America, gave way to tears.
Around five-thirty, when there seemed nothing left to weep out of her system, she tried to pull herself together, took Blue for a quick desolate walk across the water meadows and had a bath. At half-past-six and seven she was interrupted by carol singers. At a quarter-past-seven she was disturbed by two men with a van, who said they had some stuff to deliver.
‘What stuff?’ snapped Cameron.
‘Six tea chests full of books, records and some clothes.’
‘Don’t be fucking stupid! You’ve got the wrong house! Take it away!’ she screamed.
At that moment Patrick walked purposefully through the door, carrying two squash rackets and a portable typewriter under one arm and a large ginger cat under the other.
‘I don’t like cats, nor does Blue,’ snarled Cameron.
‘You will,’ said Patrick soothingly. ‘Just give me five minutes,’ he added to the van driver, as he pushed Cameron into the sitting-room and shut the door behind him.
‘What the bloody hell are you playing at, and what’s all that shit they’re delivering?’
‘I’m moving in,’ said Patrick, putting the ginger cat down. Immediately Blue bounced up to the cat, dropping gracefully down on his front paws, head on one side. The cat hissed, tail like a Christmas tree, and took a fierce swipe at Blue’s nose. Blue gave a yelp and retreated between Cameron’s legs.
‘They’ll get used to each other,’ said Patrick, ‘just like we will.’
‘We bloody won’t.’
‘Yes, we will. I love you.’
‘You can’t any more. I’ve been such a bitch, ’ said Cameron, going very pale. ‘Anyway, I love Rupert.’
‘No you don’t, or you wouldn’t have gone to bed with my father in Ireland.’
‘I didn’t,’ stammered Cameron.
‘Yes, you did on the last night, and he felt so guilty about it afterwards, that’s why he didn’t get back for Mum’s play.’
‘Don’t you mind?’ said Cameron, appalled. ‘It’s practically incest.’
‘It is not. It’s you I’m interested in, and, anyway,’ said Patrick with more than a touch of Declan’s arrogance, ‘as I’m a much younger, more beautiful, more together, about to be much more successful version of my father, it’s perfectly logical that you should fall in love with me.’
‘You’re a toy boy,’ said Cameron as his hands tightened round her waist.
‘I’m not. I’m a man of substance. The BBC have just bought my first play and commissioned another. I’m going to write a kid’s play called “Noddy in Toyboyland”.’
Cameron grinned. ‘You’d better cancel the contract, and I’ll produce them both.’
‘Nope,’ said Patrick firmly. ‘I never mix business with pleasure, and you, my dear, dear love are only pleasure.’
‘I love Rupert,’ wailed Cameron.
‘Don’t be silly,’ said Patrick, drawing her close to him.
‘Well, perhaps I don’t,’ said Cameron bewildered, as a few minutes later they were interrupted by a loud knock on the door.
‘Can we unload the stuff now, sir?’ said the driver.
Patrick looked at Cameron questioningly.
‘Oh well, I guess you bloody well can.’
As the men stumped out to the van, Patrick smiled down at her: ‘I just want to check out on your availability for the next thousand years.’
‘I’ve never seen such a change in Taggie,’ said Caitlin to Archie next morning. ‘She keeps giggling all the time, and grinning from ear to ear, and she’s suddenly got terribly protective. Rupert’s been asleep for twenty-four hours in the spare room, and the most amazingly important people have rung up, and she hasn’t let any of them talk to him.’
‘That’s nice,’ said Archie, kissing her. ‘They say love hits you with even more of a thunderbolt when you’re old.’
Rupert woke to blue skies and birds singing outside, a fire in the grate and total panic inside. He had no idea where he or Taggie was. Then suddenly he became aware of something warm and furry, and realized Gertrude was lying in the small of his back. Slowly the events of yesterday reasserted themselves and he felt so happy he nearly went back to sleep again. Next minute the door opened very cautiously.
‘I’m awake,’ said Rupert.
‘You did sleep well,’ said Taggie in delight as she put down the breakfast tray piled with orange juice, coffee, croissants and home-made apple jelly.
‘Because I felt safe for the first time in my life. Come here.’ Rupert patted the bed, and when he kissed her, she smelt equally of toothpaste and her mother’s scent.
Afterwards he stroked her face incredulously. ‘I still can’t believe I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you.’
‘Nor I you,’ sighed Taggie.
‘I was going to bring you bacon and eggs,’ said Taggie, spooning a pip out of the orange juice, ‘but I thought if you hadn’t been eating, it might be too rich for you.’
Then she giggled. ‘A girl from the
‘What did she want?’ asked Rupert, thinking how wonderfully it suited her to be so happy.
‘She said, “How did you first meet your fiance and what was he doing?” I couldn’t say you were playing nude tennis with Sarah Stratton, so I said Basil brought you round for a drink. And the Leader of the Opposition rang twice. Evidently the Government’s fallen and there’s going to be an election. She wants you to ring her urgently. I said you were asleep.’
Rupert’s eyes gleamed. ‘I’ve got a feeling you’re going to be far, far more use to me than I ever dreamed. We’d better get married at once. I’m allergic to the word fiancee; even you can’t glorify it.’
‘I certainly can’t spell it,’ said Taggie.
Later, downstairs, they discussed marriage plans.
‘I suppose it’ll have to be Cotchester Registry office,’ said Maud, who was thinking about her wardrobe.
‘I got married in a registry office the first time round,’ said Rupert. ‘As it’s the real thing this time —’ he raised Taggie’s hand to his lips and kissed it — ‘we thought we might get married in church. I’m sure we can find some trendy parson in London who won’t mind my being divorced.’
‘I’ve got a better idea,’ said Declan, reaching for his telephone book.
‘Tabitha’s going to be a bridesmaid,’ said Taggie to Caitlin. ‘Would you like to be one too?’
‘Only if I can wear jeans,’ said Caitlin.
Declan, having for once dialled the right number, was put straight through to the Bishop of Cotchester. He immediately apologized for being so shirty on the telephone the other day and wondered whether the Bishop would reconsider coming on to the Venturer Board after all.
After some huffing and puffing about having to take a stand over Rupert Campbell-Black’s disgusting memoirs, the Bishop said he would be delighted, and wrote down the date of the first board meeting.
‘There’s just one other thing,’ said Declan. ‘My daughter, Taggie, is getting married and her one wish is to be married by you in Cotchester Cathedral.’
Taggie turned crimson. ‘It isn’t true!’ she squeaked, looking at Rupert who had started to laugh.
The Bishop once again told Declan that he’d be delighted. He’d become extremely fond of Taggie in the past year.
‘Just the simplest service,’ said Declan. ‘Only family and very close friends and, of course, all our Venturer supporters.’
‘Splendid, splendid,’ said the Bishop. ‘And who is the very, very lucky young man?’
‘Well, I’m just coming to that,’ said Declan.
THE END
