gazed out over the fields of spring flowers. 'I comprehend your wishes, my lady. And I respect those wishes.'

'Excellent.' Clare felt relief well up inside her. She gave him a warm smile. 'Then there is no need to continue with this discussion.'

'But I wonder if you have considered the problems you created this morning with your failure to control your temper and your tongue.'

Clare's relief vanished. 'What problems?'

'Your people will not accept me as their new lord until you do. The challenge you issued this morning will likely make things very difficult for me to assume my duties as the lord of Desire.'

'Nay, that is not true, sir.'

'I can enforce my authority through the usual meth-ods,' Gareth agreed.

'After all, the men that I brought with me are loyal only to me and they are well trained.

Furthermore, they are the only armed men on the isle. They should have no great trouble making certain that my commands are carried out.

But I doubt that you would care for the means by which they will do so.'