Harriet

very brave to keep him. I wouldn’t have the courage.’

Harriet dripped water from a flannel onto William’s round belly.

‘The unmarried mothers’ home wasn’t much fun; all those films on VD and drugs, and having to sew for charity and go to church,’ she said. ‘And it was awful in hospital. All the fathers coming to see the mothers, holding their hands and admiring the babies. One girl had a lover and a husband rolling up at different times; both were convinced they were the father. No-one came to see me. But it was all worth it in the end.’

‘What was the father like — no good?’

Harriet swallowed. ‘That’s him by the bed,’ she said.

‘Crikey,’ said Sammy gaping at the photograph. ‘Wouldn’t kick him out of bed. Not surprised you fell for him.’ She looked at Harriet with new respect. Obviously there was more behind that uptight, rather shy exterior than met the eye. ‘Never mind, you’ve got Cory,’ she said. ‘I wouldn’t mind sharing a house with him.’

‘And Mrs Bottomley,’ said Harriet.

Sammy grinned. ‘Can’t say I’d fancy a threesome with her.’

She started a second coat of polish.

‘I must say it’s nice being here again. I got quite friendly with their last but one nanny. She liked Cory but couldn’t stand Noel. Noel treated her like dirt, always trying to get her to bring up breakfast in bed, and lay out her clothes, and comb out her wigs for her. Can you believe it, she needed a nanny more than the children did. She’s a friend of Elizabeth’s,’ she went on, ‘or rather they both pretend to be, lots of kissing and darlings when they meet, and bitchy as hell behind each other’s backs. Elizabeth doesn’t need a nanny either. She just wants one for status, and to take the children off her hands when she wants to see one of her boyfriends. Honestly she’s had more pricks than a second-hand dart board.’

Harriet laughed, but felt the conversation was getting a bit indiscreet.

‘Are you going out with anyone nice tonight?’ she said.

‘Smashing! He’s a Finn. His firm have sent him over here to build a factory outside Leeds. He’s got a lovely accent and an island all of his own. I said I thought all Finns were very drunken and uncouth. He said Finns ain’t what they used to be. I thought that was quite witty.’

Harriet sprinkled William with talcum powder, trying not to feel envious. It was such a long time since she’d had a date. In the same magazine that she had read about sieving carrots and cabbage had been a piece on bringing up children. ‘All babies need the love of a father and a mother,’ it had said, ‘a background of security and a happy home.’

Oh dear, perhaps she ought to start looking for a father for William.

‘Where does one meet people round here?’ she said.

‘Darling,’ said Sammy. ‘On the other side of the valley is Wakeley, with discos and bright lights and rich industrialists with loads of bread just waiting to spend it on you and me. There’s even a singles bar just opened called the Loose Box. It’s always packed with the most dishy single guys, people who’ve come up North on conferences and who’ve got nothing to do in the evenings. I picked up my Finn there. I’ll take you there one evening next week.’

Harriet cuddled William, feeling his small solid weight against her left shoulder, his fat hands clutching her hair, thinking how gorgeous he smelt. The Loose Box sounded rather too advanced for her.

The telephone went.

‘I’ll take him,’ said Sammy, holding her arms out to William.

It was a Senora di Cuizano ringing from Rome. It was imperative to talk to Cory, she said. Harriet wasn’t risking it.

‘I’m afraid he’s awfully busy at the moment. Can he ring you back?’

The Senora sounded extremely put out. Perhaps she ought to tell Cory? Then she heard the front door bang. He’d probably gone out to get some cigarettes. She went into the kitchen to get tea. Sammy came down and sat in the rocking chair, hiding behind her hair, then peeping out making William crow with laughter.

Ten minutes later she heard the front door open; he must have just gone down to the stables.

‘I wonder what Chattie and Georgie are up to,’ said Sammy, making no attempt to move.

‘I’ll just make the tea,’ said Harriet, ‘and I’ll go up and see.’

‘Oh look — walnut cake,’ said Sammy, ‘how lovely. Elizabeth’s so mean we’re never allowed anything like that for tea and when you consider the amount they spend on drink, and pouring oats down their horses. It must be quite a nice life being Elizabeth’s horse.’

‘Cory’s nice that way,’ said Harriet. ‘He’s not interested in how much money I spend. He’s nice anyway,’ she said, ‘when he’s not being nasty.’

She had spoken too soon. At that moment Cory threw open the door.

‘Harriet,’ he roared, ‘will you get those bloody children out of my hair. Can’t you manage to control them for five minutes. That infernal Georgie’s been smoking my cigars, and sprayed water all over my script, and Chattie’s scribbled over the walls.’

Sammy giggled.

‘Oh God,’ stammered Harriet. ‘I’m sorry. I’ll remove them at once. I thought they were watching television.’

‘Who was that on the telephone?’ said Cory.

‘A Senora di Cuizano rang from Rome.’

‘And what did you say to her?’ said Cory, his voice suddenly dangerously quiet.

‘I — er — said you were busy.’

‘Jesus Christ,’ said Cory. ‘Don’t you realize that was Zefferelli’s PA? I’ve been trying to get hold of her all day. You’ve probably just lost me half a million bucks.’

Harriet fled upstairs and met Chattie and Georgie coming down.

‘I don’t like Daddy,’ said Chattie, sniffing.

‘Makes two of us,’ muttered Harriet.

Georgie was looking very green.

‘Where does Dracula stay in New York?’ he said.

‘I don’t know,’ snapped Harriet.

‘The Vampire State Building,’ said Georgie, and was violently sick all the way down the stairs.

Later she was telling Chattie a bedtime story.

‘Who’s been sleeping in my bed?’ she said in mother bear’s medium sized voice.

‘Why don’t Mummy and Daddy bear say, “Who’s been sleeping in our bed”,’ said Chattie. ‘Mummy and Daddy used to sleep in the same bed, although they don’t now. They might again one day, I suppose.’

‘And little baby bear said, “Who’s been sleeping in my bed”,’ said Harriet, in a high voice.

‘My mother’s very famous,’ said Chattie. ‘She looks like a princess all the time. Georgie says his mother doesn’t look like a princess first thing in the morning, only when she goes out. People are always asking for my mother’s naughty-graph.’

Harriet decided she’d heard quite enough about Noel Balfour in the last twenty-four hours.

‘And Goldilocks looked up and saw the little baby bear, and screamed and screamed.’

‘Is Drackela in real life?’ said Chattie.

‘Oh Chattie,’ wailed Harriet, ‘can’t you concentrate for one minute?’

Cory appeared in the doorway.

‘Hullo, Daddy,’ said Chattie.

Harriet refused to look up; her lips tightened; she was fed up with Cory.

‘That’s enough stories for one night,’ said Cory.

Harriet got up, and walked straight past him.

She heard Chattie shrieking with giggles as he kissed her good night.

Downstairs, the tea things were still waiting to be cleared away. Harriet groaned. She felt absolutely knackered. Dispiritedly she started loading the washing-up machine.

Cory walked in and opened the fridge.