“No kidding.”
“That’s what this convention is. Northern Resort Owners Association.”
“I heard of it,” I said, nodding. “Never bothered to join, myself.”
Not by nature much of a joiner.
“I’m a past president,” he said, obviously proud of that. “Anyway, I run a place called Sylvan Lodge. My third and current, and I swear to God everlasting wife, Ruth Ann? Maybe I mentioned her last night? Anyway, Ruthie inherited it from her late parents, God rest their hardworking Republican souls.”
None of this came as a surprise to me. Grizzly bear Gary had always drawn women like a great big magnet- usually good-looking little women who wanted a father figure, Papa Bear variety. Even in Bangkok on R amp; R, Gary never had to pay for pussy, as we used to delicately phrase it.
“I’m happy for you,” I said. “I always figured you’d manage to marry for money.”
“My ass! I really love Ruth Ann. You should see the knockers on the child.”
“A touching testimonial if I ever heard one. Listen… about that bullshit I was spouting last night…”
His dark eyes became slits, the smile in his brushy face disappeared. “We’ll never speak of that again. Understood? Never.”
He reached out and squeezed my forearm.
I sighed and smiled tightly and nodded, relieved. Killing Gary would have been no fun at all.
He continued, though. “My sorry fat ass wouldn’t even be on this planet, if it wasn’t for you. I owe you big time.”
“Bullshit,” I said, but not very convincingly.
“I’ve had a good life, at least the last ten years or so, since I met Ruthie. You’ve been swimming in Shit River long enough. Let me help you out.”
“Gary, I…”
“Actually, I want you to help me.”
“Help you?”
Gary’s business was such a thriving one that he had recently invested in a second lodge, one across the way from his Gull Lake resort. He had quickly discovered he couldn’t run both places himself, at least not “without running my fat ass off.” He offered me the job of managing Sylvan.
“We’ll start you at 5OK, with free housing. You can make a tidy buck with damn near no overhead, and you can tap into at least one of your marketable skills, and at the same time be out of the way. Keep as low a profile as you like. You don’t even have to deal with the tourists, to speak of-we have a social director for that. You just keep the boat afloat. Okay?”
“Okay,” I said, and we shook hands.
Goddamn I was glad I hadn’t killed him…
Two
Now, here I was a little more than six months into the job, and a month into the first winter-off-season, settled in. My quarters, despite the rustic trappings of the cabin-like exterior, were modern-pine paneling skirting the room with pale yellow pastel walls rising to a high pointed ceiling. Just one A-frame room with bath and kitchenette, but a big room, facing the lake, which was a mere hundred yards from the deck that was my back porch. Couch, Dish TV, plenty of closet space, a comfortable bed. I didn’t need anything more.
During off-season like this, I could’ve moved into more spacious digs if I liked, but I hadn’t bothered. My first summer and fall at Sylvan Lodge had been a real pleasure. Just a short jog across the way was an indoor swimming pool with hot tub and sauna, plus a tennis court; a golf course, shared with Gary’s other lodge, was an easy drive. My duties were constant, but mostly consisted of delegating authority, and the gay chef of our gourmet restaurant made sure I ate well and free, and I’d been banging Nikki, the college girl who had the social director position for the summer, so my staff relations were solid.
But the cold months had come, and in this part of the world that was fucking cold indeed. Everyone except a maintenance guy, Jose, was gone, and even he didn’t live on site; Nikki was back blowing frat boys and probably posing for a Playboy college-girl spread, and I didn’t even want to know what my gay chef was up to. Gary was off with Ruth Ann down in Florida, where his “winter” home was, and I was up here, keeping an eye on things-like making sure a moose didn’t get inside the restaurant and take a dump or something.
In short, I had nothing to do. The only managerial instruction I’d given Jose since we closed for the season was to keep the pool and hot tub and sauna going, for my personal use.
So for the past month, boredom had started to itch at me…and for the past few nights I’d had trouble sleeping. I sat up all night watching satellite TV and reading paperback westerns; then I’d drag around the next day, maybe drifting to sleep in the afternoon just long enough to fuck up my sleep cycle again that night.
It was getting irritating.
At about three-thirty in the morning on the fourth night of this shit, I decided eating might do the trick. Fill my gut with junk food and the blood could rush down from my head and warm my belly and I’d get the fuck sleepy, finally. I hadn’t tried this before because I’d been getting a trifle paunchy, with this easy job, even more so since winter kicked in.
In the summer, at least, I could swim in the lake every day and get some exercise and keep the fucking spare tire off. But with winter here, I’d just let my beard go and belt size, too. I tried to make myself do laps in the pool across the way, but mostly I sat in the hot tub and drank Coca Cola and thought about my past. I wasn’t sure why- it wasn’t the kind of past you got anywhere with by thinking about it. The only thing I knew for sure was, this winter was making me fat and lazy and, now, fucking sleepless.
The cupboard was bare so I threw on my thermal jacket and-since I was alone on my stretch of Sylvan Lake- took the ten-mile ride to the nearest junk food. At this time of night a shabby little convenience store, Ray’s Mart, with its one self-service gas pump, was the only thing open fifteen miles in either direction.
The clerk was a heavy-set brunette named Cindy from Brainerd. She was maybe twenty years old and a little surly, but she worked all night, so who could blame her.
“Mr. Ryan,” she said, flatly, as I came in, the bell over the door jingling. She was engrossed in a telephone conversation and this effusive greeting had been both an effort and a concession to a regular customer.
“Cindy,” I said, with a nod, and I began prowling the place, three narrow aisles parallel to the front of the building. None of the snacks appealed to me-chips and crackers and Twinkies and other preservative-packed delights-and the frozen food case ran mostly to ice-cream sandwiches and popsicles. In this weather, that was a joke.
I was giving a box of Chef Boyardee lasagna an intent once-over, like it was a car I was considering buying, when the bell over the door jingled again. I glanced up and saw a well-dressed, heavy-set man-heavy-set enough to make Cindy look svelte-with a pockmarked, Uncle Fester-ish face and black-rimmed glasses that fogged up as soon as he stepped in.
He wore an expensive topcoat-a tan Burberry number with a red-and-black plaid scarf, the sort of pricey ensemble that required a small mortgage-and his shoes had a bright black city shine, barely flecked with ice and snow. His name was Harry Something-the-fuck, and he was from Chicago. I knew him, in my former life.
I turned my back.
If he saw me, I’d have to kill him-I was bored, but not that bored.
Predictably, Harry Something went straight for the potato chips; he also rustled around the area where cookies were shelved. I risked a glimpse and saw him, not two minutes after he entered, with his arms full of junk food, heading for the front counter.
“Excuse me, miss,” Harry Something said, depositing his groceries before Cindy like an offering on an altar. His voice was nasal and high-pitched; a funny, childish voice for a man his size-it went well with the Uncle Fester face. “Could you direct me to the sanitary napkins?”
Cindy winced, phone in hand, annoyed by this intrusion. Harry was not a regular customer.
She said, “You mean Tampax?”
“Whatever.”
