have the key.”
She could see his face now clearly, with its desperate growth of whisker and its wrinkles etched deeply with filth; yet he was young. Above his fierce yet vacant eyes a single eyebrow ran.
“It’s damned unfair,” he said. “They’ve all got houses, what the hell do they need a park for too?” He stared at her, rageful and frustrated. She wondered if she should explain to him that there was no more injustice in his being locked out of this park than out of the buildings that surrounded it. The way he looked at her seemed to require some plea; or then on the other hand perhaps the injustice he complained of was the universal and unanswerable kind, the kind Fred Savage liked to point up, needing no spurious or ad-hoc explanations. “Well,” she said, as she often did to Fred.
“When your own great-grandfather built the damn thing.” His eyes looked upward, calculating. “Great-
He wasn’t a nut. City-dwellers in general and Hawksquill in particular have a sure sense, in these encounters, of the distinction—fine but real—between the impossible imaginings of the mad and the equally impossible but quite true stories of the merely lost and damned, “Which,” she said, “are you, the Mouse, the Drinkwater, or the Stone?”
“I guess you wouldn’t know,” he said, “how impossible it is to get a little peace and quiet in this town. Do I look like a bum to you?”
“Well,” she said.
“The fact is you can’t sit down on a God damn park bench or a doorway without ten drunks and loudmouths collecting as though they were blown together. Telling you their life stories. Passing around a bottle. Chums. Did you know how many bums are queer? A lot. It’s surprising.” He said it was surprising but in fact he seemed to feel it was just what was to be expected and no less infuriating for that. “Peace and quiet,” he said again, in a tone so genuinely full of longing, so full of the dewy tulip-beds and shadowed walks within the little park, that she said: “Well, I suppose an exception can be made. For a descendant of the builder.” She turned her key in the lock and swung open the gate. For a moment he stood as before those final gates of pearl, wondering; then he went in.
Once inside his rage seemed to abate, and though she hadn’t intended it, she walked with him along the curiously curving paths that seemed always about to lead them deeper within the park but in fact always contrived to direct them back to its perimeters. She knew the secret of these—which was, of course, to take those paths which seemed to be heading outward, and you would go in; and with subtle motions she directed their steps that way. The paths, though they didn’t seem to, led them in to where a sort of pavilion or temple—a tool shed in fact, she supposed—stood at the park’s center. Overarching trees and aged bushes disguised its miniature size; from certain angles it appeared to be the visible porch or corner of a great house; and though the park was small, here at the center the surrounding city, by some trick of planting and perspective, could hardly be perceived at all. She began to remark on this.
“Yes,” he said. “The further in you go, the bigger it gets. Would you like a drink?” He pulled from his pocket a flat clear bottle.
“Early for me,” she said. She watched, fascinated, as he undid the bottle and slid a good bit of it down a throat no doubt now so flayed and tanned it couldn’t feel. She was surprised then to see him shaken by big involuntary shudders, and his face twisted in disgust just as hers would have been if she’d tried that gulp. Just a beginner, she thought. Just a child, really. She supposed he had a secret sorrow, and was pleased to contemplate it; it was just the change she needed from the hugeness she had been struggling with.
They sat together on a bench. The young man wiped the neck of his bottle on his sleeve and recapped it carefully. He slid it into the pocket of his brown overcoat without haste. Strange, she thought, that glass and clear cruel liquid could be so comforting, so tenderly regarded. “What the hell is that supposed to be?” he said.
They faced the square stone place that Hawksquill supposed to he a tool shed or other facility, disguised as a pavilion or miniature pleasure-dome. “I don’t know exactly,” she said, “but the reliefs on it represent the Four Seasons, I think. One to a side.”
The one before them was Spring, a Greek maiden doing some potting, with an ancient tool very like a trowel and a tender shoot in her other hand. A baby lamb nestled near her and like her looked hopeful, expectant, new. It was all quite well done; by varying the depth of his cutting, the artist had given an impression of distant fields newly turned and returning birds. Daily life in the ancient world. It resembled no spring that had ever come to the City, but it was nonetheless Spring. Hawksquill had more than once employed it as such. She had for a time wondered why the little house had been placed off-center on its plot of ground, not square with the streets around the park; and after a little thought saw that it faced the compass points, Winter facing north and Summer to the south, Spring east, and Autumn west. It was easy to forget, in the City, that north was only very approximately uptown—though not easy for Hawksquill, and apparently this designer had thought a true orientation important too. She liked him for it. She even smiled at the young man next to her, a supposed descendant, though he looked like a City creature who didn’t know solstice from equinox.
“What good is it?” he said, quietly but truculently.
“It’s handy,” said Hawksquill. “For remembering things.”
“What?”
“Well,” she said. “Suppose you wanted to remember a certain year, and the order in which events happened then. You could memorize these four panels, and use the things pictured in them as symbols for the events you want to remember. If you wanted to remember that a certain person was buried in the spring, well, there’s the trowel.”
“Trowel?”
“Well, that digging tool.”
He looked at her askance. “Isn’t that a little morbid?”
“It was an example.”
He regarded the maiden suspiciously, as if she were in fact about to remind him of something, something unpleasant. “The little plant,” he said at length, “could be something you began in the spring. A job. Some hope.”
“That’s the idea,” she said.
“Then it withers.”
“Or bears fruit.”
He was thoughtful a long time; he drew out his bottle and repeated his ritual exactly, though with less grimace. “Why is it,” he said then, his voice faint from the gin that had washed it, “that people want to remember everything? Life is here and now. The past is dead.”
She said nothing to this.
“Memories, Systems. Everybody poring over old albums and decks of cards. If they’re not remembering, they’re predicting. What good is it?”
An old cowbell rang within Hawksquill’s halls. “Cards?” she said.
“Brooding on the past,” he said, regarding Spring. “Will that bring it back?”
“Only order it.” She knew that, reasonable as they might seem, people like this who live on the street are differently composed from people who live in houses. They have a reason for being where they are, expressed in a peculiar apprehension of things, a loss of engagement with the ordinary world and how it goes on, often unwilled, She knew she must not press questions on him, pursue a subject, for like the paths in this place that would only lead her away. Yet she wanted very much now not to lose contact. “Memory can be an art,” she said schoolmarmishly. “Like architecture. I think your ancestor would have understood that.”
He lifted eyebrows and shoulders as though to say Who knows, or cares.
“Architecture, in fact,” she said, “is frozen memory. A great man said that.”
“Hm.”
“Many great thinkers of the past”—how she had caught this teachery tone she didn’t know, but she couldn’t seem to relinquish it, and it seemed to hold her hearer—“believed that the mind is a house, where memories are
