going badly. Therefore the lion’s share of my gratitude must go to my family, including my mongrel Barbara and her agent Gypsy (who met a very nice class of dog at polo matches) for their endless understanding and good cheer.
Finally, I would like to pay tribute to all the gallant ponies who take part in the game and to the grooms who spend such long hours looking after them.
CHARACTERS
BART ALDERTON: An American airplane billionaire. Polo patron of the Alderton Flyers.
GRACE ALDERTON: His second wife.
LUKE ALDERTON: Bart's son by his first wife. A professional polo player.
RED ALDERTON: Bart's and Grace's son. An unprofessional polo player.
BIBI ALDERTON: Bart's and Grace's daughter – a poor little rich girl.
THE HONOURABLE BASIL: English polo player, BADDINGHAM: jack of all trades.
PHILIP BAGLEY: A vet.
DREW BENEDICT: English polo player and a dashing Captain in the Welsh Guards.
SUKEY BENEDICT: His wife. An English heiress and jolly good sort.
JAMES BENSON: A smooth private doctor.
MRS BODKIN: Rupert Campbell-Black's housekeeper.
MARGIE BRIDGWATER: An American lawyer.
JAIME CALAVESSI: An Argentine polo player.
RUPERT CAMPBELL-BLACK: Show-jumping ace, later MP for Chalford and Bisley and Minister for Sport.
TABITHA CAMPBELL-BLACK: His daughter.
BRIGADIER CANFORD: Chairman of the Pony Club and later of the British Polo Association.
DOMMIE AND SEB CARLISLE: English polo players – known as the Heavenly Twins.
WINSTON CHALMERS: A shit-hot American lawyer.
LUCY CHALMERS: His ravishing much younger wife.
DORIS CHOW: A Chinese hooker.
KEVIN COLEY: A petfood billionaire and polo patron of Doggie Dins.
ENID COLEY: His awful wife.
TRACE COLEY: His daughter.
CONCHITA: Bart Alderton's maid.
CAMERON COOK: Director of Programmes at Corinium Television.
JACKIE COSGRAVE: Hippy painter and art lecturer. Also proficient in the art of lechery.
BRAD DILLON: Team manager of the American polo team.
RICKY FRANCE-LYNCH: A nine-goal English polo player, nicknamed
CHESSIE FRANCE-LYNCH: His bored, but exquisitely beautiful, wife.
WILLIAM FRANCE-LYNCH: Their three-year-old son.
HERBERT FRANCE-LYNCH: Ricky's father. A tartar and former nine-goal polo player.
FRANCES: Ricky France-Lynch's head groom.
DINO FERRANTI: American show-jumper. Sales Director of Ferranti's Inc.
BOBBY FERRARO: An American polo player.
COMMANDER 'FATTY': Club Secretary of Rutshire HARRIS: Polo Club.
SIMPSON HASTINGS: A lethal American journalist.
PAUL HEDLEY: A member of the crack South Sussex Pony Club team.
BRIGADIER HUGHIE: Chairman of Rutshire Polo Club and the club bore.
MRS HUGHIE: His wife.
INOCENTA: A misnamed Argentine beauty.
JESUS: A nine-goal Chilean polo player given to telephonitis and treble-dating patrons.
JOEL: Ricky France-Lynch's farm manager.
BEATTIE JOHNSON: A seductive, unprincipled, Fleet Street columnist.
JOSE: A glamorous Mexican ringer.
VICTOR KAPUTNIK: A Hungarian pharmaceutical billionaire, patron of the Kaputnik Tigers.
SHARON KAPUTNIK: A nymphomaniac night-club hostess later married to Victor.
MARMADUKE KEMPTON: A tobacco baron.
AURIEL KINGHAM: A very famous American film star.
MISS LEDITSKY: Bart Alderton's secretary.
BILLY LLOYD-FOXE: Ex-England show-jumper and BBC Sports Presenter.
JANEY LLOYD-FOXE: A national newspaper columnist.
MISS LODSWORTH: Commissioner for Rutshire Girl Guides, hoary polo groupie and a rip- roaring busybody.
JUSTIN AND PATRICK
LOMBARD: Brothers and members of Rutshire Pony Club polo team.
LOUISA: One of Ricky France-Lynch's grooms.
HAMISH MACLEOD: A television producer.
DAISY MACLEOD: His wife, a painter.
PERDITA MACLEOD: Daisy's daughter.
VIOLET MACLEOD: Hamish's and Daisy's daughter.
EDDIE MACLEOD: Hamish's and Daisy's son.
BRIDGET MACLEOD: Hamish's mother, an absolute bitch.
'DANCER' MAITLAND: A cockney rock star. Lead singer of Apocalypse.
LIONEL MANNERING: A goaty psychiatrist.
PHILIPPA MANNERING: His man-eating wife.
MANUEL: Bart Alderton's groom.
LANDO MEDICI: A bent polo patron.
ALEJANDRO MENDOZA: A ten-goal Argentine polo player, the greatest back in the world.
CLAUDIA MENDOZA: His wife.
LORENZO, LUIS AND PATRICIO MENDOZA: Alejandro's elder sons. All polo players.
CASSANDRA MURDOCH: Luke Alderton's girlfriend.
BEN AND CHARLES NAPIER: Eight-goal English polo players and brothers known as the Unheavenly Twins.
SHARK NELLIGAN: A nine-goal American polo player.
SETH NEWCOMBE: An ace American bone surgeon.
JUAN O'BRIEN: A ten-goal Argentine polo player. David Waterlane's hired assassin.
MIGUEL O'BRIEN: Juan's elder brother. Another ten-goal polo player and David
