hat on a mostly bald noggin, though the hair he did have was longish, enough so that he had sideburns, not quite mutton chops but close. He was in a tan trench-coat that had a lumpiness indicating it was heavily lined; and brown slacks and brown rubber-soled shoes.
He was grinning, not a very wide grin, but a toothy Bucky Beaver thing that gave him a hint of childish glee. Whoever he was, he figured he’d really put one over on me.
Which he had.
“Just take it easy, kid,” he said. His voice was a fairly squeaky tenor, not at all impressive, except for belonging to a guy with a gun.
The nine millimeter was in my waistband but my corduroy jacket was zipped. Maybe I could slip my hand up and under and get at the weapon; and maybe not. Probably not.
“Why don’t you come over here, kid,” he said, and motioned with the. 38. “Get away from the windows.”
“I’m okay where I am.”
“No, really, you aren’t. I’m not going to shoot you.”
“Then put the gun down.”
“Not till we’re better acquainted. I think we might work for the same team…well, not the same team. But maybe affiliated teams, you know?”
I didn’t say anything, because I didn’t know. I did get to my feet and I walked over to the half of the living room still covered in plastic, my footsteps crinkling it this time. I faced him but kept my distance, maybe four feet.
“Listen, kid,” he said, regret in his voice but the Bucky Beaver grin still going, “I gotta pat you down.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
His eyes got hard and the grin vanished; his mouth was a puckery thing in the five o’clock-shadowed face, an anus that wandered off course. “You put your hands up, kid, and stand for a frisk. Be a good boy. I been at this longer than you. I got ties older than you.”
That I believed.
I put my hands up. I was ready to bring them down on him, but he was experienced, I’ll give him that. When he got close, he shoved the snout of the revolver in my side and with his free hand unzipped my coat.
“Now that’s a weapon,” he said admiringly of the nine millimeter in my waistband. He plucked the gun like a metal flower and dropped it in a trenchcoat pocket and backed up a couple steps.
Was I dead?
“Let me guess,” he said genially. “You’re working for the father.”
“Am I?”
His somewhat Neanderthal brow wrinkled. “Don’t answer questions with questions. It’s annoying.”
“Is it?”
The bucktooth grin again. “You have a sense of humor. That’s good. Because people with senses of humor, they have a certain love of life. What is it the French say?”
“ Merde?”
“ Joie de vivre. And people with a love of life don’t take stupid chances, particularly when they don’t have to. I don’t wanna kill you, kid. Really I don’t. It would be a real pain in my keister, and neither would I want to piss off the girl’s father.”
“Who would?”
He chuckled. “You know, you’re pretty good. I didn’t spot you till today. How many days you been here?”
“This is the second.”
“Well, I’ve been on the job for three days. I’m in the split-level house across the way. I saw you take your car out earlier this evening. That’s maybe not a good idea in the daylight.”
“You may be right.”
“Who do you think I’m working for?”
“Not the girl’s father.” That’s all I could think of to say-my information was limited.
“No,” he said, shaking his head in agreement, “not the girl’s father, which is a pity.”
“Is it?”
His tiny glittery eyes tightened. His nose was really ugly, with veins and blackheads and whiteheads in the crevices. And those beaver teeth were yellow, probably from smoking, because he stank of it. Death is never pretty, but did I really have to get killed by somebody this unpleasant?
He moved just a little closer. The gun-in-hand was angled away just a shade, to make me feel less threatened, I guess, and more like we were pals. Or anyway, business associates. Affiliated teams and all.
“The wife has money,” he said confidentially. “I mean, the prof has done fairly well, hasn’t he? Movie sale on that book of his, a big advance for this opus he’s knocking out now.”
So he was working for the professor’s wife-that made sense: a philandering husband can attract the likes of this bucktoothed frog.
“You’re a private eye,” I said.
He reared back with a blink and a grin. “Yeah, of course I’m a PI. Like you are. That is, unless you’re just one of daddy’s regular helpers, which you don’t look like in the least. Anyway, he’s all tied up with that nigger problem, ain’t he?”
“Yeah. Fuckin’ spooks.” What the hell was he talking about?
He sighed, shook his head. “You know, those Italians think Chicago is their birthright, and when a bunch of uppity spades start moving in on the dope business, things can get hairy.”
“That’s for sure.”
“But if we know one thing about these Outfit wops, it’s that they are rolling in dough. Illegal dough, sure, but dough don’t know where it comes from.”
“Right.”
“Like I said, the wife has money. But the girl’s father has real money.”
“No argument.”
He moved his weight from one brown shoe to the other. “Hey. This is awkward. I mean…we’re gonna be friends, kid. What’s your name?”
“Jack.”
“And I’m Charlie.”
“Pleasure to meet you, Charlie.” I extended my hand but he didn’t take it-his right hand was busy pointing a gun at me, after all. “What kind of friendship are we going to have?”
“The business kind. Let’s go out in the kitchen and sit down and make this nice and friendly and non-hostile, shall we?”
“Sure. After you.”
He horse-laughed, flecking my face with spittle. “Naw, Jack, I think you’ll lead the way. Sense of humor. Kid’s got a sense of humor…”
The kitchen, a modern, spacious white-and-gray affair, had no plastic on the floor, just linoleum. A breakfast nook with a little table in a booth right out of a restaurant was off to one side, with a window that let in moonlight. He motioned me in and then slid in and sat across from me, his hand with the. 38 on the table, casual but ready, like a fork in his fist as he anticipated a meal.
“Now, let’s think about this,” he said in that genial if squeaky tenor. “We have clients with similar interests, right? Both of them want that cheating prick of a professor hung out to dry by his gonads.”
“Agreed.”
His round head tilted. “But there are places where we overlap, our interests…and places where we don’t overlap. Would you agree on that point, too?”
“I may not be following you.”
He shrugged. Frowned, dark little pellet eyes narrowing. “My client, the wife, wants evidence on this horny asshole, so she can divorce his unfaithful ass and get as much of his loot as possible.”
“Oh…kay.”
With his free hand, he gestured grandiosely. “And I have photos that demonstrate this fact-some that catch him naked as a jaybird…with females the same buck nekkid way.”
