my own fragrance.’
Orange blossom! Glancing at Auriel’s left hand, Bart was at least relieved to see no engagement ring, despite jewellery everywhere else, including a diamond bracelet on her perfect ankle.
Grinning insolently, Red dropped the Yorkshire terriers in front of Luke.
‘I told you I’d bring a Christmas take-out for Leroy. Merry Christmas, Dad,’ he added to Bart.
‘Merry Christmas, my ass,’ snapped Bart.
‘So glad to know you, Mr Alderton,’ said Auriel, taking Bart’s hand. Then, turning to Bibi in her frumpy black dress, ‘And you, Mrs Alderton.’
Chessie gave a gasp of laughter.
‘I’m afraid I’m Mrs Alderton.’
‘But you look sixteen.’
‘For that you may call me Chessie.’
‘I prefer Francesca,’ said Auriel. ‘It’s more gracious and I can see, Francesca, you are a very gracious lady.’
‘Gee, thanks,’ said Chessie.
‘I hope you don’t mind my gatecrashing your Christmas festivities,’ went on Auriel. ‘Red assured me you wouldn’t mind.’
‘Red is so generous,’ murmured Chessie, wondering how the hell she was going to divide seven smoked salmon fishes between eight. She supposed it was better than five thousand.
‘And I’ve brought you all gifts from my new range,’ went on Auriel. ‘It’s called “Auriel” and it is glorious. Fragrance for you, Francesca. Fragrance for you, Bibi. Antiseptic cream for you,’ she couldn’t bring herself to use Perdita’s name, ‘and aftershave and cologne for you, Bart, and you must be Luke. If you like it, I know you’ll tell all your friends.’
‘I’d better organize another place,’ said Chessie, pressing a bell.
Bart was absolutely furious.
‘What the fuck d’you think you’re doing?’ he hissed, taking Red aside.
‘Following yonder star,’ said Red, nodding in Auriel’s direction. ‘Oh, star of wonder, star of light, Star of World Class Bank account.’
‘Shut up,’ snarled Bart. ‘How dare you barge in here with her! It’s goddam rude to Chessie and she’s too goddam old for you.’
‘You can give Chessie a good twenty-two years,’ said Red coolly. ‘Perhaps we ought to swap. Christ!’ He looked round the living room. ‘What have we he-ah – Conchita’s blue period, or blue collar period? Why are you kicking my ankle, Luke? Chessie did it all? Oh, right. That explains it.’
‘Mom liked things simple,’ said Bibi. ‘She always had red roses, and she always wore her rubies at Christmas dinner. D’you remember, Red?’
‘I’m starving,’ said Luke evenly, smiling at Chessie. ‘It smells incredible.’
‘I thought we’d dine in half an hour, after we’ve opened our presents,’ Chessie told him gratefully.
‘Mom believed in self-control,’ taunted Bibi. ‘She always made us wait to open our presents till after dinner. Have you heard from her, Red?’
‘We called her this evening,’ said Auriel, accepting a glass of champagne from Conchita. ‘What a gracious lady. Now Grace truly is a gracious lady.’
‘Crack!’ murmured Chessie to Bart. ‘Can you hear the breaking of New Year’s Resolutions? You were at school with Grace, weren’t you, Auriel? Why don’t you have a Very Old Girl’s Reunion.’
But Auriel had drawn Bart down beside her on the sofa.
‘Red’s been showing me videos,’ she purred. ‘My, you’re a fine player. I hope to join Red in England this summer when he plays on your team.’
Auriel and Red, Luke reflected five minutes later, got away with murder because people were so anxious to go to bed with them – Red in terms of behaviour, Auriel in terms of conversation.
‘I never have time to practise,’ she was now telling a glazed Bart. ‘That’s why my handicap’s only minus one.’
‘I wish we were minus her,’ Luke murmured to Chessie. ‘Her ego’s even bigger than her boobs.’
