“What?”
“What’s going on, Joe?” Judith demanded. “Did
something happen to Phyliss? I can’t afford to lose my
cleaning woman when I’m laid up like this.”
“Well . . . It seems that Phyliss grabbed the laundry
basket to take upstairs so she could strip the beds, and
as you might imagine, the snake got loose, and—” Joe
stopped speaking as Judith heard the cleaning woman
shriek in the background:
“Lucifer! Satan! Beelzebub! He’s on the loose,
tempting sinners! Look out, Lord, he may be coming
after me! Keep him away, Lord! I don’t want to wear
scanty underwear and dance to suggestive music!”
“You hear that?” Joe asked. “Phyliss passed out cold
when she saw the snake, but she’s come to now.”
“Oh, good grief!” Judith cried, raking her fingers
over her scalp. “Is she okay?”
“Not exactly,” Joe replied calmly as voices contin-164
Mary Daheim
ued to sound in the background. “She came to, but she
swears she’s having a heart attack. Arlene says it’s just
gas, but you know Phyliss, she’s kind of a hypochondriac.”
Phyliss Rackley was indeed a hypochondriac as well
as a religious zealot. But she was also a terrific cleaning woman. Judith hung her head. “What’s happening
now? Did you say ‘medics’?”
“Yes, yes, I did,” Joe replied, still keeping his voice
calm. “Phyliss insisted we call an ambulance. But the
medics were having trouble getting up the hill with all
this snow. Even with chains, they had trouble, but they
think they can make it if they give it another try.”
“Where
global-sized headache was setting in.
“On the sofa in the living room,” Joe said. “Really,
she seems okay. I wish Arlene wasn’t trying to get her
to take all that Gas-X, though. That can produce some
pretty revolting results with somebody like Phyliss.”
“What about the damned snake?”
“The snake?” Joe hesitated. “A good question. I’m
not sure.”
“Joe . . .”
“I’ll check. Right away. Hey, I really called to see
how you were feeling this morning.”
“How do you think I feel?” Judith retorted. “I feel
absolutely awful. I’m hanging up now so you can
straighten out this horrible mess. I’m not even going to
ask how the rest of the guests are managing. Goodbye.” Judith slammed down the phone with a big bang.
Bob Randall Jr. stood in the doorway. “Excuse me,”
he said in a diffident voice, “have you seen my sister,