‘Not a lot,’ said Chessie drily. ‘Bart’s going to fall down her cleavage if she gets any nearer. It’s so embarrassing we haven’t got her any presents.’
‘Just giftwrap Red. That’s all she wants, judging by the number she’s doing on Dad.’
Red turned to Perdita, who’d been increasingly edgy all evening about seeing him again.
‘Hi, Judas,’ he said coldly; then, grinning and lowering his voice, ‘You did me a good turn tipping Auriel off about Lucy Chalmers. After a lot of foot-stamping she admitted she really cares,’ he dropped his voice an octave, aping sincerity, ‘which means I get all my bills picked up.’
‘Red bought me a Sheraton sideboard from Christie’s for Christmas. Isn’t that darling?’ Auriel was now telling a blanching Bart.
‘She paid for it,’ Red murmured to Perdita.
‘Didn’t you give her anything?’
Red smiled. He had a trick of letting those amazing, kholed eyes suddenly gaze deep into yours, so for a second you thought he was being serious.
‘She’s had her labia pierced, so I gave her a couple of diamond studs. Makes it hard, eating her out. Like getting bits of grit in one’s oyster.’
Perdita gave a scream of shocked amusement.
‘I want you personally to design me my own airplane. The Alderton Auriel, I can just picture it – flamingo pink,’ Auriel was now saying as though she was bestowing a great favour on Bart, who was desperately trying to prevent a Yorkshire terrier fornicating with his left leg without actually kicking it.
‘I think we’d better open our presents,’ said Chessie.
‘Good idea,’ said Luke. ‘I’m sorry about Angel. He’s not usually as late as this.’
‘Who?’ said Bibi sharply.
‘Your father’s new ringer,’ said Chessie. ‘Luke thought he might be lonely away from home.’
‘For Chrissake,’ snapped Bibi.
‘He’s lovely,’ chipped in Perdita. ‘Luke rang to ask the name of his street. He said: “I look out of the weendow,” then came back and said it is called “One Way”.’
‘Christmas is for the family,’ Bibi glared at Luke. ‘Why d’you want to ask some hick Argy who’ll be completely out of his depth?’
‘Lame ducks are better than lame dicks,’ said Red, draining and refilling his glass.
On cue Leroy barked, the Rottweilers bayed, the Yorkshire terriers yapped and Bibi’s heavy jaw dropped as Angel came through the door. For the last fortnight he’d been enjoying the sun and the girls of Palm Beach. He was tanned a smooth milk-chocolate brown, his bronzed curls were bleached and streaked. White jeans and a blue, sleeveless T-shirt covered with car oil and black, rubber tyre marks clung to his wonderfully elongated, elegant body. He looked a hundred million dollars and was carrying a rose pink poinsettia. Going up to Chessie, he said, ‘For you. I am very unwise man bearing gifts. I am sorry I am late. I ’ad flat tyre and got ’opelessly lost.’
‘How lovely, thank you,’ said Chessie taking the plant, then, adding to Luke, ‘you were quite right, he’s so beautiful I think we’ll keep him just for stud purposes. Now, let me introduce everyone. You know Bart,’ Bart and Angel nodded at each other without friendliness. ‘And Bart’s beloved son, Red, by whom he has been well fleeced.’
‘Very funny,’ said Red, shooting his stepmother a look of pure hatred.
‘I watch the match against the Kaputnik Tigers,’ Angel told Red. ‘Zat last chukka, you play like an Argentine. I nevair realize you zat good.’
‘Well, thank you,’ said Red, mollified. ‘Luke says you’re pretty sharp too. How are those bastards Juan and Miguel treating you?’
‘Terrible,’ began Angel, then seeing Bart’s look of disapproval, ‘terribly nicely.’
‘And this is Bart’s daughter, Bibi,’ went on Chessie.
‘Hi,’ said Angel, thinking what a pity Bibi didn’t have Red’s looks.
‘And Auriel, who needs no introduction.’
